The weekend we went to Jackson to see the Cascades was the start of my two weeks vacation. On Sunday morning over breakfast Joe suggested we go to Niagara Falls. Talk about sponteneity...within two hours we were packed and on the road!
Driving through Canada, the trip only took about six hours. We got to the falls around five and checked into a motel just two miles from the falls. Of course, immediately after checking in, we headed for the falls. And I was blown away. Such power. Such magnificience! All I could think of was a partial bible verse..."What God has wrought!"
We stopped in a snack bar and ate supper then headed for the Wax Museum. Joe and Buddy liked the medieval torture chamber. Tammy liked the costumes from movie scenes. I liked the President exhibit. They were so life-like! Now, remember, it's late...near closing time and we were the only tourists in there. So....we were standing in front of the Lincoln exhibit...I don't even remember what the setting was...all I know, is out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move! And I screamed! I said...that's no statue, he moved. Joe laughed at me...and so did the kids. They finally convinced me it was animated...but I was still feeling unsettled and in a hurry to get out of there!
The next day, Monday, we spent the morning just walking around the falls then took a ride over to the locks...I don't remember the name...but it was interesting. We watched a big ship go from one lock to another. I don't know what that area is like today...I'm sure its changed...but back then, we were close enough to the ship to talk to the sailors on board. Nothing profound, just exchanged greetings and one of the sailors asked Buddy if he would like to be a sailor someday. Buddy said no way...that he wanted to fly planes! Tammy said she would like to and everybody laughed...to think of a girl on a ship!
After a late lunch, we went back to the falls and did all the touristy stuff...put on raincoats and hats and went through the tunnels that come out under the falls and got soaking wet in spite of the protective gear. After checking on the cost, we passed on riding the Maid of the Mist, a boat that went up to the falls.
We drove across the bridge into Buffalo, New York and parked by the river. We all walked on rocks strewn across the river, while I, with my heart in my throat, kept cautioning Tammy and Buddy to be careful. I had visions of one, or both, of them falling in the water and being washed downstream and over the falls. From where we were, it was just a very short distance to the falls. We could feel the spray and hear the roar.
Before we went back to the motel, we rode this ride...as one car went down this really steep hill, it pulled another car up. Again, I was scared to death! And Joe and the kids teased me unmercifully over it. When we got to the bottom, I refused to ride it back up...so we had a long uphill walk to our car.
We got up early the next morning, ate a hurried breakfast and made a last visit to the falls before starting out for home.
The Niagara Falls trip was so wonderful, I didn't think we could ever cap it. But, Wednesday morning, Joe said he had a surprise for us and wouldn't tell us what it was. We stopped by Avanelle's...Joe called Avanelle into the kitchen and let her in on the surprise. When we got ready to leave, Avanelle and her three kids climbed into the car with us! Well, I didn't know where we were going, but knew I'd enjoy whatever it was with Avanelle along. I loved her and loved doing anything with her.
Joe drove down the expressway towards Detroit and I got my first hint when he got off in Dearborn. We went to the Henry Ford Musum and Village. I had gone there once before, on an eighth grade field trip. This was so much better! We took our time wandering around the museum and I don't think we missed a thing. Then we walked through the Village, even took a carriage ride. By the time we got home, I was completely tuckered out...the kids were all asleep within five minutes after getting in the car. But it was a wonderful day. I was sure nothing would ever top it.
But...leave it to Joe. He was determined that this would be my best vacation ever...and the last week my kids would be home for six weeks. The next morning, Thursday, Joe again rushed us through breakfast and into the car. This time we drove out to Aunt Susie's and picked up Altie, Doris and Kay...and went to Boblo Island. We all loved the boat ride even more than the amusement park. On the way back, we decided Boblo Island would be an annual outing...and so it became. As long as I lived in Michigan, we went to Boblo at least once each summer.
Friday morning, I loaded down the trunk with enough clothes for me for a week and for Tammy and Buddy for six weeks. First, I took Joe home to Highland Park, then the kids and I stopped and picked up the girls, Altie and Doris, and went to Indiana.
After the hectic busy week I had just spent, the week of just laying around at Mom's was heaven! I missed Joe something terrible, but loved being with my family for a few days. Too soon it was time to kiss my kids goodbye and admonish them to behave for Grandma. All three of us were crying when I finally drove away. As I glanced in the rear view mirror, I saw Buddy...standing all alone..in the middle of the road, waving goodbye, crying his little heart out. That image of my sad little boy has haunted my dreams ever since.
Yet, I knew I was doing the right thing....and both Buddy and Tammy would be fine within an hour or so. They loved their grandparents and looked forward to these few weeks all year long.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 24
One Saturday while I was cleaning, Joe and the kids got into a water fight. It started outside...Joe sent Tammy upstairs to our apartment to get him a glass of ice water. She stumbled on the bottom step and the entire glass of water spilled on Joe. Naturally, he had to retaliate. Soon, instead of glasses of water, Buddy is carrying a pan full...sloshing it on my newly waxed floor!
Furious, I flounced (how do you flounce?) out the door and with my arms akimbo (another strange word), yelled at Joe, who ignored me. I figured they were laughing so loud, they couldn't hear me so I founced on down the stairs, yelling at all three of them. Just as I got to the bottom step, I got a face full of water, I never did know who threw it...but I hmphhed and flounced right back up the stairs. (ok...I promise not to flounce anymore.)
Now, I wasn't going to be outdone! I dumped the mop water out and filled the bucket with cold water from the shower. Muttering, I'll show them....I flounced (oops) right back to the porch...right above the three of them rolling on the ground and laughing about me getting wet....and dumped the whole bucketful of water on them!
This day stands out in my memory as one of the most fun days Joe and the kids and I shared. For some reason, he had decided to spend the weekend in Ypsilanti instead of going home. We had planned earlier that morning to take a picnic to the park when my cleaning was done.
We never made it to the park. By the time we finished the water fight...with all of us at one time or other ending up in the shower with cold water running full blast, we were wading water in the house. It took us all working together, and every towel in the house, to get it mopped up.
Joe took us to the hot dog stand when everything was done and from there we stopped in at Avanelles. Somehow or other, the Cascades in Jackson came up. None of us had ever been there...and before I knew it, we had all piled into my car...Joe, Me, Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle, Gary, Mary, Debbie, Phyllis and Suetta...and were on our way to Jackson.
We spent several hours at the Cascades...which were beautiful...because we just had to wait until dark to see them all lit up. It was a perfect ending to a perfect summer day.
Silly, isn't it? The things one remembers.
Furious, I flounced (how do you flounce?) out the door and with my arms akimbo (another strange word), yelled at Joe, who ignored me. I figured they were laughing so loud, they couldn't hear me so I founced on down the stairs, yelling at all three of them. Just as I got to the bottom step, I got a face full of water, I never did know who threw it...but I hmphhed and flounced right back up the stairs. (ok...I promise not to flounce anymore.)
