Just a week after Tammy, Buddy and I moved into the apartment on River Street....after our two week stay with Nick and Helen...on Friday after work I decided to go visit my uncle Lee and his family. What a shock I got! Lee had left his family for a woman he met at work. His wife and kids had been living alone for several weeks. She didn't drive and they lived in the country in Sumpter, several miles from Belleville. It was a two mile trip to the nearest little grocery store. Which didn't do them any good. They had no money. The electric was shut off for non-payment. They were nearly out of coal for their coal cookstove. And Martha had a pot of soup beans on the stove that they had been eating for several days. She kept it hot so it wouldn't spoil.
I could not leave them there, so I helped her pack up their clothes and took them home with me...Aunt Martha and her two children, Toby and Karen. Toby was 13 and Karen was just 6. I lived in a small apartment...one huge studio-style bedroom, living room and kitchen. We were crowded, but we made do. The studio style bedroom had two full beds and a couch that made into a bed. The living room couch also made into a bed. My kids and I slept in one bed, Martha and Karen in one and Toby on the couch. A couple weeks later my brother, Jimmy, also came to stay with us. We still made do.
I worked and Martha stayed home with the kids. Then after a couple of months, Martha started getting help from welfare and she moved into an apartment in the same building. At this time, both Avanelle and Phyllis had apartments in the building, too.
The previous winter Tammy and Buddy had both been in the hospital in Battle Creek with bronchial pneumonia. I was so worried about them getting sick, I kept them inside all winter. That was no problem with all the relatives living in the same building. I don't think they left the building from November thru Feb. Actually, this was more due to us not having a car probably. My car tore up not long after Martha moved in. I had to walk to work, about two miles. No easy trick in high-heels. But we were all in the same boat...none of us had a car. Not Avanelle, nor Phyllis nor Martha.
The kids loved it there. Tammy and Buddy loved their cousins and always had someone to play with besides just each other. And, between us, we always had plenty of food. I was the only one working, Phyllis and Avanelle were on welfare also...or what was called ADC...Aid to Dependent Children. Believe me, there were many days I was tempted to quit work and join them, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Even though it sounds like we were one big, happy family, we still had our own apartments...mine was on the second floor, Phyllis was on the first floor, Avanelle was in the basement and Martha's was around back with its own separate entrance. Yet, we could and did, go back and forth all the time. It was nothing for me to end up with Debbie in bed with me and Tammy and Buddy....or go bed by myself because both kids were staying with Avanelle.
Martha only lived there a year. She decided to go to Lexington to be near her family. It was hard saying good-bye to her and the kids. But, she was not able to work...she had epilepsy and had to do what she thought best for her them. Avanelle and Phyllis and I with all our kids went to the bus station with them the day they left. Seeing them get on that bus was hard...both Martha and I, as well as our kids, were bawling our eyes out. Thank God for Phyllis and Avanelle. I only saw Martha a few times after that. When I went to Prestonsburg about once a year I would often stop to see them, if I could find them home.
I can't describe how angry I was with my Uncle Lee. He was Mom's brother and had always been around all my life. He was always available to take me anywhere I needed to go when I was a teenager. He taught me to drive. I cried on his shoulder when I had a fight with a boyfriend. I felt more than anger...I felt betrayed. He had been a constant in my life...and always seemed to adore his wife and kids.
Lee loved me, too. I had no doubt of that. The day after I moved Martha and the kids in with me, I went to Lee's apartment and confronted him. Of course, his girlfriend was there, too...and I said some pretty unpleasant things to both of them. Eventually, after Martha left, Lee came around to see me and we kinda, sorta, patched things up. I still loved him...just not as naively as I once had. I even grew to like Syretta..after he married her. I will say one thing for him. When he was married to Martha, he was a "good-time joe". Always joking and kidding around, seldom serious about anything. He worked every day...but yet his family never had much beyond the essentials...what he spent his money on, nobody knew, but it sure wasn't his family. After he married Syretta, he changed completely. Always serious, seldom joking and kidding around with anybody. They both worked and saved their money and bought a big old farm house and spent all their time and money remodeling it.
Once when he and I were alone on his front porch, he tried to explain to me about the Martha episode in his life. They had married when he was 20 and she was 16. They had two kids...but he said he had never grown up. When he fell in love with Syretta, he said, all of a sudden he wanted to be a man, not a boy playing house. My reply to him was that even though I understood what he was saying, it still did not excuse him walking out on them and leaving them with nothing...not even food to eat. Look at those two, I said pointing to Tammy and Buddy playing in the yard...By the time I was 20, I had two kids...was a single mother by 21. I'm just 24 now....and they are my life. I could quit working and go on ADC and be home with them all the time, that would be the easy way. But that's not the way I want to raise them. Working and worrying about baby-sitters is no picnic. They have forced me to grow up. I can't understand why your kids didn't do the same for you.
Lee said I'm not saying what I did was right...I know it was wrong. All I can do is ask forgiveness...from Martha, Toby, Karen and God. And you. The others have all said they forgive me...can you? Of course, I answered...but forgetting is altogether a different thing. We never again discussed it...and my kids and I were frequent visitors to his home until he passed on.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHIDREN PART 5
ok....this will no longer be in chronological order. I'll just write about things as I think of them.
When Tammy and Buddy were very small, we didn't have a K-Mart or a Wal-mart. But we did have an Arlens Department Store ...similar to K-Mart in prices. I didn't make much money, so a shopping trip to Arlens was a big treat.
The week before school started, I'd take both kids to Arlens for new school clothes. They always started school with one new outfit and new shoes. And they got a new outfit with summer shoes for Easter. Otherwise, the local Goodwill was my store of choice. Both kids were just as happy to get new clothes from Goodwill as from Arlens....and the clothes were usually better, too.
At one shopping excursion to Goodwill, along with Avanelle and her two girls, Phyllis with her daughter...as well as Aunt Susie and her youngest, all the kids were excited. It was May, so we were looking for summer stuff....shorts, sandals, etc. We had told them to pick out what they liked. Those six kids were like locusts! This particular day, Goodwill was having a $1.00 bag sale. Everything you could get in a bag for $1.00
When I went through the bags Tammy and Buddy had filled, I found clothes too big for them..too small for them....and too fancy. My aunt and cousins were having the same problem. We went through the bags and took out the things we didn't want...but the kids did. There was a lot of bargaining, bribes and tears...from the kids. What I remember mostly though, is the laughing. Us adults. When Avanelle's youngest put on a bra....Phyllis's girl put on shorts, a couple of shirts and a dress....all at the same time. At the end, we walked out of there with a bag of clothes for each child and each one looked like it was Christmas!
When we got to Avanelles, we had to have a fashion show. That's when we discovered that the three youngest girls...Tammy, Suetta and Debbie...had walked out with new shoes ...which we had not paid for. I couldn't feel too badly about it because Tammy had left a better pair there. Still, all three got a paddling and a lecture about stealing.
When Tammy and Buddy were very small, we didn't have a K-Mart or a Wal-mart. But we did have an Arlens Department Store ...similar to K-Mart in prices. I didn't make much money, so a shopping trip to Arlens was a big treat.
The week before school started, I'd take both kids to Arlens for new school clothes. They always started school with one new outfit and new shoes. And they got a new outfit with summer shoes for Easter. Otherwise, the local Goodwill was my store of choice. Both kids were just as happy to get new clothes from Goodwill as from Arlens....and the clothes were usually better, too.
At one shopping excursion to Goodwill, along with Avanelle and her two girls, Phyllis with her daughter...as well as Aunt Susie and her youngest, all the kids were excited. It was May, so we were looking for summer stuff....shorts, sandals, etc. We had told them to pick out what they liked. Those six kids were like locusts! This particular day, Goodwill was having a $1.00 bag sale. Everything you could get in a bag for $1.00
When I went through the bags Tammy and Buddy had filled, I found clothes too big for them..too small for them....and too fancy. My aunt and cousins were having the same problem. We went through the bags and took out the things we didn't want...but the kids did. There was a lot of bargaining, bribes and tears...from the kids. What I remember mostly though, is the laughing. Us adults. When Avanelle's youngest put on a bra....Phyllis's girl put on shorts, a couple of shirts and a dress....all at the same time. At the end, we walked out of there with a bag of clothes for each child and each one looked like it was Christmas!
