THREE ABOUT ME

Okay...I stole this from Tia..who said she stole it from Steve Gall. I liked the idea, so here goes....Three about me.....

THREE JOBS I'VE HAD (and liked)....Legal secretary...when I first got out of high school, the lawyer also paid for me to go to night school and get a legal secretarial certificate.

Real estate secretary. I loved the job and my bosses. Over the nine years I worked there I became sales manager, property manager and they paid for me to go to school to get an appraisers license and my own real estate license.

Real Estate Salesperson. It was a wonderful job when my last child was born, Icould choose my hours.

THREE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS.....Tammy, Buddy and Joey. I thank God every day for entrusting those precious lives to me....and for all His help in making them the wonderful adults they are.

THREE FOODS I could, but don't want to, live without.... Peanut butter M&Ms...should be one of the major food groups. Fried Chicken. Fried baloney sandwich.

THREE PLACES I've lived....Kentucky, Michigan, Indiana

THREE PEOPLE who have had the most influence on my life....Mr. Banks, my 4th and 5th grade teacher, Granny (my grandmother Polly Shepherd). Pastor Bob Hueni.

THREE PLACES I'd love to be right now....forget this one, I don't want to be anywhere else at this point in my life or with anyone else but Joe.

GRANDMA'S APRON

The principle use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a holder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears. From the chicken-coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids. And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron. From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees. When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that "old-time apron" that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER THIS! Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

DEAR GRANDSON

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life.

Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love, Grandma

PS The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"

DOCTOR DAY

Today was a big day....both Joe and I went to the doctor! Mine was just routine (you know the usual routine from the doctor....you still smoking?)

Joe went to get his ankle checked out. He's had an open sore on it for two or three months. I clean it every day and put neosporon and bandage on it. It seems to heal...redness gone, swelling gone....then within a week or two it's back, as bad as ever.

Doc said it's a Venus Ulcer. He cleaned it (abraided it...or something like that) and put a bandage on it. Joe has to go back in two weeks.

After the doctor, I dropped Joe and George off at OTB and went to the flea market...worked there for four hours....froze my project off!! This zero and below temps are the pits. At least it's supposed to be warmer tomorrow....in the 20's....Heat Wave!

LOOKING GOOD

LOOKING GOOD

My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put my glasses back on

THE LORD'S PRAYER...A CONVERSATION WITH GOD

Our Father which art in heaven ..."

"Yes?"
"Don't interrupt me. I'm praying."

"But you called me."

"Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father which art in heaven ..."

"There ... you did it again."

"Did what?"

"Called me. You said, Our Father which art in heaven. Here I am. What's on your mind?"

"But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done."

"All right. Go on."

"Hallowed be thy name ..."

"Hold it! What do you mean by that?"

"By what?"
"By 'hallowed be thy name'?"

"It means ... it means ... good grief! I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?"

"It means honored ... holy ... wonderful."

"Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Sure, why not?"

"What are you doing about it?"

"Doing? Nothing, I guess! I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there."

"Have I got control of you?"

"Well ... I go to church."

"That isn't what I asked you. What about your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money ... all on yourself. And what about the kind of books you read?"

"Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church.

" Excuse me. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it ... like you, for example."

"Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others."

"So could I."

"I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to ... you know ... be really free."

"Good ... now we're getting somewhere! We'll work together, you and I. Some victories can truly be won. I'm proud of you."

"Look, Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. Give us this day, our daily bread."

"You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is."

"Hey, wait a minute! What is this ... 'Criticize me day?' Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups."

"Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer ... (pause). Well ... go on!"

"I'm scared to."

"Scared? Of what?"

"I know what You'll say."

"Try me and see."

"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

"What about Ann?"

"See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family. She never paid back the debt she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!"

"But your prayer? What about your prayer?"

"I didn't mean it."

"Well, at least you're honest. But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness around inside, is it?

"No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor. She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood."

"You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you already are. But I can change all that."

"You can? How?"

"Forgive Ann. Then I'll forgive you. Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours. You will have settled your heart."

"Oh, you're right. You always are. And more than I want to revenge Ann, I want to be right with you. Ann, I want to be right with you ... (pause) ... (sigh). Alright! Alright! I forgive her! Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it. Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it. Someway, somehow, show her the right way."

"There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?"

"Hmmmm ... well, not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest."

"You're not through with your prayer. Go on."

"Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

"Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted."

"What do you mean by that?

" Don't turn on the TV when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up. Also, about the time you spend having coffee with your friends ... if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should re-think the value of those friendships. Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up with." And please don't use me for an escape hatch."

"I don't understand the last part."

"Sure you do. You've done it a lot of times. You get caught in a bad situation. You get into trouble and then you come running to me. "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?"

"Yes and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am."

"Which bargain are you remembering?"

"Well, there was the night that Bill was gone and the children and I were home alone. The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out. I remember praying, 'Oh God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again."

"I protected you, but you didn't keep your promise, did you?"

"I'm sorry, Lord. I really am. Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did."

"Go ahead and finish your prayer."

"For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen."

"Do you know what would bring me glory? What would really make me happy?"

"No, but I'd like to know. I now want to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life. And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers."

"You just answered the question."

"I did?"

"Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there is no telling what we can do together."

"Lord, let's see what we can make of me, okay?"

"Yes, let's see."

CREATION

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long, suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So, God agreed.

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

SO: That is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

AMERICAN IDOL

Yeah...yeah...I'm a big fan of American Idol. And these two nights of auditions have not disappointed me. I really liked the blind guy last night. I think he will go far. Tonight, my favorite was ...again...the last performer, the mother of three. I think it's going to be a good season!

Nothing much is happening in our lives right now. So.....I'm going to be inserting some articles...humourous and otherwise....on being a senior citizen, culled from other sites on the internet. I hope you enjoy them. Don't be afraid to comment.

I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN

I'M A SENIOR CITIZENAnd proud of it!I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, and antacid.

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories. Over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for - long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...uh???...uh.

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors. Absolutely nothing!

If you are what you eat, I'm Shredded Wheat and All Bran.

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years. SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts, I've just lost the key to the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN, and I think I am having the time of my life!!!!

LEAD RULE IN CHILDRENS PRODUCTS

I must have had my head in the sand the past few months. Just today, for the first time, I read an article about the lead rule that goes into effect Feb. 10th. It effects all products aimed for children 12 and under....and any other product that will be used by children. From the research I have done this morning, the list seems endless. It is a good law for children...we all want to protect them from lead exposure. But what will it mean for manufacturers and retailers?

One article said Feb 10 is being called NATIONAL BANKRUPTCY DAY. Why? because small manufacturers can not afford the $300 or more cost to test each of their products. Makers of Hand-made products can't afford the testing, Resale shops...like Goodwill....can't afford the testing. And what about the small flea marketers? Their choices are to either disregard the law, thereby selling illegally, or trash all their existing products.

I suppose a small retailer like a resale shop or flea marketer could ignore the law and keep on keeping on. But, if they should get tested by the "lead police" the fine is $100,000! EEK....I don't know of any flea marketer who could afford that!

There goes all the handmade hats and gloves and jewelry that sell at the flea markets. There goes all your cheap children's clothing at Goodwill or Salvation Army. Because, after Feb 10, they must be able to prove, by testing, that the products are compliant with the lead rule.

I'm mostly concerned about the hand made products. None of us would knowingly use lead products...but even if we absolutely make sure the components we buy and use are lead free, we still have to be able to prove it. Or maybe not....perhaps we just have to make sure we're not selling something manufactured before Feb 10...including components. Probably, if you get nicked by the "lead police" they would have to test your product is see if it is compliant. And woe be to you, me, us, if, say a yarn manufacturer or retail store slips an old skein of yarn in on us that is found to contain more than the allowable amount of lead!! Or, you used an old charm or button you had lying around. See...every component of hand made stuff must pass the test!

What can you do? Write your Senators and Congressmen....ask for an exception for hand made items.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANN

Annie....I hope you have a wonderful birthday. NINE!!! my, you are growing up so fast! Always remember, your Grandma Lori loves you very much. You are very precious and special.

GOOD WEEKEND

This was the best weekend we've had in two months. If we could do this every week, we could pay the rent and make a little profit! So, I have faith that things will improve! Today, three local tv stations were at the flea market filming...news at 6:30 and 11. That is going to make a big improvement in foot traffic!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy new year to all my loved ones. I hope this new year will be your best ever. The economy looks bleak, but that can be a blessing in disguise. It might force us to spend more time...quality time, too...with those who matter most.

My new year's resolution is to praise God more for what I have and petition him less for what I wish I had.