Now, I wasn't going to be outdone! I dumped the mop water out and filled the bucket with cold water from the shower. Muttering, I'll show them....I flounced (oops) right back to the porch...right above the three of them rolling on the ground and laughing about me getting wet....and dumped the whole bucketful of water on them!
This day stands out in my memory as one of the most fun days Joe and the kids and I shared. For some reason, he had decided to spend the weekend in Ypsilanti instead of going home. We had planned earlier that morning to take a picnic to the park when my cleaning was done.
We never made it to the park. By the time we finished the water fight...with all of us at one time or other ending up in the shower with cold water running full blast, we were wading water in the house. It took us all working together, and every towel in the house, to get it mopped up.
Joe took us to the hot dog stand when everything was done and from there we stopped in at Avanelles. Somehow or other, the Cascades in Jackson came up. None of us had ever been there...and before I knew it, we had all piled into my car...Joe, Me, Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle, Gary, Mary, Debbie, Phyllis and Suetta...and were on our way to Jackson.
We spent several hours at the Cascades...which were beautiful...because we just had to wait until dark to see them all lit up. It was a perfect ending to a perfect summer day.
Silly, isn't it? The things one remembers.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 23
Looking back, it seems like the children and I did a lot ...travelling to Indiana, visiting family and friends and we did. We did everything on the proverbial shoestring. We went to drive-in movies because kids under 12 were free, so I only had to pay for myself. We took popcorn and Kool-aid with us. We went to the Detroit Zoo at least once every summer because that was free. And we took our sandwiches and drinks with us.
The times I cherish most are the evenings we spent at home, alone. After Tammy and Buddy started school, we had a designated homework hour...right after supper. All three of us would sit at the kitchen table and I would help them with whatever they had to do. If they didn't have homework, we would play with flash cards..or I would write problems for them to work out.
Tammy's second grade teacher, at a parent teacher conference, told me she was concerned about Tammy. She said Tammy was clinging too much onto her and not playing with the other kids. Another time, she told me that Tammy's hair "smelled." There wasn't anything I could do about that. Tammy was a bed-wetter and I couldn't wash her hair in the mornings and send her to school with wet hair. We didn't have home hair-dryers back then...except for these bulky affairs with a hood. Tammy did not like school that year and did everything she could to get to stay home. At the end of the school year, after she had complained about Tammy all year, she suggested we keep Tammy in second grade another year. Not because of her work, Tammy was above average in everything, but because the teacher felt Tammy was too immature.
I worried and prayed and fretted about what to do. The decision was mine. In the end, I decided since she was intelligent enough to do the required work, it might do more harm than good to hold her back. Holding her back a year would put her in the same grade as Buddy and I was afraid that would effect her self-confidence in the future.
When she began the third grade, I talked to her teacher and told her about the concerns the second grade teacher had. But...every parent-teacher conference that year was upbeat and positive. She loved Tammy and said, in her opinion, the other teacher had not liked her...and tried to find fault with her. Tammy made friends with the other girls in her class that year and was eager to go to school every morning. What a difference a good teacher can make!
Now Buddy was a different story. Every teacher all through school said he was the class clown. He would do anything, say anything, to make people laugh. Teachers loved him and couldn't say enough good things about him. He was above average in all his classes, finishing before other kids...and often getting punished for disrupting the class then with his humorous antics.
In the first grade, Buddy was placed on the "tutor" list. Student teachers from Eastern Michigan chose certain kids to work with, and Buddy was chosen by two college boys because of his speech problems. They were good, too. By the end of the year, Buddy was speaking as plainly as anybody. These two boys kind of adopted both Tammy and Buddy that year. Besides working with Buddy two or three evenings after school for an hour, they often came by the apartment on Saturday afternoons and took both kids for ice cream. I liked that because it gave me an hour or two to get the weekly house cleaning done. The whole apartment had brown asbestos tile floors that had to be mopped and waxed every Saturday. It was easier to do it when the kids were gone.
In the apartment on Hamilton, where we lived for over two years, the bathroom had a stall shower instead of a bathtub. I was still in the weekly bath mode in which I had been raised. On Sunday night, Tammy and Buddy took their weekly shower. Tammy had long thick hair. Washing it was a real chore...and combing it was even worse. She would scream when I came near her with a comb or brush. I tried my best to be gentle...but still she hated it.
Then, that summer of '65, all the kids in the family...Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle's three kids and Phyllis's daughter...and Kay all got head lice. I went to the drugstore and bought this purple ointment shampoo that would kill the lice. Tammy screamed and cried ...it burned. Buddy didn't mind it so much and Avanelle said her kids didn't either. Tammy had a sensitive scalp. After the lice shampoo...poor Tammy's hair was covered with nits. I brushed it and combed it with a fine toothed comb every night, trying to get out the nits. Still, after school started, the teacher sent her home saying she had head lice. She didn't. She had nits. So, I cut her hair. All that long, beautiful hair. It had never been cut. Both Tammy and I cried all the time I was cutting it. But that was the only way to get rid of all the nits.
A couple days later, we stopped by Avanelle's and Tammy felt much better when she saw Debbie's and Mary's very short hair!
The times I cherish most are the evenings we spent at home, alone. After Tammy and Buddy started school, we had a designated homework hour...right after supper. All three of us would sit at the kitchen table and I would help them with whatever they had to do. If they didn't have homework, we would play with flash cards..or I would write problems for them to work out.
Tammy's second grade teacher, at a parent teacher conference, told me she was concerned about Tammy. She said Tammy was clinging too much onto her and not playing with the other kids. Another time, she told me that Tammy's hair "smelled." There wasn't anything I could do about that. Tammy was a bed-wetter and I couldn't wash her hair in the mornings and send her to school with wet hair. We didn't have home hair-dryers back then...except for these bulky affairs with a hood. Tammy did not like school that year and did everything she could to get to stay home. At the end of the school year, after she had complained about Tammy all year, she suggested we keep Tammy in second grade another year. Not because of her work, Tammy was above average in everything, but because the teacher felt Tammy was too immature.
I worried and prayed and fretted about what to do. The decision was mine. In the end, I decided since she was intelligent enough to do the required work, it might do more harm than good to hold her back. Holding her back a year would put her in the same grade as Buddy and I was afraid that would effect her self-confidence in the future.
When she began the third grade, I talked to her teacher and told her about the concerns the second grade teacher had. But...every parent-teacher conference that year was upbeat and positive. She loved Tammy and said, in her opinion, the other teacher had not liked her...and tried to find fault with her. Tammy made friends with the other girls in her class that year and was eager to go to school every morning. What a difference a good teacher can make!