When we got to Avanelles, we had to have a fashion show. That's when we discovered that the three youngest girls...Tammy, Suetta and Debbie...had walked out with new shoes ...which we had not paid for. I couldn't feel too badly about it because Tammy had left a better pair there. Still, all three got a paddling and a lecture about stealing.
Friday, May 29, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 4
We didn't face crises every day. Tammy, Buddy and I had a lot of fun together, too. They were the sweetest kids in the world and loved their Mommy! Yet, they were completely different. Tammy was a needy child....she needed a lot of affection and attention. Buddy didn't. He'd get in my lap for perhaps five minutes and cuddle...then he was squirming to get down. Tammy would sit in my lap, cuddling, for a half hour and when I'd put her down, she'd cry.
We had a routine for weeknights and seldom varied from it, especially after they started school. Supper was at 6...bedtime at 8. But they stretched that 8 rule every night. oh, they'd be in bed, but reading one book to them was never enough...or telling a story. They each had to pick a book...or I had to make up a story for each of them.
Weekends were a different story. Even when I began dating again, I saved either Friday or Saturday night for Tammy and Buddy. In the summer we'd go to the drive-in...usually with a car full of cousins. One Saturday night we all fell asleep....woke up at daylight! And had plans to go to the zoo that day...Sunday. We all went to home...slept about three hours and left to go to the Detroit Zoo. There was three cars full, supposedly following each other. But I had to stop and buy gas and Phyllis didn't stop....she and Avanelle kept going. So, after I left the gas station, I told the kids to keep an eye out for the cops...because I was going to drive like crazy trying to catch up with them.
Sure enough, I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. When I asked the kids why they didn't tell me...their answer was that I didn't tell them to tell me when they saw a police car...just to watch for one.
We had a great day at the zoo....and Buddy and I got burned badly. This was before sunscreen. I bought hats for us but they only protected our foreheads. Tammy didn't burn...she just got darker.
Buddy had a speech impediment until he had a speech therapist work with him in the first and second grades. I was the only person who could understand him...even though Avanelle eventually could. When we went to the bank on Saturday, this teller we always went to would give Buddy a quarter for saying ...truck. You can imagine why.
Tammy started school when she was four...turning five the first of October. Buddy was really upset because he couldn't go to school too. This was the first time they had ever been separated. Of course, I was working...but Avanelle said every day Buddy would stand at the window watching for her and ask every half hour when is Tammy coming home...and on nice days, she'd have to take him and Debbie...her youngest was the same age as Buddy...walking down to the school to meet Tammy. Then Buddy was a happy child again.
We had a routine for weeknights and seldom varied from it, especially after they started school. Supper was at 6...bedtime at 8. But they stretched that 8 rule every night. oh, they'd be in bed, but reading one book to them was never enough...or telling a story. They each had to pick a book...or I had to make up a story for each of them.
Weekends were a different story. Even when I began dating again, I saved either Friday or Saturday night for Tammy and Buddy. In the summer we'd go to the drive-in...usually with a car full of cousins. One Saturday night we all fell asleep....woke up at daylight! And had plans to go to the zoo that day...Sunday. We all went to home...slept about three hours and left to go to the Detroit Zoo. There was three cars full, supposedly following each other. But I had to stop and buy gas and Phyllis didn't stop....she and Avanelle kept going. So, after I left the gas station, I told the kids to keep an eye out for the cops...because I was going to drive like crazy trying to catch up with them.
Sure enough, I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. When I asked the kids why they didn't tell me...their answer was that I didn't tell them to tell me when they saw a police car...just to watch for one.
We had a great day at the zoo....and Buddy and I got burned badly. This was before sunscreen. I bought hats for us but they only protected our foreheads. Tammy didn't burn...she just got darker.
Buddy had a speech impediment until he had a speech therapist work with him in the first and second grades. I was the only person who could understand him...even though Avanelle eventually could. When we went to the bank on Saturday, this teller we always went to would give Buddy a quarter for saying ...truck. You can imagine why.
Tammy started school when she was four...turning five the first of October. Buddy was really upset because he couldn't go to school too. This was the first time they had ever been separated. Of course, I was working...but Avanelle said every day Buddy would stand at the window watching for her and ask every half hour when is Tammy coming home...and on nice days, she'd have to take him and Debbie...her youngest was the same age as Buddy...walking down to the school to meet Tammy. Then Buddy was a happy child again.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 3
After we moved in with Avanelle our lives improved considerably. Both financially and socially. Avanelle and I had always been close. Her sister, Phyllis, and I were inseparable as kids and Avanelle was always close by. As we got older, Avanelle and I became closer. So, this was perfect. It was like living with a sister. We got along perfectly. Her kids loved mine and vice versa. I didn't have to worry about baby-sitters, because Avanelle volunteered to keep them since she was home anyway....at first. After a few months, she went to work at Ford Motor Company on the afternoon shift. She kept the kids during the day, we had a baby-sitter from 3 to 5...and I was home with them in the evenings.
I had an hour for lunch, and got in the habit of running home at lunch time...it was just five minutes from my office. One day...a Thursday...Avanelle and I were sitting in the kitchen eating lunch when we heard a blood-curdling scream from Buddy. We both ran...and found him dangling in the wringer washing machine with his arm through the wringer upto his shoulder. I quickly unplugged the wringer...and Avanelle...with unusual super-human strength, pulled the wringers apart while I pulled his arm out. I rushed him to the ER. The doctors said it appeared to just be badly bruised.
When I went home for lunch the next day, Buddy complained about his arm hurting...but seemed ok. About 3, Avanelle called me at work and said he was running a high temperature. I called our doctor and he said to take him to the ER right away. Which I did...and he was admitted to the hospital with an infection in his arm.
On Saturday, the specialist my doctor had called in....told me he was in critical condition and most likely would lose his arm. He ...the specialist...talked to me several times that day, and had me sign forms for amputation. Then, the hospital said, since Mark and I were still married, they could not perform the surgery without his father's signature, also. I had tried to call Mark already without success. The hospital called the Red Cross and they, too were unable to get hold of him. In the meantime, the doctors were saying if they didn't amputate by Monday, it would be too late and Buddy probably would not make it. I was frantic. I didn't want him to lose his arm...but I sure didn't want him to die. The choice was easy.
Finally, early Sunday morning I got hold of the duty officer at Mark's base in California who happened to be a friend of Mark's. When I asked how I could get hold of Mark, he said Mark lived off base with his wife...and they were in Mexico for the weekend. I went berserk! I said I didn't know who he was living with....and didn't care...but I was his wife, living in Michigan...and had an emergency with his son. I demanded to speak with his Commander...but the duty officer wouldn't put me through, saying he'd take care of it...but he knew there was nothing they could do until Mark got home from Mexico late Sunday night.
Mark didn't get home from Mexico until late Monday Night....and contacted the Red Cross who had left messages for him. He did sign the papers and the red cross called the hospital. But, by then the crisis had passed. For a few days, it was touch and go as to whether Buddy would live or not. He had blood poisoning...but Thank God, he made it through. The skin...clear down to the bone, died in about a four inch square on his upper arm and the doctors took skin from his thigh and grafted it onto his arm. He was in the hospital a month.
I had a problem with the hospital. Back then, they thought parents were a nuisance. We had to observe visiting hours. I could go up at lunch time and feed Buddy...who was just four years old...and then go back from 5 to 8. Even when he was the sickest, in Intensive care...I couldn't stay with him. It was frustrating. The only phone we had was in the dining room....and on a short cord. I was afraid to go to bed, fearing I'd miss a call from the hospital. Avanelle and I took turns sleeping on a pallet on the dining room floor to be near the phone during the crisis episodes....the days waiting to find out if he'd live....and then the days following the graft surgery.
