Okay, I kinda omitted details about the wedding and preparations. So, here goes.
With only six weeks to prepare, I was frantic. Joe and I decided to forego invitations, opting to send out announcements after the event. We decided to only invite family and very close friends. As mentioned before, my family were no-shows other than one uncle and his wife. Same with friends...only Al and Marion Kliemann attended. Joe's family and friends made up for it though. And I was so sick, I didn't even want to be there.
Three weeks before the wedding, the kids and I went dress shopping at Hudson's in downtown Detroit. Between us, Joe and I had decided I could pay up to $50 for a dress...which was a lot of money back in 1968. I found the perfect dress in Hudson's third floor...and only $38.00! It was a knee-length, sky blue chiffon that floated around me when I moved. I also found a perfectly matching length of blue mesh that I attached to a floral tiara for a headpiece and a pair of white cloth covered high-heel shoes that I dyed a matching blue. Another chore marked off my to-do list!
After a few instruction classes in the Serbian Church, the kids and I were ready to be baptized.
Two weeks before the wedding, we met Kum Walter and his wife Lillian at the Serbian Church.
The ceremony was short. Father Mijatovich said a short sermon, asked if we had fasted and heard our confessions. Then, with Kum and Kuma stood with me at the baptismal fount while Father liberally doused my head with water. Then it was Tammy's turn. Kum and Kuma's daughter, Pam, stood with Tammy as her Kuma, while she was similarly baptized. Then their son, Paul, stood with Buddy as his Kum. Father really dumped the water on him...saying afterwards he went easy on us girls because of our hair-do's...but Buddy got the works! It was a very solemn, beautiful and heart-warming ceremony.
Afterwards, Kum took us all out to dinner at a fine Italian restaurant and the kids, theirs and mine, felt very grown-up as they ordered their first Shirley Temples, while the adults had a bottle of fine wine...with which Kums toasted our conversion to the Serbian Orthodox Church. More about the Serbian Church in a later post.
Somehow, during those busy six weeks, Marion Kliemann found time to have a personal bridal shower for me. The women in the office as well as the wives of my male co-workers gave me boxes and boxes of lovely sexy lingerie.
After I went back to work after the wedding, Al Kliemann had a dinner-party for the whole office and their guests, as well as many realtors and office workers from other real estate offices, with whom I had worked and become friends with over the years, at a restaurant in Ann Arbor celebrating our wedding. We got many lovely wedding presents...including a solid silver tea service and an original oil painting and several hundred dollars in cash. I must add, I was so moved by all the love my friends lavished on me, I was in tears the whole evening!
A Serbian wedding is a beautiful ceremony. I just wish I hadn't been so sick. It wasn't until I attended another wedding, a few months later, as a Kuma to the daughter of another family friend, that I really understood what a lovely, solemn ceremony it truly is. It began with just Joe and me and the priest, Father Mijatovich, at the "high altar"...where we swore our vows to each other. Then the ceremony continued at the "low altar" with Kum Walter and Kuma Lillian attending us. Mine and Joe's hands were lightly tied together with a while handkerchief. The four of us walked around this table three times while the cantor chanted and spread incense.
Kum and Kuma, for their part, had to vow to help us with our religious growth in the Church.
The incense made me feel faint...and I was scared to death that I was going to pass out. Father thought so, too...and skipped or hurried through the last part of the ceremony. He introduced us to the guests as Mr and Mrs Joe Wussles...and added "somebody help him carry her out of here!"
Because I was so sick, we went back to the apartment so I could lie down for a bit. We ended up being nearly two hours late to our own wedding reception. Of course, there was a lot of catcalls and ribald teasing about us being too "eager" to wait until after the reception!
I was too sick to eat anything..but was told the buffet was terrific. I did take part in cutting the wedding cake and ate a small peice of that. Mostly, I sat at our table and let people come up and talk to me. Towards the end, I did dance with Joe. Afterwards, we stopped at the bar to speak to his Uncle George. Uncle George picked me up in a big bear hug, swung me around, and bellowed for everybody there to hear..."You belong to us, now!" It was a perfect ending for a day that would have been perfect...had I not been so sick.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 30
Once Joe makes up his mind to do something...he wants it done right away. Before I knew it, we had made an offer on a house in Highland Park...and made all the wedding arrangements for July 11.
In the meantime, the kids and I were spending a lot of time driving back and forth from Ypsilanti to Highland Park. Joe was teaching and coaching junior high school. He got lucky and stepped into a position vacated suddenly by another teacher. In the spring, he also coached sandlot baseball.