Now Buddy was a different story. Every teacher all through school said he was the class clown. He would do anything, say anything, to make people laugh. Teachers loved him and couldn't say enough good things about him. He was above average in all his classes, finishing before other kids...and often getting punished for disrupting the class then with his humorous antics.
In the first grade, Buddy was placed on the "tutor" list. Student teachers from Eastern Michigan chose certain kids to work with, and Buddy was chosen by two college boys because of his speech problems. They were good, too. By the end of the year, Buddy was speaking as plainly as anybody. These two boys kind of adopted both Tammy and Buddy that year. Besides working with Buddy two or three evenings after school for an hour, they often came by the apartment on Saturday afternoons and took both kids for ice cream. I liked that because it gave me an hour or two to get the weekly house cleaning done. The whole apartment had brown asbestos tile floors that had to be mopped and waxed every Saturday. It was easier to do it when the kids were gone.
In the apartment on Hamilton, where we lived for over two years, the bathroom had a stall shower instead of a bathtub. I was still in the weekly bath mode in which I had been raised. On Sunday night, Tammy and Buddy took their weekly shower. Tammy had long thick hair. Washing it was a real chore...and combing it was even worse. She would scream when I came near her with a comb or brush. I tried my best to be gentle...but still she hated it.
Then, that summer of '65, all the kids in the family...Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle's three kids and Phyllis's daughter...and Kay all got head lice. I went to the drugstore and bought this purple ointment shampoo that would kill the lice. Tammy screamed and cried ...it burned. Buddy didn't mind it so much and Avanelle said her kids didn't either. Tammy had a sensitive scalp. After the lice shampoo...poor Tammy's hair was covered with nits. I brushed it and combed it with a fine toothed comb every night, trying to get out the nits. Still, after school started, the teacher sent her home saying she had head lice. She didn't. She had nits. So, I cut her hair. All that long, beautiful hair. It had never been cut. Both Tammy and I cried all the time I was cutting it. But that was the only way to get rid of all the nits.
A couple days later, we stopped by Avanelle's and Tammy felt much better when she saw Debbie's and Mary's very short hair!
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 22
Death is a part of life. Tammy and Buddy were much too young when they had to learn this.
Aunt Susie's youngest child, Kay, was killed in a car accident in August of 1965. This hit all of us hard. Just the night before, we had eaten supper at Aunt Susie's and Kay wanted to go to the drive-in to see Mary Poppins. I told her I couldn't go that night because I had to work the next day, but we would definitely go tomorrow...Friday. After I left, Kay went for a ride with her sisters and their boyfriends. There was an accident and Kay was killed instantly.
My brother, Darvin, died on April 1, 1966. He had turned 12 just a couple of weeks before. Darvin had been sick since he was six years old. A playground accident...falling off a swing...had left him with a broken ...or damaged...vertabra in his neck. It took several episodes of him stopping breathing with ensuing hospital stays, before the cause was finally discovered...over a year after the first episode. The stoppage of his breathing so many times left him with brain damage and also triggered something in his brain that caused him to regress. Mom and Dad kept him home as long as they could, but a couple of years before his death, they were forced to place him in a children's home/hospital where he could be constantly monitored. I saw him last on his twelth birthday. Tammy, Buddy and I stopped in Fort Wayne at the Children's Hospital and the kids took him a bag of chocolate stars, his favorite candy.
Tammy cried when she saw his broken arm in a cast. Mom, who was there also, explained to her that he felt no pain. Except for sight, all his senses were gone. He was ...well...not like a newborn...perhaps even less that that. It was heart-breaking for all of us.
On April 1 about 7 a.m., as I was getting the kids ready for school, Mom called me and said Darvin had pneumonia and was not expected to live through the day. I hurriedly called my brother, Jimmy and made arrangements for us to leave for Indiana. I called Aunt Susie and told her what was going on, that I would call her when I got to Indiana.
I will not dwell too much on the events of that weekend. As difficult as it was on me, I had to soften the blow to my children. Tammy, especially, loved Darvin. In my mind's eye, I can still see her, a little four year old, leading Darvin around. Darvin went through a phase as he deteriorated when he was just a mean little boy. Nobody could handle him when he was thwarted from doing something he wanted to do...except Tammy. She could walk up to him...take him by the hand and he would immediately stop his tantrum and follow her anywhere.
I explained his death to them, just as I had when Kay died, like this. Sometimes God only loans us one of his angels. When that angel had served whatever purpose God had set for him on earth, he called him back home. Now Darvin was back in heaven with God and would never hurt again. He was just a normal little boy, running and playing and laughing with Kay.
A little aside here. Mom's son Darvin, Aunt Susie's daughter Day, and Avanelle's son Gary, were all born in 1954. Kay died in 1965, Darvin in 1966...and Gary Dale was killed in a freakish train accident in 1969.
The resilience of children is amazing. While I and the rest of the family grieved for months over the loss of Kay and Darvin, within days Tammy and Buddy were back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. They were not traumatized by the deaths. We often talked about Darvin and Kay, laughing together over funny things we remembered.
A couple of years later, my brother's four month old baby was a victim of SDS. My sister-in-law was, naturally, inconsolable. Tammy tried to comfort her by telling her she shouldn't worry about little Crit now, God had just called him back home to join the other angels...and anyway, Crit had Darvin and Kay there to watch out for him.
Aunt Susie's youngest child, Kay, was killed in a car accident in August of 1965. This hit all of us hard. Just the night before, we had eaten supper at Aunt Susie's and Kay wanted to go to the drive-in to see Mary Poppins. I told her I couldn't go that night because I had to work the next day, but we would definitely go tomorrow...Friday. After I left, Kay went for a ride with her sisters and their boyfriends. There was an accident and Kay was killed instantly.
My brother, Darvin, died on April 1, 1966. He had turned 12 just a couple of weeks before. Darvin had been sick since he was six years old. A playground accident...falling off a swing...had left him with a broken ...or damaged...vertabra in his neck. It took several episodes of him stopping breathing with ensuing hospital stays, before the cause was finally discovered...over a year after the first episode. The stoppage of his breathing so many times left him with brain damage and also triggered something in his brain that caused him to regress. Mom and Dad kept him home as long as they could, but a couple of years before his death, they were forced to place him in a children's home/hospital where he could be constantly monitored. I saw him last on his twelth birthday. Tammy, Buddy and I stopped in Fort Wayne at the Children's Hospital and the kids took him a bag of chocolate stars, his favorite candy.
Tammy cried when she saw his broken arm in a cast. Mom, who was there also, explained to her that he felt no pain. Except for sight, all his senses were gone. He was ...well...not like a newborn...perhaps even less that that. It was heart-breaking for all of us.