Believe me, I spent hours on my knees imploring God to let Buddy keep his arm..then to let him live. God, once again, proved faithful and Buddy came home nearly good as new....with a great big scar on his arm and thigh!
One thing stands out in my mind about Buddy's hospital stay. I was there one afternoon when they had to clean his arm. The nurse said it was very painful for him and would be helpful if I could hold him while she cleaned the sore. Bravely, I sat on the bed with Buddy in my arms...cuddling and kissing on him while she removed the bandage. He was screaming. I was crying. Then, I took one look at that open hole...and fainted dead away!! It was only the second time in my life I had fainted...and the other time was when Buddy was just a year old and had to get stitches in his face....where he had hit the back of the car seat on a sudden stop when another car ran a red light. He hit the seat hard enough it broke a spring...that split his cheek from his chin up to his eye socket...and then from his eyebrow to his hairline.
Anyway....the nurse called another nurse in to help her ...I was only out momentarily...and managed to again hold Buddy in my lap....being especially careful to keep my eyes everted from his arm! From then on, they never cleaned the sore when I was there.
I had an hour for lunch, and got in the habit of running home at lunch time...it was just five minutes from my office. One day...a Thursday...Avanelle and I were sitting in the kitchen eating lunch when we heard a blood-curdling scream from Buddy. We both ran...and found him dangling in the wringer washing machine with his arm through the wringer upto his shoulder. I quickly unplugged the wringer...and Avanelle...with unusual super-human strength, pulled the wringers apart while I pulled his arm out. I rushed him to the ER. The doctors said it appeared to just be badly bruised.
When I went home for lunch the next day, Buddy complained about his arm hurting...but seemed ok. About 3, Avanelle called me at work and said he was running a high temperature. I called our doctor and he said to take him to the ER right away. Which I did...and he was admitted to the hospital with an infection in his arm.
On Saturday, the specialist my doctor had called in....told me he was in critical condition and most likely would lose his arm. He ...the specialist...talked to me several times that day, and had me sign forms for amputation. Then, the hospital said, since Mark and I were still married, they could not perform the surgery without his father's signature, also. I had tried to call Mark already without success. The hospital called the Red Cross and they, too were unable to get hold of him. In the meantime, the doctors were saying if they didn't amputate by Monday, it would be too late and Buddy probably would not make it. I was frantic. I didn't want him to lose his arm...but I sure didn't want him to die. The choice was easy.
Finally, early Sunday morning I got hold of the duty officer at Mark's base in California who happened to be a friend of Mark's. When I asked how I could get hold of Mark, he said Mark lived off base with his wife...and they were in Mexico for the weekend. I went berserk! I said I didn't know who he was living with....and didn't care...but I was his wife, living in Michigan...and had an emergency with his son. I demanded to speak with his Commander...but the duty officer wouldn't put me through, saying he'd take care of it...but he knew there was nothing they could do until Mark got home from Mexico late Sunday night.
Mark didn't get home from Mexico until late Monday Night....and contacted the Red Cross who had left messages for him. He did sign the papers and the red cross called the hospital. But, by then the crisis had passed. For a few days, it was touch and go as to whether Buddy would live or not. He had blood poisoning...but Thank God, he made it through. The skin...clear down to the bone, died in about a four inch square on his upper arm and the doctors took skin from his thigh and grafted it onto his arm. He was in the hospital a month.
I had a problem with the hospital. Back then, they thought parents were a nuisance. We had to observe visiting hours. I could go up at lunch time and feed Buddy...who was just four years old...and then go back from 5 to 8. Even when he was the sickest, in Intensive care...I couldn't stay with him. It was frustrating. The only phone we had was in the dining room....and on a short cord. I was afraid to go to bed, fearing I'd miss a call from the hospital. Avanelle and I took turns sleeping on a pallet on the dining room floor to be near the phone during the crisis episodes....the days waiting to find out if he'd live....and then the days following the graft surgery.
Believe me, I spent hours on my knees imploring God to let Buddy keep his arm..then to let him live. God, once again, proved faithful and Buddy came home nearly good as new....with a great big scar on his arm and thigh!
One thing stands out in my mind about Buddy's hospital stay. I was there one afternoon when they had to clean his arm. The nurse said it was very painful for him and would be helpful if I could hold him while she cleaned the sore. Bravely, I sat on the bed with Buddy in my arms...cuddling and kissing on him while she removed the bandage. He was screaming. I was crying. Then, I took one look at that open hole...and fainted dead away!! It was only the second time in my life I had fainted...and the other time was when Buddy was just a year old and had to get stitches in his face....where he had hit the back of the car seat on a sudden stop when another car ran a red light. He hit the seat hard enough it broke a spring...that split his cheek from his chin up to his eye socket...and then from his eyebrow to his hairline.
Anyway....the nurse called another nurse in to help her ...I was only out momentarily...and managed to again hold Buddy in my lap....being especially careful to keep my eyes everted from his arm! From then on, they never cleaned the sore when I was there.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 2
Margaret Tammy..age oneToday, I'm going to backtrack a couple of years....back to my life in Battle Creek, Michigan and the first time I found myself on my knees, asking my Lords' help with a situation I could not handle by myself.
Without going into detail, I found myself a single...separated...mother of two babies. Tammy was two and Buddy was one. Mark was in Labrador and his family was in Grand Rapids, while mine was in Ypsilanti/Belleville. I was totally alone. When he left, we made the decision I would remain in Battle Creek because I had a good job with an insurance adjusting firm. But shortly after he left I began hearing tales of his infidelities and had to deal with that heartbreak. During that winter, from October to March, Tammy was in the hospital three times with pneumonia/bronchitis and Buddy once.
I had a live-in baby-sitter. A sixteen year old girl whom I took in after her parents kicked her out of their home for delinquency. In April, Alice got married and I had to find another baby-sitter. Answering an ad in the paper, I met a girl my age when we were both checking out the same baby-sitter...and both chose her. It was perfect for my kids...a small farm, a stay-at-home mom with two small kids of her own, just on the northern edge of Battle Creek.
Jane, the other gal I met and I became friendly. One thing led to another and we decided to move in together and share expenses. We rented a big three bedroom apartment. I had no furniture of my own except cribs for Tammy and Buddy. Jane was living with her parents...so they furnished the apartment for us. I paid the first month's rent and Jane paid the required one month's deposit.
For two months everything was great. Jane and I were very compatible. She had one child, a little boy about 9 months old. She worked at a local restaurant and had varying shifts....most days a split shift. When she worked evenings and weekends, I kept Robby for her. It was no hardship...he was a sweet baby whom I quickly came to love.
Then, one day a visit from her ex-husband made everything come crashing down. He showed up on a Saturday, while Jane was working. Now, she had warned me that he was not allowed to see the baby and to never let him in the house. But, this day I was in the bathroom when he knocked on the door and Tammy opened the door and let him in. I demanded he leave....when he told me I was a fool. He had legal papers with him...showing Jane had been served with child custody papers. His story was that he was trying to get custody of Robby because Jane was unfit. He said she was a prostitute and the nights and weekends she was supposedly working at a restaurant she was instead plying her other trade....a high-priced call girl. He further said I would be subpoenaed as witness....as to hours Jane actually spent with Robby.
When Jane came home, I confronted her. She admitted everything. I told her that I couldn't take a chance with my babies and would find another place to live the first of the month. She was very nice about it, very apologetic about misleading me.
The following week, I saw very little of Jane, a few minutes here and there. Then on Saturday, I went to work, for four hours, as usual, dropping Tammy and Buddy off at the baby-sitters. At ten a.m. I got a call from the child welfare office...telling me they wanted my children. Panic-stricken, I asked why...and the social worked told me she had visited my apartment that morning, and I could not keep two kids living in a vacant apartment. I explained it was not vacant when I left for work that morning...and she snottily said..well, it is now! I immediately told my boss I had an emergency and had to leave.