Joe wanted to be married in the Serbian church. Tammy, Buddy and I had to take a couple of classes in the religion and be baptized. One Sunday afternoon Joe took us to visit his Kumas...Serbian Godparents. We...they and I, liked each other right away. Therefore, it was okay with me when Joe wanted them to be our Kumas at our wedding...same as best man and bridesmaid. Also, they were Kumas to the kids and me when we were baptized.
It's not easy to plan a wedding in six weeks. It can be done and is a lot of work...but I did it.
The only real blight on my wedding ...well, the first one anyway...is that Tammy and Buddy could not be there. Mom and Dad came to Ypsi and got them over the Fourth...as always. I campaigned my best to be allowed to take them with us to Florida on our honeymoon...but Joe refused. He wanted that time for just us. And we were going to be staying with his relatives.
On the day of our wedding I was sicker than a dog! I woke up that morning with a 102 temperature! I went to Kuma's and spent the day, getting dressed for the wedding there. Kuma Lillian doped me up with cold medicine. My wedding is a blurred memory, what with the fever and meds. Our reception was held at a bowling alley owned by friends of Joe's family. They put on a great buffet at no charge to us. My family was represented only by my Uncle Calvin and his wife, Janet. My boss, Al Klieman and his wife Marion were my only friends there. Joe's family came out in force. There must have been 50 or more that I met for the first time. And never remembered any of them!
Instead of leaving on our honeymoon that night as we had planned, since I was so sick we went back to Joe's apartment for the night. I laid in his arms and cried that night because my kids were not at my wedding. So, the next morning when we were all packed and in the car for the trip to Florida, Joe said we were going to Indiana first! I was glad we were going to see my kids...but still tried to talk him into taking them to Florida with us...but with no success. We got to Mom's about noon and stayed a few hours before leaving for Florida. The first thing Tammy said to Joe was, "Can I call you Daddy, now?" Joe just beamed! and said he would be proud for her and Buddy to call him Daddy....and from that moment on, they did.
In the meantime, the kids and I were spending a lot of time driving back and forth from Ypsilanti to Highland Park. Joe was teaching and coaching junior high school. He got lucky and stepped into a position vacated suddenly by another teacher. In the spring, he also coached sandlot baseball.
Joe wanted to be married in the Serbian church. Tammy, Buddy and I had to take a couple of classes in the religion and be baptized. One Sunday afternoon Joe took us to visit his Kumas...Serbian Godparents. We...they and I, liked each other right away. Therefore, it was okay with me when Joe wanted them to be our Kumas at our wedding...same as best man and bridesmaid. Also, they were Kumas to the kids and me when we were baptized.
It's not easy to plan a wedding in six weeks. It can be done and is a lot of work...but I did it.
The only real blight on my wedding ...well, the first one anyway...is that Tammy and Buddy could not be there. Mom and Dad came to Ypsi and got them over the Fourth...as always. I campaigned my best to be allowed to take them with us to Florida on our honeymoon...but Joe refused. He wanted that time for just us. And we were going to be staying with his relatives.
On the day of our wedding I was sicker than a dog! I woke up that morning with a 102 temperature! I went to Kuma's and spent the day, getting dressed for the wedding there. Kuma Lillian doped me up with cold medicine. My wedding is a blurred memory, what with the fever and meds. Our reception was held at a bowling alley owned by friends of Joe's family. They put on a great buffet at no charge to us. My family was represented only by my Uncle Calvin and his wife, Janet. My boss, Al Klieman and his wife Marion were my only friends there. Joe's family came out in force. There must have been 50 or more that I met for the first time. And never remembered any of them!
Instead of leaving on our honeymoon that night as we had planned, since I was so sick we went back to Joe's apartment for the night. I laid in his arms and cried that night because my kids were not at my wedding. So, the next morning when we were all packed and in the car for the trip to Florida, Joe said we were going to Indiana first! I was glad we were going to see my kids...but still tried to talk him into taking them to Florida with us...but with no success. We got to Mom's about noon and stayed a few hours before leaving for Florida. The first thing Tammy said to Joe was, "Can I call you Daddy, now?" Joe just beamed! and said he would be proud for her and Buddy to call him Daddy....and from that moment on, they did.
Monday, August 17, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 29
During the period Joe and I were broken up, my children faced another heart-breaking situation.