On April 1 about 7 a.m., as I was getting the kids ready for school, Mom called me and said Darvin had pneumonia and was not expected to live through the day. I hurriedly called my brother, Jimmy and made arrangements for us to leave for Indiana. I called Aunt Susie and told her what was going on, that I would call her when I got to Indiana.
I will not dwell too much on the events of that weekend. As difficult as it was on me, I had to soften the blow to my children. Tammy, especially, loved Darvin. In my mind's eye, I can still see her, a little four year old, leading Darvin around. Darvin went through a phase as he deteriorated when he was just a mean little boy. Nobody could handle him when he was thwarted from doing something he wanted to do...except Tammy. She could walk up to him...take him by the hand and he would immediately stop his tantrum and follow her anywhere.
I explained his death to them, just as I had when Kay died, like this. Sometimes God only loans us one of his angels. When that angel had served whatever purpose God had set for him on earth, he called him back home. Now Darvin was back in heaven with God and would never hurt again. He was just a normal little boy, running and playing and laughing with Kay.
A little aside here. Mom's son Darvin, Aunt Susie's daughter Day, and Avanelle's son Gary, were all born in 1954. Kay died in 1965, Darvin in 1966...and Gary Dale was killed in a freakish train accident in 1969.
The resilience of children is amazing. While I and the rest of the family grieved for months over the loss of Kay and Darvin, within days Tammy and Buddy were back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. They were not traumatized by the deaths. We often talked about Darvin and Kay, laughing together over funny things we remembered.
A couple of years later, my brother's four month old baby was a victim of SDS. My sister-in-law was, naturally, inconsolable. Tammy tried to comfort her by telling her she shouldn't worry about little Crit now, God had just called him back home to join the other angels...and anyway, Crit had Darvin and Kay there to watch out for him.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 21
Uncle Troy and Aunt Susie had a vegetable stand in front of their house on Michigan Avenue every summer. The kids and I spent a lot of evenings out there...sometimes for supper, sometimes after supper. I would take over watching the stand for a hour or so, giving Aunt Susie a break.
Aunt Susie declared the stand off limits to all kids and would quarrel at us when our kids came down to it...but she was the one who gave them bananas, apples, grapes, etc. Then turn around again and yell at them for leaving the yard!
I adored Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy. They were my second parents. Over the years, I think I spent nearly as much time with them as with my own parents. As a adult, with my own parents 200 miles away, it was to Aunt Susie I went with all my troubles. She was wonderful. She would listen while I grumbled and complained, sometimes crying...and never offer a word of advice. Just an understanding..."I'm sure you'll figure it out." Aunt Susie was a hard woman...hard to understand. She quarrelled all the time. To listen to her, you'd think she hated everything and everybody. When Tammy and Buddy were very little, they were scared of her and when we'd visit, be sure to stay out of her way. But over the years, they began to see the underlying kindness and goodness that she hid beneath her gruffness and ended up loving her as much as I did.
If one of them got hurt, which often happened when they played with all the other kids, Aunt Susie was the first to pick them up and gently take care of whatever scrape or cut they had...all the time grumbling and complaining about them running wild and not watching what they were doing.
Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy...she was Uncle Troy's mother...in the summer of 1965, I think it was, when the building she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. There, Granny had her own big bedroom off the kitchen, with its own entrance. But, when I went to visit her, I would always find her either sitting at Aunt Susie's kitchen table or a straight chair by the space heater in the living room. The two of them spent every day together...and I know they loved each other. Yet, they could go an entire day without ever speaking. Until someone else would come in to talk to them both.
My kids and I were very close to my younger cousins. Besides Avanelle and Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy's other kids were Gladys, Troy Juniour, Altie Faye, Doris Ann and Mary Catherine...called Kay. Kay was only three or four years older than Tammy and they were great friends. Altie and Doris aften babysat with my kids. On Saturday nights, when we went to the drive-in movies, we never went without Altie, Doris and Kay. In fact, I seldom went to Indiana without the three of them except on Holidays when they had to stay home.
In July of 1964, my brother Jimmy got married and we went to Indiana for the wedding...and Kay went with us. While at mom's that weekend, we all decided to go on to Kentucky for a week. Actually, we all ended up going on Jim's honeymoon! Kay and my little sister, Doralee, even rode to Kentucky with Jimmy and Loretta!
I worried all the time we were gone that Aunt Susie would be mad at me for taking Kay all the way to Kentucky. But, she didn't care. She said there was nobody she'd trust more with her girls than me.
Aunt Susie declared the stand off limits to all kids and would quarrel at us when our kids came down to it...but she was the one who gave them bananas, apples, grapes, etc. Then turn around again and yell at them for leaving the yard!
I adored Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy. They were my second parents. Over the years, I think I spent nearly as much time with them as with my own parents. As a adult, with my own parents 200 miles away, it was to Aunt Susie I went with all my troubles. She was wonderful. She would listen while I grumbled and complained, sometimes crying...and never offer a word of advice. Just an understanding..."I'm sure you'll figure it out." Aunt Susie was a hard woman...hard to understand. She quarrelled all the time. To listen to her, you'd think she hated everything and everybody. When Tammy and Buddy were very little, they were scared of her and when we'd visit, be sure to stay out of her way. But over the years, they began to see the underlying kindness and goodness that she hid beneath her gruffness and ended up loving her as much as I did.
If one of them got hurt, which often happened when they played with all the other kids, Aunt Susie was the first to pick them up and gently take care of whatever scrape or cut they had...all the time grumbling and complaining about them running wild and not watching what they were doing.
Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy...she was Uncle Troy's mother...in the summer of 1965, I think it was, when the building she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. There, Granny had her own big bedroom off the kitchen, with its own entrance. But, when I went to visit her, I would always find her either sitting at Aunt Susie's kitchen table or a straight chair by the space heater in the living room. The two of them spent every day together...and I know they loved each other. Yet, they could go an entire day without ever speaking. Until someone else would come in to talk to them both.
My kids and I were very close to my younger cousins. Besides Avanelle and Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy's other kids were Gladys, Troy Juniour, Altie Faye, Doris Ann and Mary Catherine...called Kay. Kay was only three or four years older than Tammy and they were great friends. Altie and Doris aften babysat with my kids. On Saturday nights, when we went to the drive-in movies, we never went without Altie, Doris and Kay. In fact, I seldom went to Indiana without the three of them except on Holidays when they had to stay home.
In July of 1964, my brother Jimmy got married and we went to Indiana for the wedding...and Kay went with us. While at mom's that weekend, we all decided to go on to Kentucky for a week. Actually, we all ended up going on Jim's honeymoon! Kay and my little sister, Doralee, even rode to Kentucky with Jimmy and Loretta!