I went to the apartment...and the social worker was right. Jane had moved out...taking everything except my cribs and our clothes, which were thrown all over the floors of mine and their bedrooms. She even took the refrigerator for which I had paid half. I sat down in the middle of that vacant place and cried. Scared to death. I could not lose my babies. They were my life.
After I pulled myself together, I went out to the farm and picked up Tammy and Buddy. Because I had a good relationship with my mother-in-law, that was where I went. Grand Rapids was only an hour away and I was sure Margaret would help me.
When I got there and explained the problem, Margaret was very sympathetic as I knew she would be. But, Aaron, her husband, was a different. I asked them to keep the babies for two weeks...when I would have enough money saved to rent another apartment for us. At first, Margaret said ...great, she'd love having them. Then, Aaron, who Mark had always said was a mean drunk...had other ideas. He told me they'd be happy to keep the kids....forever! If I left them for two weeks, he'd go to court and get custody of them!
Completely devastated, I put Tammy and Buddy in the car. Margaret was crying. So was Susan, Mark's sister....and me and the kids. Margaret kept saying she was sorry but had to do what Aaron wanted. I hugged her and said I understood...but my kids would never again be in her house. That was the last time we ever saw her.
Leaving there, I had no choice but to go home...to my parents. So, I drove to Sumpter...and to my surprise, mom and dad had moved and I didn't know where. I went to Aunt Susies and she said they had moved to Indiana two weeks ago. The kids and I stayed with Aunt Susie that night...but it was obvious we couldn't stay there. They had a small three bedroom home with five kids. Saturday night, not being able to sleep, I got up and went outside. Sitting on the steps, I prayed.
Lord, I said, I know I haven't been a very good Christian, but I know you love me and my kids. Father, I have nobody else. I need a place for us to live and a job so I can support us. I'm asking for your help and trusting you.
There was more, because I spent a good hour there praying and crying. The next morning, Aunt Susie said Mom and Dad may have paid rent for the month and had not taken everything from the house. So, I decided to check it out and see if the kids and could live in their old house for a couple of weeks. Mom and Dad had left an old coal burning stove in the kitchen and a couple of old mattresses and bedsprings. The place was desolate...but I thought, it might do for a couple of weeks...at least we'd be warm and dry.
I left to go see the landlord. On the way, I stopped at my friends, Nick and Helen. Helen had been my best friend when I lived in Sumpter. After hearing my tale of woe, they invited me and the kids to live with them until I could get back on my feet! Talk about an answer to a prayer!
Nick even took his pick-up to Battle Creek and picked up my cribs and belongings.
During the two weeks we stayed with them, I found a job working for a real estate office in Ypsilanti. The first of the month, when I got my allotment check, I rented the same apartment Mark and I had started our married life in...where we lived when Tammy was born. I have always been eternally grateful to Nick and Helen. I think they, literally, saved our lives. Had we moved into that old house, who knows what would have happened to us.
to be continued.
Without going into detail, I found myself a single...separated...mother of two babies. Tammy was two and Buddy was one. Mark was in Labrador and his family was in Grand Rapids, while mine was in Ypsilanti/Belleville. I was totally alone. When he left, we made the decision I would remain in Battle Creek because I had a good job with an insurance adjusting firm. But shortly after he left I began hearing tales of his infidelities and had to deal with that heartbreak. During that winter, from October to March, Tammy was in the hospital three times with pneumonia/bronchitis and Buddy once.
I had a live-in baby-sitter. A sixteen year old girl whom I took in after her parents kicked her out of their home for delinquency. In April, Alice got married and I had to find another baby-sitter. Answering an ad in the paper, I met a girl my age when we were both checking out the same baby-sitter...and both chose her. It was perfect for my kids...a small farm, a stay-at-home mom with two small kids of her own, just on the northern edge of Battle Creek.
Jane, the other gal I met and I became friendly. One thing led to another and we decided to move in together and share expenses. We rented a big three bedroom apartment. I had no furniture of my own except cribs for Tammy and Buddy. Jane was living with her parents...so they furnished the apartment for us. I paid the first month's rent and Jane paid the required one month's deposit.
For two months everything was great. Jane and I were very compatible. She had one child, a little boy about 9 months old. She worked at a local restaurant and had varying shifts....most days a split shift. When she worked evenings and weekends, I kept Robby for her. It was no hardship...he was a sweet baby whom I quickly came to love.
Then, one day a visit from her ex-husband made everything come crashing down. He showed up on a Saturday, while Jane was working. Now, she had warned me that he was not allowed to see the baby and to never let him in the house. But, this day I was in the bathroom when he knocked on the door and Tammy opened the door and let him in. I demanded he leave....when he told me I was a fool. He had legal papers with him...showing Jane had been served with child custody papers. His story was that he was trying to get custody of Robby because Jane was unfit. He said she was a prostitute and the nights and weekends she was supposedly working at a restaurant she was instead plying her other trade....a high-priced call girl. He further said I would be subpoenaed as witness....as to hours Jane actually spent with Robby.
When Jane came home, I confronted her. She admitted everything. I told her that I couldn't take a chance with my babies and would find another place to live the first of the month. She was very nice about it, very apologetic about misleading me.
The following week, I saw very little of Jane, a few minutes here and there. Then on Saturday, I went to work, for four hours, as usual, dropping Tammy and Buddy off at the baby-sitters. At ten a.m. I got a call from the child welfare office...telling me they wanted my children. Panic-stricken, I asked why...and the social worked told me she had visited my apartment that morning, and I could not keep two kids living in a vacant apartment. I explained it was not vacant when I left for work that morning...and she snottily said..well, it is now! I immediately told my boss I had an emergency and had to leave.
I went to the apartment...and the social worker was right. Jane had moved out...taking everything except my cribs and our clothes, which were thrown all over the floors of mine and their bedrooms. She even took the refrigerator for which I had paid half. I sat down in the middle of that vacant place and cried. Scared to death. I could not lose my babies. They were my life.
After I pulled myself together, I went out to the farm and picked up Tammy and Buddy. Because I had a good relationship with my mother-in-law, that was where I went. Grand Rapids was only an hour away and I was sure Margaret would help me.
When I got there and explained the problem, Margaret was very sympathetic as I knew she would be. But, Aaron, her husband, was a different. I asked them to keep the babies for two weeks...when I would have enough money saved to rent another apartment for us. At first, Margaret said ...great, she'd love having them. Then, Aaron, who Mark had always said was a mean drunk...had other ideas. He told me they'd be happy to keep the kids....forever! If I left them for two weeks, he'd go to court and get custody of them!
Completely devastated, I put Tammy and Buddy in the car. Margaret was crying. So was Susan, Mark's sister....and me and the kids. Margaret kept saying she was sorry but had to do what Aaron wanted. I hugged her and said I understood...but my kids would never again be in her house. That was the last time we ever saw her.
Leaving there, I had no choice but to go home...to my parents. So, I drove to Sumpter...and to my surprise, mom and dad had moved and I didn't know where. I went to Aunt Susies and she said they had moved to Indiana two weeks ago. The kids and I stayed with Aunt Susie that night...but it was obvious we couldn't stay there. They had a small three bedroom home with five kids. Saturday night, not being able to sleep, I got up and went outside. Sitting on the steps, I prayed.
Lord, I said, I know I haven't been a very good Christian, but I know you love me and my kids. Father, I have nobody else. I need a place for us to live and a job so I can support us. I'm asking for your help and trusting you.
There was more, because I spent a good hour there praying and crying. The next morning, Aunt Susie said Mom and Dad may have paid rent for the month and had not taken everything from the house. So, I decided to check it out and see if the kids and could live in their old house for a couple of weeks. Mom and Dad had left an old coal burning stove in the kitchen and a couple of old mattresses and bedsprings. The place was desolate...but I thought, it might do for a couple of weeks...at least we'd be warm and dry.
I left to go see the landlord. On the way, I stopped at my friends, Nick and Helen. Helen had been my best friend when I lived in Sumpter. After hearing my tale of woe, they invited me and the kids to live with them until I could get back on my feet! Talk about an answer to a prayer!