Over the years, I had stayed in touch with their father, Meredith (Mark) Reed. Not real closely, but he would call once or twice a year and I sent school pictures and updates at least once a year.
In April that year he called and said he was being shipped to Viet Nam and wanted to see the kids before he shipped out. He said he was going to Grand Rapids to see his folks and would stop by Ypsilanti on his way there.
You never saw two such excited kids! That's all they talked about all week. On Saturday we spruced up the house 'til it shined. I even bought two bouquets of fresh flowers for the living room. Now, I had tried to dampen their excitement a little...hoping to dull the disappointment if he didn't show up, by telling them all the reasons he might not be able to visit. Like...not enough money to make the trip....early deployment...illness, him or his wife....etc. Yet, their excitement was contagious and I got caught up in it, too.
So, then Saturday...then Sunday...came and went with not so much as a phone call. Tammy and Buddy were devastated. They cried off and on all Saturday night and all day Sunday. And I cried, too....for the pain they were feeling.
That was the end of any cordial feelings I had towards my ex-husband. Hurting me was one thing, but hurting my kids was unforgiveable. Except for one Christmas present each the next Christmas, they had no contact with their father until they were grown and contacted him on their own. To this day, and they're both 50 years old at this writing, they have never seen him since they were two and three years old.
Over the years, I had stayed in touch with their father, Meredith (Mark) Reed. Not real closely, but he would call once or twice a year and I sent school pictures and updates at least once a year.
In April that year he called and said he was being shipped to Viet Nam and wanted to see the kids before he shipped out. He said he was going to Grand Rapids to see his folks and would stop by Ypsilanti on his way there.
You never saw two such excited kids! That's all they talked about all week. On Saturday we spruced up the house 'til it shined. I even bought two bouquets of fresh flowers for the living room. Now, I had tried to dampen their excitement a little...hoping to dull the disappointment if he didn't show up, by telling them all the reasons he might not be able to visit. Like...not enough money to make the trip....early deployment...illness, him or his wife....etc. Yet, their excitement was contagious and I got caught up in it, too.
So, then Saturday...then Sunday...came and went with not so much as a phone call. Tammy and Buddy were devastated. They cried off and on all Saturday night and all day Sunday. And I cried, too....for the pain they were feeling.
That was the end of any cordial feelings I had towards my ex-husband. Hurting me was one thing, but hurting my kids was unforgiveable. Except for one Christmas present each the next Christmas, they had no contact with their father until they were grown and contacted him on their own. To this day, and they're both 50 years old at this writing, they have never seen him since they were two and three years old.
Friday, August 14, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 28
Once again, life was good. We were all settled in our new home. Joe was back in school for his last semester...hopefully. I was working at a job I loved, had a part-time job I equally loved, a man I was crazy in love with...and who apparently felt the same way about me. Tammy and Buddy were happy with all of it!
Tammy had her first crush! Four young men...18 to 22 years old...musicians, all...shared the house next door to us...we shared the same driveway. The next nearest neighbor was at least a quarter mile away. The boys took a liking to my kids and spent a lot of time outside playing with them. I had my reservations about them, even though they were always pleasant and polite to me, even offering to baby-sit after school on the days Joe had classes. Too often, when I talked to a couple of them, I could tell they were high on something...and not alcohol. I forbid Tammy and Buddy to go into their house at any time. Of course whenever Joe and I discussed the boys in her hearing, she became very hostile and defensive of the boys.
We lived on Freeland Road for only a year. While it was Tammy's and Buddy's favorite of the places we lived, it was my least favorite. I liked living in an apartment in town where I didn't have to worry about mowing grass and shoveling snow. Also since I often had to go out in the evenings to settle problems, show apartments to prospective tenants, collect rents, or just make inspections, I had several miles to drive. Joe was wonderful. He never complained about the hours I worked. And the small management company I started was growing. That winter I had 20 apartments in six buildings plus five single dwellings...all rented to college students. The apartments were rented furnished with utilities paid. It seemed like the entire months of September and October I was out every evening for two or three hours.
A serial killer was on the loose that year, killing mainly college girls in Ypsi and Ann Arbor. One week, early the next summer, Avanelle's son, Gary...came out to stay a few days with us. He got bored and went home after a couple of days...while I was at work. He walked home...a good five miles cross-country, through fields. He told his mother that he walked near a dead animal...it stuck to high heaven. A couple days later a 14 year old girl's body was found in that field.