I worried all the time we were gone that Aunt Susie would be mad at me for taking Kay all the way to Kentucky. But, she didn't care. She said there was nobody she'd trust more with her girls than me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 20
Easter was my next favorite holiday. Like Christmas, it was all about the kids. Easter baskets. Colored eggs. Easter outfits. Egg hunts. Church. Okay..so maybe Church should have been head of the list. Whether we were in Ypsilanti or Indiana, we always went to Church on Easter Sunday...and the Church always had an Easter egg hunt after services.
Most Easters we went to Mom and Dad's, but there were a few years we stayed home. When we stayed home, we went to Church with Granny...which we did several times through the year, but not often enough. Every time I went to Church, I left there with a glow inside and a promise to myself to go more often. But I let life get in the way and was lucky to go every six weeks and then only after much coercion from Granny.
Tammy and Buddy always got new clothes for Easter...dress, shoes, socks and hat for Tammy...Buddy got dress pants, shirt and shoes. Both got an Easter basket from the dime store fillled with penny candy and a toy.
Easter and the start of school was the only time I bought them new clothes and shoes...the rest of their clothes came from Goodwill. Garage sales were not common back then. At Easter they got dress shoes...for Church. When school started, they got sturdy winter shoes. I can't remember them ever having more than two pairs of shoes.
When we stayed home for Easter, like at Christmas, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner, along with maybe 30 other family members. We always had another egg hunt in their yard.
When we went to Mom and Dad's, we'd drive down on Friday night, again with Granny and Aunt Dora in the car. Sunday, Mom would get us up early to go to sunrise services at 6. After sunrise service, the Church women cooked a big southern breakfast...bacon, sausage, eggs, gravy, biscuits. After that much heavy food, I...along with perhaps 80 percent of the congregation...slept through the main service. After the egg hunt, we went back to the house where Mom cooked a big dinner and we had another egg hunt for all the kids. Then by five, we were on the road for home again.
The Fourth of July was another big holiday. Either I went to Indiana or Mom and Dad came to Ypsilanti. Whichever place, we had a big picnic at the lake with all the family living in the area. I liked it best when Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters came to Ypsi. By the time we all gathered at the lake, there would be at least 50 of us and the adults had as much fun together as the kids did.
One year I remember a particular incident. My three-year-old Buddy came out of the water up to where I was sitting with Mom and Granny and a few aunts. Buddy said he needed to go to the bathroom. Granny said, "just pee in the water, everybody else does!" So, Buddy ran back down to the lake and pulled his swim trunks down...and stood there and peed in the water! I thought I would die of embarrassment. But everybody else thought it was hilarious...and became one of those tales told at every family gathering for years.
From the time Tammy and Buddy were two and three years old, July Fourth was the day they went to stay with Mom and Dad for six weeks...until I went to get them in time to have them home for Buddy's birthday on August 14th. It was easier, in some ways, for Mom and Dad to take them than for me to leave them in Indiana. If I had to leave them, the trip home was very sad and I'm not altogether sure it was safe for me to drive while crying. When Mom and Dad took them, I was still sad, but being with Avanelle and Phyllis kept me from dwelling on it until I went home alone.
Labor Day was another big family holiday, either in Indiana or Michigan, with Mom and Dad going to Ypsilanti or me going to Indiana. Another family picnic at the lake. The end of summer.
Actually, the way it worked was if Mom and Dad came up for the Fourth, we went there for Labor Day and vice versa. If we went to Indiana, I didn't go alone...or with just Granny and Aunt Dora. Often my car would be filled with ten, or more, people. Me, Granny and Aunt Susie in the front seat. Tammy, Buddy, Gladys, Altie, Doris, Kay...sometimes Phyllis and Suetta..in the back seat. Oh...Aunt Dora never went with us then. That was the holiday she spent with her son every year...that and sometimes Thanksgiving.
As you can tell by all this, I was big on family and tried to teach my kids that family was the most important thing in life. Mom and Dad lived 200 miles away, but I never let more than a month or six weeks go by without going to see them...unless they had made a trip up to Ypsilanti, which they did two or three times a year as long as Granny was living.
I think my kids have all stayed true to this. I know my sons children are close with and see their maternal family often. Tammy and her kids are close to me and I thank God for them every day. But my boys live a hundred miles away and I don't see them and their kids often. I guess that's just life. Granny used to say "A son is your son until he takes a wife...but a daughter is your daughter all her life."
There's a lot of truth in that. I know every mother with only one daughter wishes she had more daughters...and I'm sure the daughters wish that too so they could have someone else to share the burden of older parents with. I do take delight in knowing my grandkids are happily close to their mother's families even though it hurts that I'm not the one...and I admit to a little guilty jealousy.
Most Easters we went to Mom and Dad's, but there were a few years we stayed home. When we stayed home, we went to Church with Granny...which we did several times through the year, but not often enough. Every time I went to Church, I left there with a glow inside and a promise to myself to go more often. But I let life get in the way and was lucky to go every six weeks and then only after much coercion from Granny.
Tammy and Buddy always got new clothes for Easter...dress, shoes, socks and hat for Tammy...Buddy got dress pants, shirt and shoes. Both got an Easter basket from the dime store fillled with penny candy and a toy.
Easter and the start of school was the only time I bought them new clothes and shoes...the rest of their clothes came from Goodwill. Garage sales were not common back then. At Easter they got dress shoes...for Church. When school started, they got sturdy winter shoes. I can't remember them ever having more than two pairs of shoes.
When we stayed home for Easter, like at Christmas, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner, along with maybe 30 other family members. We always had another egg hunt in their yard.
When we went to Mom and Dad's, we'd drive down on Friday night, again with Granny and Aunt Dora in the car. Sunday, Mom would get us up early to go to sunrise services at 6. After sunrise service, the Church women cooked a big southern breakfast...bacon, sausage, eggs, gravy, biscuits. After that much heavy food, I...along with perhaps 80 percent of the congregation...slept through the main service. After the egg hunt, we went back to the house where Mom cooked a big dinner and we had another egg hunt for all the kids. Then by five, we were on the road for home again.
The Fourth of July was another big holiday. Either I went to Indiana or Mom and Dad came to Ypsilanti. Whichever place, we had a big picnic at the lake with all the family living in the area. I liked it best when Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters came to Ypsi. By the time we all gathered at the lake, there would be at least 50 of us and the adults had as much fun together as the kids did.
One year I remember a particular incident. My three-year-old Buddy came out of the water up to where I was sitting with Mom and Granny and a few aunts. Buddy said he needed to go to the bathroom. Granny said, "just pee in the water, everybody else does!" So, Buddy ran back down to the lake and pulled his swim trunks down...and stood there and peed in the water! I thought I would die of embarrassment. But everybody else thought it was hilarious...and became one of those tales told at every family gathering for years.