Nick even took his pick-up to Battle Creek and picked up my cribs and belongings.
During the two weeks we stayed with them, I found a job working for a real estate office in Ypsilanti. The first of the month, when I got my allotment check, I rented the same apartment Mark and I had started our married life in...where we lived when Tammy was born. I have always been eternally grateful to Nick and Helen. I think they, literally, saved our lives. Had we moved into that old house, who knows what would have happened to us.
to be continued.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN
My son wrote a loving tribute to me on my 70th birthday. It got me to thinking and remembering those child-rearing years. Like all mothers, I made some mistakes...I wasn't a perfect mother. But, I wanted to be..and did try to be. My older two were only 10 months apart and kept me hopping. I was a single mother to them for most of their childhood and we had a lot of financial difficulties. Usually, by Thursday, my cupboards were, literally, bare. WE had a standing invitation for supper at my Aunt Susie's anytime I wanted to go...and I took advantage of that most Thursdays!
I worked in an office from 8 to 5...and was usually home by 5:30 when I'd rush around getting a meal on the table for us. We ate a lot of hot dogs and vegetable soup and mac and cheese. Supper was usually over by 6...and that was my time with my kids. For two hours, I concentrated on them, playing, cuddling, talking about their day with the baby sitter or school. After they were in bed at 8, I did the dishes, ironing, or whatever needed doing,..then reading or watching TV... getting in bed myself sometime between 11 and midnight.
For a few years, my weekly take home pay was $40. Out of that, I paid $15 rent, $15 baby-sitter...and the other $10 had to cover everything else...food, clothes, laundry, gas, medical, etc. my ex was in the Air Force, so I did get an allotment for child support...$80 month...which went for car payments. Our entertainment was cheap...usually visiting family and in the summer, taking a car full of kids...mine and cousins...to drive-in movies.
When the kids were 3 and 4, I bought a house on a land contract. My boss gave me a bonus one year of $100 and I used it for a down payment. I was so proud of that house! It was a little story and a half white frame with aluminum siding, two bedrooms upstairs, living room, dining room, kitchen and bath plus a small den off the living room downstairs, a little sitting front porch and a decent size yard. my payments were $80 month and since I'd gotten a $10.00 weekly raise, I could just barely afford the payments and utilities. My uncle went to auction sales and found furniture for us. We lived there for 18 months...and I got an eviction notice, suddenly! Seems the people I was buying it from had a mortgage on it and were not making their payments so the bank foreclosed on them.
I was heart-broken! Of course, the bank offered me a chance to buy it from them, but I couldn't raise the money they required down. With no money for a deposit plus first weeks or months rent, I was scared. I didn't know what I was going to do. One night, I went into Tammy and Buddy's bedroom after they were sleeping, and climbed into bed between them, cudding each up against me. I laid there and prayed and cried as despair filled my soul. "Lord, I need your help. I'm at my wit's end, here. We have to be out of this house in two more days and I don't have any where for us to live, nor any money to rent a place for at least another month. What can I do, Lord, to provide a home for these two kids that You have given me? I'm placing our lives in Your hands, Father. I've done everything, looked everywhere, talked to everybody, that I can think of and haven't been able to find us a place to live."
The very next day, my cousin Avanelle, called me. At that time, the kids stayed with a baby-sitter across the street from her...and we had gotten into a habit of stopping by her house for a few minutes every few days when I'd pick them up. Anyway...she called and said she had talked to her landlord and he had said it would be okay with him if I moved in with her and shared the expenses. We had discussed this back when I first got the eviction notice, but because she was a single mother with three children of her own, not working, and on welfare, she was afraid of what would happen to her benefits if I lived with her. But, that day she said she had also called her social worker and got the okay from her. Since welfare had been paying her rent anyway...they would just cut their payment in half.
Talk about a load being lifted off my shoulders! All I could do was say, Thank you, Lord! He had come through in my darkest hour. And...thank you, Avanelle!
to be continued.
I worked in an office from 8 to 5...and was usually home by 5:30 when I'd rush around getting a meal on the table for us. We ate a lot of hot dogs and vegetable soup and mac and cheese. Supper was usually over by 6...and that was my time with my kids. For two hours, I concentrated on them, playing, cuddling, talking about their day with the baby sitter or school. After they were in bed at 8, I did the dishes, ironing, or whatever needed doing,..then reading or watching TV... getting in bed myself sometime between 11 and midnight.
For a few years, my weekly take home pay was $40. Out of that, I paid $15 rent, $15 baby-sitter...and the other $10 had to cover everything else...food, clothes, laundry, gas, medical, etc. my ex was in the Air Force, so I did get an allotment for child support...$80 month...which went for car payments. Our entertainment was cheap...usually visiting family and in the summer, taking a car full of kids...mine and cousins...to drive-in movies.
When the kids were 3 and 4, I bought a house on a land contract. My boss gave me a bonus one year of $100 and I used it for a down payment. I was so proud of that house! It was a little story and a half white frame with aluminum siding, two bedrooms upstairs, living room, dining room, kitchen and bath plus a small den off the living room downstairs, a little sitting front porch and a decent size yard. my payments were $80 month and since I'd gotten a $10.00 weekly raise, I could just barely afford the payments and utilities. My uncle went to auction sales and found furniture for us. We lived there for 18 months...and I got an eviction notice, suddenly! Seems the people I was buying it from had a mortgage on it and were not making their payments so the bank foreclosed on them.
I was heart-broken! Of course, the bank offered me a chance to buy it from them, but I couldn't raise the money they required down. With no money for a deposit plus first weeks or months rent, I was scared. I didn't know what I was going to do. One night, I went into Tammy and Buddy's bedroom after they were sleeping, and climbed into bed between them, cudding each up against me. I laid there and prayed and cried as despair filled my soul. "Lord, I need your help. I'm at my wit's end, here. We have to be out of this house in two more days and I don't have any where for us to live, nor any money to rent a place for at least another month. What can I do, Lord, to provide a home for these two kids that You have given me? I'm placing our lives in Your hands, Father. I've done everything, looked everywhere, talked to everybody, that I can think of and haven't been able to find us a place to live."
The very next day, my cousin Avanelle, called me. At that time, the kids stayed with a baby-sitter across the street from her...and we had gotten into a habit of stopping by her house for a few minutes every few days when I'd pick them up. Anyway...she called and said she had talked to her landlord and he had said it would be okay with him if I moved in with her and shared the expenses. We had discussed this back when I first got the eviction notice, but because she was a single mother with three children of her own, not working, and on welfare, she was afraid of what would happen to her benefits if I lived with her. But, that day she said she had also called her social worker and got the okay from her. Since welfare had been paying her rent anyway...they would just cut their payment in half.
Talk about a load being lifted off my shoulders! All I could do was say, Thank you, Lord! He had come through in my darkest hour. And...thank you, Avanelle!
to be continued.
Monday, May 25, 2009
ANOTHER DAY
Well, my 70th birthday day is nearly over...bedtime for me. It was a good day....had phone calls from my three wonderful kids and some of my lovely grandkids. Plus a sweet, loving tribute from Joey on his blog (the6bennetts.blogspot.com)
My son, Buddy, gave me a Smartphone cellphone which I have had fun today figuring out how to work. He put me on his family plan and he and Joey, my youngest, are going to share the costs...Thanks Boys!
Now, let me ramble a little bit.
As a child in Kentucky I went to church every Sunday with my grandmother (Granny)whom I adored. My parents seldom went on Sundays...but we always, as a family, attended tent meetings...church revivals held by visiting evangelists in a tent. The Sunday dinner, held the last day of the revivals was the best part for me.
After we moved to Michigan when I was 13, I still took my brothers and sisters to church every Sunday. In Romulus, we rode a church bus from our project on Middlebelt Rd. into Wayne. It was there that I accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was fourteen. My cousin, Phyllis was my constant church companion both in KY and Romulus. Phyllis could never sit through an alter call. As soon as the Invitational hymn started, with tears streaming down her face, she was at the alter. Not me...I was taking Jesus at his word. Once was all I needed.