Eventually, the serial killer was caught...not long after I moved to Highland Park. Come to find out...the killer had been one of my tenants for a few months, sharing a house on River Street with several other boys! I had no contact with him, other than saying hi, how are ya...when I'd visit the house. My contact there was just one boy...a graduate student who was responsible for collecting the rent from the boys sharing the house...anywhere from five to eight at any one time.
In addition to my two jobs, Joe was having trouble with another class. It was a math class involving algebraic formulations. Now algebra was the only class I got below an A in in highschool. I had a C one semester in it. Nevertheless, I went to the library and took out algebra books and taught myself enough that I could help Joe with his class. Actually, I did his papers for him, all A's I might add...and he barely passed the tests. But did pass the course with a C.
Joe got his degree in January and we began making plans to get married. Then disaster struck again. On Monday I took the afternoon off work so we could go get our blood tests and apply for our license. When I went home to pick him up...he wasn't there. Instead, there was a note saying he was sorry, but just didn't think he was ready to get married. Just like that he was gone.
I was heart-broken and so were Tammy and Buddy. My life-saver was Dr. Hoff. He was furious at Joe and tried to get hold of him but Joe would not take his calls, nor mine. For the next few months the kids and I spent a lot of time with Bob Hoff and his son who was Buddy's age. I can't say I was never attracted to him, but valued our friendship too much to let him know. After I realized that I was attracted sexually to him, I backed off on the time we spent together and encouraged him in his pursuit of other women...until one of his students began spending too much time at his house. Then I really lit into him over it, asking how he could be so dumb to take such a chance with his position and job. After that he stopped seeing so much of Alice and decided to take a sabbatical. Well, I guess he had been working on it for awhile. That summer he planned to take five years, spending two years in Norway, one year in Germany and two years in a couple African countries studying their physical education systems.
The middle of May, Joe came back. Not exactly back...he still lived in Highland Park where he was teaching middle school...but back into my life. I won't say I welcomed him with open arms...even though I loved him, I was hurt and angry. But he wooed me non-stop. Nightly phone calls. Flowers. Gifts for the kids. He would even call the house and talk to Tammy and Buddy in the hour between when they got home from school and I got home from work.
I was still mixed up and didn't know whether to take Joe back or not when I talked to Bob Hoff about it. Then Bob really threw me for a loop. He said he was the wrong person to ask that advice because he, himself, was in love with me and wanted the kids and me to go to Europe with him. But the proposal he made was that he would pay our way...until we decided whether or not to get married...and he thought we should give it at least six months together before we made that decision. I said no way, jose! I was tempted, I admit. I wasn't in love with him but did like and respect him and can't deny there was a certain sexual attraction. He asked me not to make a decision right away but to think about it. He had two weeks before he had to finalize his plans with the school.
Well...
I decided to take those two weeks and see if I could salvage my relationship with Joe or not. At the end of the time, I had to tell Bob that Joe and I were engaged and proudly show him my diamond.
Did I make the right decision? I have often thought how different our lives would have been had I gone with Bob. How the kids lives would have been enriched by five years in Europe and Africa. But I loved Joe and wanted to spend my life with him.
Tammy had her first crush! Four young men...18 to 22 years old...musicians, all...shared the house next door to us...we shared the same driveway. The next nearest neighbor was at least a quarter mile away. The boys took a liking to my kids and spent a lot of time outside playing with them. I had my reservations about them, even though they were always pleasant and polite to me, even offering to baby-sit after school on the days Joe had classes. Too often, when I talked to a couple of them, I could tell they were high on something...and not alcohol. I forbid Tammy and Buddy to go into their house at any time. Of course whenever Joe and I discussed the boys in her hearing, she became very hostile and defensive of the boys.
We lived on Freeland Road for only a year. While it was Tammy's and Buddy's favorite of the places we lived, it was my least favorite. I liked living in an apartment in town where I didn't have to worry about mowing grass and shoveling snow. Also since I often had to go out in the evenings to settle problems, show apartments to prospective tenants, collect rents, or just make inspections, I had several miles to drive. Joe was wonderful. He never complained about the hours I worked. And the small management company I started was growing. That winter I had 20 apartments in six buildings plus five single dwellings...all rented to college students. The apartments were rented furnished with utilities paid. It seemed like the entire months of September and October I was out every evening for two or three hours.