From the time Tammy and Buddy were two and three years old, July Fourth was the day they went to stay with Mom and Dad for six weeks...until I went to get them in time to have them home for Buddy's birthday on August 14th. It was easier, in some ways, for Mom and Dad to take them than for me to leave them in Indiana. If I had to leave them, the trip home was very sad and I'm not altogether sure it was safe for me to drive while crying. When Mom and Dad took them, I was still sad, but being with Avanelle and Phyllis kept me from dwelling on it until I went home alone.
Labor Day was another big family holiday, either in Indiana or Michigan, with Mom and Dad going to Ypsilanti or me going to Indiana. Another family picnic at the lake. The end of summer.
Actually, the way it worked was if Mom and Dad came up for the Fourth, we went there for Labor Day and vice versa. If we went to Indiana, I didn't go alone...or with just Granny and Aunt Dora. Often my car would be filled with ten, or more, people. Me, Granny and Aunt Susie in the front seat. Tammy, Buddy, Gladys, Altie, Doris, Kay...sometimes Phyllis and Suetta..in the back seat. Oh...Aunt Dora never went with us then. That was the holiday she spent with her son every year...that and sometimes Thanksgiving.
As you can tell by all this, I was big on family and tried to teach my kids that family was the most important thing in life. Mom and Dad lived 200 miles away, but I never let more than a month or six weeks go by without going to see them...unless they had made a trip up to Ypsilanti, which they did two or three times a year as long as Granny was living.
I think my kids have all stayed true to this. I know my sons children are close with and see their maternal family often. Tammy and her kids are close to me and I thank God for them every day. But my boys live a hundred miles away and I don't see them and their kids often. I guess that's just life. Granny used to say "A son is your son until he takes a wife...but a daughter is your daughter all her life."
There's a lot of truth in that. I know every mother with only one daughter wishes she had more daughters...and I'm sure the daughters wish that too so they could have someone else to share the burden of older parents with. I do take delight in knowing my grandkids are happily close to their mother's families even though it hurts that I'm not the one...and I admit to a little guilty jealousy.
Monday, July 20, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 19
I loved Holidays and always tried to make them special for my children. Christmas was my favorite. Even though in the early years I didn't have much money to spend for Christmas, I always managed.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, following in my Dad's tradition, I would decorate the living room...hanging red and green streamers across the ceiling, corner to corner, with a big red bell in the center. Depending on what day Christmas fell on, I would buy the tree on Saturday, week to ten days before. The kids and I would start out first thing after breakfast and visit a few lots looking for the perfect tree. We could never agree, though, just what that was. Buddy got cold and bored easily...and was ready to pick any tree by the second lot we visited. Tammy was all over the lot, yelling, Mom come look! Back then trees were not wrapped up...they were standing in all their glory!
Eventually, we'd pick one and with the help of the salesman, get it tied onto the top of the car. The three of us would wrestle it into the house and up the stairs. Then I had to get it into the tree stand and figure out the perfect spot in the living room to put it. This usually meant rearranging the furniture.
Tammy and Buddy would very enthusiastically start helping decorate the tree...after I had fought with untangling and hanging the lights. While I draped roping, they would hang the bulbs.
By the time we got to the icicles, they were tired of the whole thing and would just throw them on the tree. After they went to bed, I painstakingly straightened every icicle.
With time out for lunch and supper, this was an all day job, but one of the most fun days of the year for the three of us. Then on the next day, we'd go visit Avanelle, Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Lee...and maybe Darvin...to see their trees. Thankfully, the kids always declared ours was the prettiest.
Since I worked in an office and always had to work the day after both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Once in awhile we went to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving, but it was such a quick trip, 200 miles down on Wednesday night...200 miles back on Thursday night...and work Friday. At work, Christmas Eve was always half a day...so when Christmas fell on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday, we went to Indiana. If it was on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday...we stayed home.
I made sure both kids got at least one nice gift...something they had wanted. Tammy got a doll every year until she said she was too old...I think she was 12. Buddy got a Buddy L Truck ..because it had his name on it. Then they'd get small gifts...set of dishes, cap pistol, ball and paddle...yoyo...jump rope...and pajamas...and socks! Of course, they always asked Santa for a lot more than they got!
Just like me when I was a little girl, the first thing they went for under the tree on Christmas morning was their stockings! Well, sometimes they were under the tree...sometimes they were hung up if I had a place to hang them. I always managed to get a couple of big men's socks and filled them full....apple, orange, banana, candy bar, package of gum, nuts and wrapped hard candy. I never cooked Christmas Dinner. Always, when we had to stay in Ypsilanti, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner. And she had a housefull. Besides me and my kids, Avanelle, Phyllis and their kids, Granny, Aunt Dora and Uncle Darvin with his wife and kids, Uncle Calvin and his family, Uncle Spencer...and sometimes Uncle Speed and his family. Many times Aunt Susie cooked Christmas dinner for 30 or more.
On the years we went to Mom and Dad's in Indiana, I had to haul everything with us. Granny and Aunt Dora would go with us, as long as Aunt Dora lived in Ypsi. Granny in the front passenger seat and Aunt Dora in the back with Tammy and Buddy. It was usually dark when we left home and all the way there Aunt Dora would have Tammy and Buddy watching out the windows for Santa Claus. A few times they swore they saw him streaking across the sky..and Aunt Dora backed them up!
That Christmas Eve trip was always fun. All the way there, we'd sing Christmas carols, Granny and Aunt Dora would tell about the First Christmas. They neither one knew the bible references...but they knew the story almost word for word from the bible. Then we would talk about what it must have been like as compared to what this Christmas was for us. No matter what time we made it to Mom and Dad's, Tammy and Buddy were wide awake. Any other trip, they fell asleep almost as soon as we left home.
At Mom and Dad's, the whole family was waiting up for us and Dad complaining because we were so late! As soon as possible, the kids were sent to bed so Santa could do his stuff! First we had to fill all the socks...then Mom would start pulling out all the presents she had hidden through the year. I'd unload my trunk. Dad would start piling stuff under the tree. Not much was wrapped...just the clothing items. Most of the time we didn't get much sleep that night...perhaps a couple of hours because the kids were back up by six a.m.
The kids were not allowed to touch the presents until everybody was up and in the living room...which meant they had to wait until we...adults...had a cup of coffee in our hands. Then Dad would finish his Santa act...handing out the socks first...then the presents.
Part of my enjoyment of those Christmases was watching Aunt Dora. She had left home in KY and moved to Michigan when she was 16. She worked in a dime store...married the owner who was much older than her. They had only one child, an adopted son. So, our big, noisy, Christmas was something new to her...and she loved it.