Then in Belleville, we walked the two miles each way. Many Sundays my siblings refused to go if the weather was bad...but I seldom missed, along with my best friend, Helen. Helen had a younger sister who could sing like an angel and the pastor wanted her to sing every Sunday. She was so shy, the only way she'd sing was for me and Helen to sing with her. Now I'm the worst singer...I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Helen was fair. But Ruby's voice soared. So all I had to do was mouth the words...and the church thought I was a good singer. Ha ha.
As I was raising...(or rearing to be correct) my three children, I was a sporadic church-goer. In Michigan, I would often take Tammy and Buddy to my grandmother's church. Then when I married Joe Wussles, I joined the Serbian Orthodox Church and for a few years, we never missed a Sunday service.
I divorced, remarried, and moved to Bremen, Indiana. ~There my husband Steve and I started going to Community Gospel Church. Again, for a few years I seldom missed a service or bible study...often holding the bible studies at our home. Then I opened a restaurant, and the church had problems...our Pastor, whom I loved, left. After Pastor Bob left, I never again attended Community Gospel ...and have been a sporadic church goer ever since. I did find a church here in Fort Wayne and a pastor I loved. Again, the pastor quit. I still attended most Sundays...until my health became a problem....my coughing was embarrassing and since our church is so small, it disrupts the service. I still go there occasionally...when my coughing is under control.
I believe every family should go to church. I believe every child should be raised in the Church and taught about our Lord. I believe in my salvation. I KNOW that, like Paul, to depart this body is to be with the Lord.
All parents should encourage their children to take part in after-school activities...sports, music, drama, something...that builds character and self-confidence and teaches them commitment. I also believe all children should attend Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. That not only teaches them about the Bible in a fun way, but also teaches them values and gives them a sound foundation for the rest of their lives.
My son, Buddy, gave me a Smartphone cellphone which I have had fun today figuring out how to work. He put me on his family plan and he and Joey, my youngest, are going to share the costs...Thanks Boys!
Now, let me ramble a little bit.
As a child in Kentucky I went to church every Sunday with my grandmother (Granny)whom I adored. My parents seldom went on Sundays...but we always, as a family, attended tent meetings...church revivals held by visiting evangelists in a tent. The Sunday dinner, held the last day of the revivals was the best part for me.
After we moved to Michigan when I was 13, I still took my brothers and sisters to church every Sunday. In Romulus, we rode a church bus from our project on Middlebelt Rd. into Wayne. It was there that I accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was fourteen. My cousin, Phyllis was my constant church companion both in KY and Romulus. Phyllis could never sit through an alter call. As soon as the Invitational hymn started, with tears streaming down her face, she was at the alter. Not me...I was taking Jesus at his word. Once was all I needed.
Then in Belleville, we walked the two miles each way. Many Sundays my siblings refused to go if the weather was bad...but I seldom missed, along with my best friend, Helen. Helen had a younger sister who could sing like an angel and the pastor wanted her to sing every Sunday. She was so shy, the only way she'd sing was for me and Helen to sing with her. Now I'm the worst singer...I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Helen was fair. But Ruby's voice soared. So all I had to do was mouth the words...and the church thought I was a good singer. Ha ha.
As I was raising...(or rearing to be correct) my three children, I was a sporadic church-goer. In Michigan, I would often take Tammy and Buddy to my grandmother's church. Then when I married Joe Wussles, I joined the Serbian Orthodox Church and for a few years, we never missed a Sunday service.
I divorced, remarried, and moved to Bremen, Indiana. ~There my husband Steve and I started going to Community Gospel Church. Again, for a few years I seldom missed a service or bible study...often holding the bible studies at our home. Then I opened a restaurant, and the church had problems...our Pastor, whom I loved, left. After Pastor Bob left, I never again attended Community Gospel ...and have been a sporadic church goer ever since. I did find a church here in Fort Wayne and a pastor I loved. Again, the pastor quit. I still attended most Sundays...until my health became a problem....my coughing was embarrassing and since our church is so small, it disrupts the service. I still go there occasionally...when my coughing is under control.
I believe every family should go to church. I believe every child should be raised in the Church and taught about our Lord. I believe in my salvation. I KNOW that, like Paul, to depart this body is to be with the Lord.
All parents should encourage their children to take part in after-school activities...sports, music, drama, something...that builds character and self-confidence and teaches them commitment. I also believe all children should attend Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. That not only teaches them about the Bible in a fun way, but also teaches them values and gives them a sound foundation for the rest of their lives.
SEVEN-O
It's after midnite...so I'm officially 70 years old. Actually, I was born about three in the afternoon onthe 25th.
My children and grandchildren have feted, gifted and loved me. I am so blessed!
A few random thoughts. I supposed some people would think it strange...odd...that I could be so happy on my 70 th birthday...doesn't that make me officially old? Well, let me tell you...not many people in my lineage have lived to see 70. My family has not been known for longevity. On my Shepherd side, I think Uncle Troy, who was 78 when he died, was the oldest. His father, brothers, sister, grandfather, for several generations back, all died in their 60's. On Granny's side...Fitchpatrick...Granny lived to be very nearly 82. She died just a month before her birthday. She had one sister, Dora, who lived to be 90...all the rest of her family died in their 50's and 60's. Dad was 67, Mom was 69 just six weeks before she died. Oh, there was one other person...Grand daddy's sister, my great aunt Polly...lived to be 90 something.
As I look at this...and recall all those I knew who died younger than 70...I think the Lord for allowing me reach this great age. With granny living to 82, Mom to 69, me to 70 plus...and my birth father lived to 84....there's hope for longevity for my children and grandchildren...so I'm celebrating!
Now I just have to find someone to plant all these flowers for me! I absolutely love flowers...and the perennials will be here to enjoy for many years, if I can get them in the ground.
My children and grandchildren have feted, gifted and loved me. I am so blessed!
A few random thoughts. I supposed some people would think it strange...odd...that I could be so happy on my 70 th birthday...doesn't that make me officially old? Well, let me tell you...not many people in my lineage have lived to see 70. My family has not been known for longevity. On my Shepherd side, I think Uncle Troy, who was 78 when he died, was the oldest. His father, brothers, sister, grandfather, for several generations back, all died in their 60's. On Granny's side...Fitchpatrick...Granny lived to be very nearly 82. She died just a month before her birthday. She had one sister, Dora, who lived to be 90...all the rest of her family died in their 50's and 60's. Dad was 67, Mom was 69 just six weeks before she died. Oh, there was one other person...Grand daddy's sister, my great aunt Polly...lived to be 90 something.
As I look at this...and recall all those I knew who died younger than 70...I think the Lord for allowing me reach this great age. With granny living to 82, Mom to 69, me to 70 plus...and my birth father lived to 84....there's hope for longevity for my children and grandchildren...so I'm celebrating!
Now I just have to find someone to plant all these flowers for me! I absolutely love flowers...and the perennials will be here to enjoy for many years, if I can get them in the ground.
Friday, May 22, 2009
TAMMY
Tammy had appointment with the ENT...Ear, Nose, Throat...specialist today. He said he doesn't think it looks bad, but is sending her to Indy for a "fibro-optic" test on her throat. fibro-optic...that's what she said. He further said it is entirely possible that her throat problem is caused by her stomach...and suggested she make appointment with her gastrologist. She laughed and said everytime something is wrong, the doctor blames it on her stomach....which nobody will try to fix. We all feel better and are more confident that the test will be negative. After all, I'm sure this doctor sees enough bad ones to recognize it when he sees it. Praise God...and thank you all for your prayers.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
GEORGE
The bad news just keeps coming! George, Joe's brother, went to his eye doctor on Friday. There's something more wrong with his left eye and he has to go see another specialist in Indianapolis. I didn't go with him...and he didn't understand just what the problem is with his eye. The doctor he will see specializes in corneal transplants. Also, lasek surgery. So I have no idea what the problem is...just that it's serious. We're waiting for this doctor here to call us with an appt. for the Indy doc. So, please add George to your prayer lists. He has been having problems with his eyes for five years now. In 2004, he had three surgeries for detached retina...two of them on that left eye. Then a year later, he had cataract surgery on both eyes. Since then he's suffered from dry eyes and has to use drops and ointments in both eyes. Also, pressure has been high all this time. It has been a miracle that his sight has been saved this long.