A serial killer was on the loose that year, killing mainly college girls in Ypsi and Ann Arbor. One week, early the next summer, Avanelle's son, Gary...came out to stay a few days with us. He got bored and went home after a couple of days...while I was at work. He walked home...a good five miles cross-country, through fields. He told his mother that he walked near a dead animal...it stuck to high heaven. A couple days later a 14 year old girl's body was found in that field.
Eventually, the serial killer was caught...not long after I moved to Highland Park. Come to find out...the killer had been one of my tenants for a few months, sharing a house on River Street with several other boys! I had no contact with him, other than saying hi, how are ya...when I'd visit the house. My contact there was just one boy...a graduate student who was responsible for collecting the rent from the boys sharing the house...anywhere from five to eight at any one time.
In addition to my two jobs, Joe was having trouble with another class. It was a math class involving algebraic formulations. Now algebra was the only class I got below an A in in highschool. I had a C one semester in it. Nevertheless, I went to the library and took out algebra books and taught myself enough that I could help Joe with his class. Actually, I did his papers for him, all A's I might add...and he barely passed the tests. But did pass the course with a C.
Joe got his degree in January and we began making plans to get married. Then disaster struck again. On Monday I took the afternoon off work so we could go get our blood tests and apply for our license. When I went home to pick him up...he wasn't there. Instead, there was a note saying he was sorry, but just didn't think he was ready to get married. Just like that he was gone.
I was heart-broken and so were Tammy and Buddy. My life-saver was Dr. Hoff. He was furious at Joe and tried to get hold of him but Joe would not take his calls, nor mine. For the next few months the kids and I spent a lot of time with Bob Hoff and his son who was Buddy's age. I can't say I was never attracted to him, but valued our friendship too much to let him know. After I realized that I was attracted sexually to him, I backed off on the time we spent together and encouraged him in his pursuit of other women...until one of his students began spending too much time at his house. Then I really lit into him over it, asking how he could be so dumb to take such a chance with his position and job. After that he stopped seeing so much of Alice and decided to take a sabbatical. Well, I guess he had been working on it for awhile. That summer he planned to take five years, spending two years in Norway, one year in Germany and two years in a couple African countries studying their physical education systems.
The middle of May, Joe came back. Not exactly back...he still lived in Highland Park where he was teaching middle school...but back into my life. I won't say I welcomed him with open arms...even though I loved him, I was hurt and angry. But he wooed me non-stop. Nightly phone calls. Flowers. Gifts for the kids. He would even call the house and talk to Tammy and Buddy in the hour between when they got home from school and I got home from work.
I was still mixed up and didn't know whether to take Joe back or not when I talked to Bob Hoff about it. Then Bob really threw me for a loop. He said he was the wrong person to ask that advice because he, himself, was in love with me and wanted the kids and me to go to Europe with him. But the proposal he made was that he would pay our way...until we decided whether or not to get married...and he thought we should give it at least six months together before we made that decision. I said no way, jose! I was tempted, I admit. I wasn't in love with him but did like and respect him and can't deny there was a certain sexual attraction. He asked me not to make a decision right away but to think about it. He had two weeks before he had to finalize his plans with the school.
Well...
I decided to take those two weeks and see if I could salvage my relationship with Joe or not. At the end of the time, I had to tell Bob that Joe and I were engaged and proudly show him my diamond.
Did I make the right decision? I have often thought how different our lives would have been had I gone with Bob. How the kids lives would have been enriched by five years in Europe and Africa. But I loved Joe and wanted to spend my life with him.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 27
The two years we lived on Hamilton were a very memorable period in mine and the kids lives. So much happened those two years that I could probably write a blog a day for a year about all the things we did and that happened.
The most important to all three of us was meeting Joe. It didn't take long for him to become an integral part of our lives...Tammy and Buddy as much as me. Actually, many times I , kiddingly, teased him about marrying me just to get my kids. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I had a part-time job managing land contracts for a few people. In 1965, I added to my little management enterprise by taking on several apartment buildings...renting them and collecting rents. My experiences with that are a whole bunch of blogs on their own, so I won't go into them here. But, the extra money made our financial situation much better. I even managed to save a few hundred dollars here and there and decided to buy the building where we lived.
After a couple months of negotiations, the owner and I decided on a price...very reasonable, too. Except, he wouldn't carry the mortgage. Being a single mother, the bank wanted a big down payment...much more than I had. If I remember correctly, I was paying $11,000 for the building; the bank wanted twenty percent down...which was about three times the amount I had saved.