Mom always cooked a fantastic big dinner. On years I had to leave right after dinner, I was so stuffed it was hard to drive home! And Aunt Dora! She would talk all the way home about how much fun she had...and that it was her best Christmas ever! To me, the trip home was always a little sad. Christmas was over for another year.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, following in my Dad's tradition, I would decorate the living room...hanging red and green streamers across the ceiling, corner to corner, with a big red bell in the center. Depending on what day Christmas fell on, I would buy the tree on Saturday, week to ten days before. The kids and I would start out first thing after breakfast and visit a few lots looking for the perfect tree. We could never agree, though, just what that was. Buddy got cold and bored easily...and was ready to pick any tree by the second lot we visited. Tammy was all over the lot, yelling, Mom come look! Back then trees were not wrapped up...they were standing in all their glory!
Eventually, we'd pick one and with the help of the salesman, get it tied onto the top of the car. The three of us would wrestle it into the house and up the stairs. Then I had to get it into the tree stand and figure out the perfect spot in the living room to put it. This usually meant rearranging the furniture.
Tammy and Buddy would very enthusiastically start helping decorate the tree...after I had fought with untangling and hanging the lights. While I draped roping, they would hang the bulbs.
By the time we got to the icicles, they were tired of the whole thing and would just throw them on the tree. After they went to bed, I painstakingly straightened every icicle.
With time out for lunch and supper, this was an all day job, but one of the most fun days of the year for the three of us. Then on the next day, we'd go visit Avanelle, Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Lee...and maybe Darvin...to see their trees. Thankfully, the kids always declared ours was the prettiest.
Since I worked in an office and always had to work the day after both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Once in awhile we went to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving, but it was such a quick trip, 200 miles down on Wednesday night...200 miles back on Thursday night...and work Friday. At work, Christmas Eve was always half a day...so when Christmas fell on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday, we went to Indiana. If it was on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday...we stayed home.
I made sure both kids got at least one nice gift...something they had wanted. Tammy got a doll every year until she said she was too old...I think she was 12. Buddy got a Buddy L Truck ..because it had his name on it. Then they'd get small gifts...set of dishes, cap pistol, ball and paddle...yoyo...jump rope...and pajamas...and socks! Of course, they always asked Santa for a lot more than they got!
Just like me when I was a little girl, the first thing they went for under the tree on Christmas morning was their stockings! Well, sometimes they were under the tree...sometimes they were hung up if I had a place to hang them. I always managed to get a couple of big men's socks and filled them full....apple, orange, banana, candy bar, package of gum, nuts and wrapped hard candy. I never cooked Christmas Dinner. Always, when we had to stay in Ypsilanti, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner. And she had a housefull. Besides me and my kids, Avanelle, Phyllis and their kids, Granny, Aunt Dora and Uncle Darvin with his wife and kids, Uncle Calvin and his family, Uncle Spencer...and sometimes Uncle Speed and his family. Many times Aunt Susie cooked Christmas dinner for 30 or more.
On the years we went to Mom and Dad's in Indiana, I had to haul everything with us. Granny and Aunt Dora would go with us, as long as Aunt Dora lived in Ypsi. Granny in the front passenger seat and Aunt Dora in the back with Tammy and Buddy. It was usually dark when we left home and all the way there Aunt Dora would have Tammy and Buddy watching out the windows for Santa Claus. A few times they swore they saw him streaking across the sky..and Aunt Dora backed them up!
That Christmas Eve trip was always fun. All the way there, we'd sing Christmas carols, Granny and Aunt Dora would tell about the First Christmas. They neither one knew the bible references...but they knew the story almost word for word from the bible. Then we would talk about what it must have been like as compared to what this Christmas was for us. No matter what time we made it to Mom and Dad's, Tammy and Buddy were wide awake. Any other trip, they fell asleep almost as soon as we left home.
At Mom and Dad's, the whole family was waiting up for us and Dad complaining because we were so late! As soon as possible, the kids were sent to bed so Santa could do his stuff! First we had to fill all the socks...then Mom would start pulling out all the presents she had hidden through the year. I'd unload my trunk. Dad would start piling stuff under the tree. Not much was wrapped...just the clothing items. Most of the time we didn't get much sleep that night...perhaps a couple of hours because the kids were back up by six a.m.
The kids were not allowed to touch the presents until everybody was up and in the living room...which meant they had to wait until we...adults...had a cup of coffee in our hands. Then Dad would finish his Santa act...handing out the socks first...then the presents.
Part of my enjoyment of those Christmases was watching Aunt Dora. She had left home in KY and moved to Michigan when she was 16. She worked in a dime store...married the owner who was much older than her. They had only one child, an adopted son. So, our big, noisy, Christmas was something new to her...and she loved it.
Mom always cooked a fantastic big dinner. On years I had to leave right after dinner, I was so stuffed it was hard to drive home! And Aunt Dora! She would talk all the way home about how much fun she had...and that it was her best Christmas ever! To me, the trip home was always a little sad. Christmas was over for another year.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 18
Actually this part should have been before the last one...but I got ahead of myself.
The first summer we lived on Hamilton, I was just seeing Joe occasionally. My life was still centered around my kids when I wasn't working and we were a close unit. We did everything together and they went everywhere with me...the grocery store, the laundromat, the bank, visiting relatives and friends...when I wasn't working. When I went out at night, I didn't leave until after they were in bed, usually asleep.
But getting them to bed and then to go to sleep was a nightly hassle. We began bedtime at 8...but it was a rare night, especially when they didn't have school, that they were asleep before 10.
We had both their twin beds in one bedroom until one night after several trips in there to settle them down, I was in the living room watching TV and I smelled smoke. I checked all over the apartment..then opened Tammy and Buddy's bedroom door. There they were, both in one bed....under the tented blanket, lighting matches! I was furious! I dragged them both out of the bed and used a paddle (from the ball and paddle toy) on their behinds. All the while, lecturing them on the dangers of playing with matches.
The next day I changed things around. I moved the dining room table into the kitchen and Buddy's bed into the dining room. They cried and begged me not to separate them. But I told them I could no longer trust them together, so get over it!
Bedtimes became much calmer and easier after that. Tammy had her own room with a door. Buddys room was open...with doors into the kitchen, living room and hall. As I worked around the apartment doing my usual nightly housekeeping, I had to be especially quiet to not wake Buddy. The doorway from Buddy's room into the living room was a wide arch...and I soon found out he could ...and did...watch TV from his bed. This meant I also had to rearrange the furniture in the living room, moving the TV to where Buddy couldn't see it.
For the first time, that summer, Tammy and Buddy started doing things that didn't include each other. Buddy joined the Boy's club. Tammy began having overnights with either Debbie or Suetta. My babies were growing up.
The first summer we lived on Hamilton, I was just seeing Joe occasionally. My life was still centered around my kids when I wasn't working and we were a close unit. We did everything together and they went everywhere with me...the grocery store, the laundromat, the bank, visiting relatives and friends...when I wasn't working. When I went out at night, I didn't leave until after they were in bed, usually asleep.