Bad eyes run in his family. His mother had been blind for some time when she died at 63. He has a first cousin on his dad's side who has been blind since she was around 65...about ten years. Joe had cataract surgery on both his eyes about 1985, and no problems since. Praise God!
Bad eyes run in his family. His mother had been blind for some time when she died at 63. He has a first cousin on his dad's side who has been blind since she was around 65...about ten years. Joe had cataract surgery on both his eyes about 1985, and no problems since. Praise God!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
GOOD VISIT
Thursday Tammy and I went to Indy to pick up stock at a couple of distributor warehouses. We stopped by Joe and Tia's ...and Leann was there! What a treat...getting to see her as well as Joe's family! Tammy and I had Kadyn with us. That little two-year-old thought he'd died and gone to heaven with all the swings, slide, cars and little house, not to mention the kids, to play with. Bennetts gave him a race car set that thrilled him to death. He had to hold the cars on the way home.
I worked our shop at the flea market today. Talk about dead! I may have talked to five people who weren't other vendors. I did manage to sell 2 crystal tennis bracelets and an aquarium motion lamp.
Tammy needs prayers. She has an appointment next Friday with an ENT...Ear, nose and throat specialist to check out lumps in her throat
Also, Joe and I could use your prayers too as age is slowing us down. Joe is having balance and walking problems and my back and hips ...as well as my lung disease...keep me down most of the time.
I worked our shop at the flea market today. Talk about dead! I may have talked to five people who weren't other vendors. I did manage to sell 2 crystal tennis bracelets and an aquarium motion lamp.
Tammy needs prayers. She has an appointment next Friday with an ENT...Ear, nose and throat specialist to check out lumps in her throat
Also, Joe and I could use your prayers too as age is slowing us down. Joe is having balance and walking problems and my back and hips ...as well as my lung disease...keep me down most of the time.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
MOM
My mother has been gone since Oct. 21, 1991...and I still miss her. What I'd give to pick up the phone and call her and talk to about Kadyn, the flea market, Tammy's health, my pride in my boys and their families!
My mother was a complicated woman. She was a better mother to us when we became adults than when we were children. There was just so many of us! When I was very little, living in Kentucky, Mom worked very hard. She and Dad raised a big garden every summer, then she canned most of our food for the winter...beans, corn, tomatoes, pickles. They always raised lots of green beans and besides canning them, Mom dried them (on strings for what we called shuck beans), pickled some and cooked them every day when they were ripe, usually with little home grown potatoes.
Since we didn't have electricity, Mom washed clothes on a wash board...after carrying and heating tubs full of water. One of my first chores was scrubbing socks on the washboard. She spent a lot of hours during the day just cooking on the coal cookstove...building a fire in it first thing each morning and keeping it hot all day....irregardless of the outside temperature! Breakfast was usually eggs, gravy and biscuits...and the eggs were from the hens mom raised and tended to. Supper was usually a pot of beans...either pinto beans or green beans and cornbread. Lunch at home was usually fried potatoes and cornbread. School lunches were usually peanut butter spread on biscuits. The biscuits were cut in half and spread with the peanut butter...sometimes with potted meat. Sometimes just jelly that mom made herself.
Every wash day Mom would take the bleach water and scrub all the floors with it. We had wood plank floors that were white when she scrubbed them...from all the bleach water that had been used over the years. But...we had coal burning fireplaces for heat besides the coal cookstove...so the floors...nor anything else...stayed clean very long, from the smoke and soot.
With all the work Mom had to do, its amazing that she even had the time to bear nine babies! And she doted on each baby...until the next one came along. She loved us and we knew it...but she was not affectionate to us...after we stopped being the baby. She made sure we were always clean, fed and polite. Mom was big on manners. Please and Thank yous were an important part of our vocabulary taught as soon as we could string words together.
Mom hated for us kids to fight and squabble with each other...and many times we wore the switch stripes to prove it! She often said friends would come and go...but our brothers and sisters were ours all our lives.
We were poor and never had many, if any, luxuries...but Mom shared whatever we had with people....friends, strangers and relatives...who had less. Many times I've seen her pack a box with fresh vegetables from the garden or jars of her canned vegetables, paper bags of sugar, flour and cornmeal and she and Daddy would carry it several miles to my grandparents, uncles and aunts...or the family down the road who she knew didn't have any money.
After we moved from Kentucky to Michigan, Mom had all the luxuries she had never even dreamed of. Electricity. Hot and cold running water. Inside plumbing. Electric cookstove. Wringer washing machine. Refrigerator. And, since most of the work she had always done was not necessary now..like making all our clothes...she didn't do much of anything. During my teen years I can remember Mom only doing the cooking and laundry. Us kids did everything else. But still, Mom mothered us all. Still teaching us all she could. She took care of us when we were hurt or sick. She worried about us when we were out...not sleeping until she knew we were all home and safe again.
Mom always said she didn't care if we "liked" her or not. She didnt' try to be our friend...she was our mother who had to teach us right from wrong and keep us from making disastrous decisions...until we were able to leave home...then she trusted us to do the right thing. But, God help us if we were ever discourteous or sassy to daddy. Dad was the center of her world and we all knew it. Mom was the disciplinarian...always saying she didn't believe in waiting for Dad to come home to mete out punishment for misdeeds. Consequently, Dad seldom punished any of us...and we all worshipped him, just as Mom planned.
After I was grown, Mom became my best friend. I could and did call her nearly every day after I moved to Indiana. While I lived in Michigan, I never let more than two months go by without driving to Indiana to see her for a weekend. After my husband and kids, Mom was the most important person in my life. I couldn't imagine a life without her in it. And since she's been gone, there's been a hole in my life that nothing has been able to fill. I still look at Mother's Day cards and wish I could buy the biggest, prettiest, most sentimental one and give it to her.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!
My mother was a complicated woman. She was a better mother to us when we became adults than when we were children. There was just so many of us! When I was very little, living in Kentucky, Mom worked very hard. She and Dad raised a big garden every summer, then she canned most of our food for the winter...beans, corn, tomatoes, pickles. They always raised lots of green beans and besides canning them, Mom dried them (on strings for what we called shuck beans), pickled some and cooked them every day when they were ripe, usually with little home grown potatoes.
Since we didn't have electricity, Mom washed clothes on a wash board...after carrying and heating tubs full of water. One of my first chores was scrubbing socks on the washboard. She spent a lot of hours during the day just cooking on the coal cookstove...building a fire in it first thing each morning and keeping it hot all day....irregardless of the outside temperature! Breakfast was usually eggs, gravy and biscuits...and the eggs were from the hens mom raised and tended to. Supper was usually a pot of beans...either pinto beans or green beans and cornbread. Lunch at home was usually fried potatoes and cornbread. School lunches were usually peanut butter spread on biscuits. The biscuits were cut in half and spread with the peanut butter...sometimes with potted meat. Sometimes just jelly that mom made herself.
Every wash day Mom would take the bleach water and scrub all the floors with it. We had wood plank floors that were white when she scrubbed them...from all the bleach water that had been used over the years. But...we had coal burning fireplaces for heat besides the coal cookstove...so the floors...nor anything else...stayed clean very long, from the smoke and soot.
With all the work Mom had to do, its amazing that she even had the time to bear nine babies! And she doted on each baby...until the next one came along. She loved us and we knew it...but she was not affectionate to us...after we stopped being the baby. She made sure we were always clean, fed and polite. Mom was big on manners. Please and Thank yous were an important part of our vocabulary taught as soon as we could string words together.