But getting them to bed and then to go to sleep was a nightly hassle. We began bedtime at 8...but it was a rare night, especially when they didn't have school, that they were asleep before 10.
We had both their twin beds in one bedroom until one night after several trips in there to settle them down, I was in the living room watching TV and I smelled smoke. I checked all over the apartment..then opened Tammy and Buddy's bedroom door. There they were, both in one bed....under the tented blanket, lighting matches! I was furious! I dragged them both out of the bed and used a paddle (from the ball and paddle toy) on their behinds. All the while, lecturing them on the dangers of playing with matches.
The next day I changed things around. I moved the dining room table into the kitchen and Buddy's bed into the dining room. They cried and begged me not to separate them. But I told them I could no longer trust them together, so get over it!
Bedtimes became much calmer and easier after that. Tammy had her own room with a door. Buddys room was open...with doors into the kitchen, living room and hall. As I worked around the apartment doing my usual nightly housekeeping, I had to be especially quiet to not wake Buddy. The doorway from Buddy's room into the living room was a wide arch...and I soon found out he could ...and did...watch TV from his bed. This meant I also had to rearrange the furniture in the living room, moving the TV to where Buddy couldn't see it.
For the first time, that summer, Tammy and Buddy started doing things that didn't include each other. Buddy joined the Boy's club. Tammy began having overnights with either Debbie or Suetta. My babies were growing up.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 17
The summer of 1966, Joe decided to go to summer school at Eastern, so after much discussion and fretting about what my family would think, we decided he would live with me and the kids for the summer. Before him, even though I had had a couple fairly serious relationships, I never allowed a man to stay over night nor get too close to my kids. It wasn't so much that I was prudish as that I didn't want Tammy and Buddy to get hurt by coming to care too much for the guy. My history wasn't good as to long-term relationships. I tended to fall "in love" easily and three months or so later, couldn't see what I had ever saw in the guy in the first place.
Joe and I both believed our relationship was for life...and planned to get married after he graduated and had a regular job. Before he moved in, I told both my parents and Granny what we planned. They weren't happy about it..but ..hey! I was 28 years old!
Actually, this worked out good financially. Joe baby-sat for the kids and dropped them off at Granny's when he had to go to class, saving me $15.00 a week. And he and the kids adored each other! I sometimes think he ended up marrying me just to get Tammy and Buddy.
After Joe's accident during an epileptic seizure, he lost his driver's license for six months...so that summer, he stayed with us during the week and I'd take him home to Highland Park on Friday night so he could work at his family's bar. On Sunday night, somebody would drive him back to Ypsi. Most Saturday nights I got a baby-sitter and went to his bar to be with him.
The four of us were usually content to stay home and just be together, but we spent many evenings with Avanelle, Phyllis or at Aunt Susie's. That summer, too, Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy because the house she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. It was heart-breaking when she and Aunt Dora had to split up, with Aunt Dora going to Pontiac to live with her son. They never saw each other again. Granny loved Joe..but everytime we saw her, she had to get a dig in about us "living in sin."
On Saturdays and Sundays, the kids and I often went out to a lake in the Irish Hills where some friends had a summer cottage. They had two boys the same age as Tammy and Buddy so the kids loved going there. I learned to water-ski that summer. We kept life-jackets on the kids all day long and they practically lived in the water. When it came time for them to go to Mom and Dad's for their annual six weeks, for the first time they didn't want to go...they didn't want to leave Joe. But they did go...and Joe missed them as much as I did. When I made a trip down to see them after three weeks, Joe took off work and went along. Then three weeks later, when I went to get them, he was waiting at the apartment when we got home....and had decorated it with balloons and welcome home banners....as well as gifts for them...a ball and bat for Buddy...a doll and buggy for Tammy.
Since the living arrangements had worked out so good over the summer, Joe stayed on with us for his last year at Eastern.
Joe and I both believed our relationship was for life...and planned to get married after he graduated and had a regular job. Before he moved in, I told both my parents and Granny what we planned. They weren't happy about it..but ..hey! I was 28 years old!
Actually, this worked out good financially. Joe baby-sat for the kids and dropped them off at Granny's when he had to go to class, saving me $15.00 a week. And he and the kids adored each other! I sometimes think he ended up marrying me just to get Tammy and Buddy.
After Joe's accident during an epileptic seizure, he lost his driver's license for six months...so that summer, he stayed with us during the week and I'd take him home to Highland Park on Friday night so he could work at his family's bar. On Sunday night, somebody would drive him back to Ypsi. Most Saturday nights I got a baby-sitter and went to his bar to be with him.
The four of us were usually content to stay home and just be together, but we spent many evenings with Avanelle, Phyllis or at Aunt Susie's. That summer, too, Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy because the house she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. It was heart-breaking when she and Aunt Dora had to split up, with Aunt Dora going to Pontiac to live with her son. They never saw each other again. Granny loved Joe..but everytime we saw her, she had to get a dig in about us "living in sin."
On Saturdays and Sundays, the kids and I often went out to a lake in the Irish Hills where some friends had a summer cottage. They had two boys the same age as Tammy and Buddy so the kids loved going there. I learned to water-ski that summer. We kept life-jackets on the kids all day long and they practically lived in the water. When it came time for them to go to Mom and Dad's for their annual six weeks, for the first time they didn't want to go...they didn't want to leave Joe. But they did go...and Joe missed them as much as I did. When I made a trip down to see them after three weeks, Joe took off work and went along. Then three weeks later, when I went to get them, he was waiting at the apartment when we got home....and had decorated it with balloons and welcome home banners....as well as gifts for them...a ball and bat for Buddy...a doll and buggy for Tammy.
Since the living arrangements had worked out so good over the summer, Joe stayed on with us for his last year at Eastern.
Friday, July 3, 2009
LONG WEEK
This has been a long week at Shipshewana...Tuesday through Saturday. Their special days for the Fourth of July. I worked our space on Tuesday and Thursday...but didnt' make it all day. I was gonna go up tomorrow, Saturday the 4th, but Sarah doesn't have a baby-sitter for Kadyn all day. I'm going to keep him from 8 to noon...then Teri will take him. Today, I had him from 8 to 10...then from 2 to 5. His father took him from 10 to 2. I don't know what got into that kid. He's usually happy to see his mom and ready to leave with her. Today, he was happy enough to see her, but didn't want to leave. Even when I told him she'd soon be here, he said...I stay wi' you, Gammy. Makes my heart sing that he loves me that much cause God knows I adore him.
I haven't been writing much on here because my computer is messed up. I'll get back to writing more on my series Life With My Children soon.
I haven't been writing much on here because my computer is messed up. I'll get back to writing more on my series Life With My Children soon.
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