Mom hated for us kids to fight and squabble with each other...and many times we wore the switch stripes to prove it! She often said friends would come and go...but our brothers and sisters were ours all our lives.
We were poor and never had many, if any, luxuries...but Mom shared whatever we had with people....friends, strangers and relatives...who had less. Many times I've seen her pack a box with fresh vegetables from the garden or jars of her canned vegetables, paper bags of sugar, flour and cornmeal and she and Daddy would carry it several miles to my grandparents, uncles and aunts...or the family down the road who she knew didn't have any money.
After we moved from Kentucky to Michigan, Mom had all the luxuries she had never even dreamed of. Electricity. Hot and cold running water. Inside plumbing. Electric cookstove. Wringer washing machine. Refrigerator. And, since most of the work she had always done was not necessary now..like making all our clothes...she didn't do much of anything. During my teen years I can remember Mom only doing the cooking and laundry. Us kids did everything else. But still, Mom mothered us all. Still teaching us all she could. She took care of us when we were hurt or sick. She worried about us when we were out...not sleeping until she knew we were all home and safe again.
Mom always said she didn't care if we "liked" her or not. She didnt' try to be our friend...she was our mother who had to teach us right from wrong and keep us from making disastrous decisions...until we were able to leave home...then she trusted us to do the right thing. But, God help us if we were ever discourteous or sassy to daddy. Dad was the center of her world and we all knew it. Mom was the disciplinarian...always saying she didn't believe in waiting for Dad to come home to mete out punishment for misdeeds. Consequently, Dad seldom punished any of us...and we all worshipped him, just as Mom planned.
After I was grown, Mom became my best friend. I could and did call her nearly every day after I moved to Indiana. While I lived in Michigan, I never let more than two months go by without driving to Indiana to see her for a weekend. After my husband and kids, Mom was the most important person in my life. I couldn't imagine a life without her in it. And since she's been gone, there's been a hole in my life that nothing has been able to fill. I still look at Mother's Day cards and wish I could buy the biggest, prettiest, most sentimental one and give it to her.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!
SORE HANDS
Okay, Tammy and I've come up with this new product to sell at our flea market store. We make necklaces out of little pieces of tootsie rolls...tie them together with yarn, a bow between each piece. I must have made 50 of them already and my blisters have blisters. We sell for for $1.00 each...20 pcs of candy in each necklace. The bags of candy have 360 pcs...cost about $5 per bag...so the profit is good if they prove to be as popular as we think they will.
We have added a lot of new stuff to our inventory. We have salt lamps, sequined newsboy hats, 22 inch vinyl dolls, and aquarium lights...in addition to our other stuff. The Sea Salt Crystals and electric oil warmer lights are still our biggest sellers. The beautiful dolls are selling too. In fact, we need to make another trip to Indy to buy more dolls. Our space keeps growing and filling up as we try to find just the right items to sell...you know, the things people just cant' live without and didnt realize it until they saw it.
Now, if the owners of the flea market would do a little more advertising and get more traffic thru the building, we might make a profit! So far, since January, it's been good enough that it is supporting itself, but all the money we take in has gone right back into buying more inventory.
We are carrying a lot of religious articles...signs, crystal paperweights, oil warmers, etc. and they sell pretty good. AT least they are conversation starters and give us the opportunity to share our faith with others.
Tammy is planning to go to Shipshewanna at least one week a month, perhaps more if she can. A couple of other vendors have offered to go in with her, sharing a booth, and helping her with the work. We're also planning to do the ThreeRivers Festival in July. Haven't decided yet whether we'll do the craft show there, as in years past, or get a booth in the vendors area. I have to do more research on this.
We have added a lot of new stuff to our inventory. We have salt lamps, sequined newsboy hats, 22 inch vinyl dolls, and aquarium lights...in addition to our other stuff. The Sea Salt Crystals and electric oil warmer lights are still our biggest sellers. The beautiful dolls are selling too. In fact, we need to make another trip to Indy to buy more dolls. Our space keeps growing and filling up as we try to find just the right items to sell...you know, the things people just cant' live without and didnt realize it until they saw it.
Now, if the owners of the flea market would do a little more advertising and get more traffic thru the building, we might make a profit! So far, since January, it's been good enough that it is supporting itself, but all the money we take in has gone right back into buying more inventory.
We are carrying a lot of religious articles...signs, crystal paperweights, oil warmers, etc. and they sell pretty good. AT least they are conversation starters and give us the opportunity to share our faith with others.
Tammy is planning to go to Shipshewanna at least one week a month, perhaps more if she can. A couple of other vendors have offered to go in with her, sharing a booth, and helping her with the work. We're also planning to do the ThreeRivers Festival in July. Haven't decided yet whether we'll do the craft show there, as in years past, or get a booth in the vendors area. I have to do more research on this.
BABYSITTER
I kept Kadyn today...from 9:30 til 3:30.....looooong day! But it was really good, too. He was such a joy...not perfect...but a perfect two-year-old. He played by himself a lot of the time, but still watched to make sure I was watching him! We watched a lot of cartoons...SpongeBob, Curious George, SpongeBob, Noddy, SpongeBob, Bob the Builder, SpongeBob, Backyardigans...and more SpongeBob. About 1:30, I started negotiating with him to take a nap. Every time I'd say he needed to nap, he'd run to the table and grab his plate (he was too busy playing to eat) and yell, I'm EATING! I finally talked him into laying on the couch and watching Spongebob...and he was asleep within five minutes. Slept until his mother came, about an hour and a half.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
DO THE MATH
As of May 25, I will have spent 25,550 days on this earth!
I have read AT LEAST 1,100 books...including the Bible.
I have washed a mininum of 1,100 loads of dishes.
I have visited 36 states...all the mainland except for northwest and northeast.
I have lived in 4 states.....Kentucky..13 years, Michigan...19 years, Indiana...25 years, Michigan again..7 years and now Indiana again...6 years. There was a brief three months in California.
I raised 3 children.
I have 9 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren.
I have been an orphan for 18 years...19, this October. I can't believe Mom's been gone that long!
I have six living siblings, 2 deceased siblings.
I have owned 13 cars...in my name.
I have been a computer addict for 17 years!
I have loved 3 men (not counting Dad and my sons) and been truly loved by 1 (Thank you, Lord, for Joe).
During my working live, I had 6 jobs. Legal secretary, Insurance secretary, Real estate secretary, Selling real estate, Holiday Rambler and Elkhart Door. Shortest one was 2 years, longest was 8 years (tie between real estate secretary and Holiday Rambler.)
I was 13 years old when I accepted Christ.
I reaffirmed my salvation when I was 34, and am still a work in progress.
I have cooked at least 36,500 meals.
Then longest trip I made, where I did all the driving was 2300 miles.
I know there's more numbers...but it's late and I can't think anymore.
I have read AT LEAST 1,100 books...including the Bible.
I have washed a mininum of 1,100 loads of dishes.
I have visited 36 states...all the mainland except for northwest and northeast.
I have lived in 4 states.....Kentucky..13 years, Michigan...19 years, Indiana...25 years, Michigan again..7 years and now Indiana again...6 years. There was a brief three months in California.
I raised 3 children.
I have 9 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren.
I have been an orphan for 18 years...19, this October. I can't believe Mom's been gone that long!
I have six living siblings, 2 deceased siblings.
I have owned 13 cars...in my name.
I have been a computer addict for 17 years!
I have loved 3 men (not counting Dad and my sons) and been truly loved by 1 (Thank you, Lord, for Joe).
During my working live, I had 6 jobs. Legal secretary, Insurance secretary, Real estate secretary, Selling real estate, Holiday Rambler and Elkhart Door. Shortest one was 2 years, longest was 8 years (tie between real estate secretary and Holiday Rambler.)
I was 13 years old when I accepted Christ.
I reaffirmed my salvation when I was 34, and am still a work in progress.
I have cooked at least 36,500 meals.
Then longest trip I made, where I did all the driving was 2300 miles.
I know there's more numbers...but it's late and I can't think anymore.
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