At work, I attended a real estate closing in the absence of my boss who was on vacation. After the closing, the attorney...with whom I had become friends with over the years...making small talk, asked what was new in my life. I told him about the building I wanted to buy. To make a long story short..he called me a couple days later and offered to help me out with the purchase...he would put up the money and I would make payments to him. We made an appointment for me to meet with him later that week to discuss the particulars.
Joe was taking a summer course at Eastern and kept Tammy and Buddy during the day...until time for them to go to Indiana.
Well, on the day I was to meet with the attorney, I got a phone call from Buddy. He was so excited I could barely understand him. "Mom...don't sign any papers, the house is on fire.!"...and he hung up! I must have screamed because everybody in the office was soon gathered around me asking what was wrong. I was shaking all over as I repeated what Buddy had said. I said I had to leave right away and go see what was going on. My boss wouldn't let me drive...he insisted on taking me.
When I got to the house, it, indeed, was on fire...or had been. Fire trucks and firemen were all around it. My main concern was Joe and the kids..I couldn't see them anywhere. When firemen tried to block our way, my boss told them who I was and they told me my family was across the street. At the same time, I heard Tammy and Buddy screaming..."Mommy...Mommy" and I rushed over to them, hugging them tight while we all cried. Joe had his arms around all three of us while he tried to explain what had happened.
The kids downstairs...and Buddy...had decided to roast hot dogs on the cement porch. Buddy said he left and went upstairs after he ate his hot dog. Then the fire must have got out of control, because Joe said Tammy and Buddy were in their bedrooms when he smelled smoke and heard the kids downstairs yelling. He said he didn't worry at first...until smoke started filling the living room. About that time, Buddy who had gone downstairs to see what they kids there were yelling about, ran in and said the house was on fire.
After Joe got the kids out he said he hoped I had not signed any papers on the house! Then he gave Buddy a dime and told him to go to the corner store and call me. He said Buddy was supposed to tell me the house was on fire, but that they were all okay.
All the fire damage was to the downstairs living room. But there was a lot of smoke damage, as well as holes in the walls made by the firemen...even in our living room upstairs. Everything I owned was sooty and stinky.
Joe, the kids, and I went to Avanelle's. The next day, a week early, I took Tammy and Buddy to Indiana. Joe went home to Highland Park and I stayed with Avanelle while looking for another place for us to live.
As it happened, one of the buildings I managed was vacant. It was a farm house just a few miles from town, with two big bedrooms, living room, kitchen, bath and utility room...as well as a basement with an outside entrance. It was perfect...except for being out in the country!
From the apartment, I took the wood furniture...dressers, chests, tables, chairs, ...the TV...lamps....dishes...and other kitchen stuff. I tried to save our clothes and linens. But, after numerous washings, they still smelled so I ended up having to scrap nearly everything. There went my savings...what with a months rent and deposit and new clothes for all of us plus bedding, towels, etc.
Bless my family! Again they came through for me. Uncle Speed and Jim, Avanelle's husband, helped me move what I could from the apartment into the new house. Avanelle and Phyllis helped me scrub everything down to get rid of the smoke smell. Uncle Troy bought me a couch and two chairs at an auction sale. Uncle Speed gave me a double bed. I bought a set of twin beds at a used furniture store, including mattress and springs. By the time the kids came home the middle of August, everything was ready for them...they had a home again.
The most important to all three of us was meeting Joe. It didn't take long for him to become an integral part of our lives...Tammy and Buddy as much as me. Actually, many times I , kiddingly, teased him about marrying me just to get my kids. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I had a part-time job managing land contracts for a few people. In 1965, I added to my little management enterprise by taking on several apartment buildings...renting them and collecting rents. My experiences with that are a whole bunch of blogs on their own, so I won't go into them here. But, the extra money made our financial situation much better. I even managed to save a few hundred dollars here and there and decided to buy the building where we lived.
After a couple months of negotiations, the owner and I decided on a price...very reasonable, too. Except, he wouldn't carry the mortgage. Being a single mother, the bank wanted a big down payment...much more than I had. If I remember correctly, I was paying $11,000 for the building; the bank wanted twenty percent down...which was about three times the amount I had saved.
At work, I attended a real estate closing in the absence of my boss who was on vacation. After the closing, the attorney...with whom I had become friends with over the years...making small talk, asked what was new in my life. I told him about the building I wanted to buy. To make a long story short..he called me a couple days later and offered to help me out with the purchase...he would put up the money and I would make payments to him. We made an appointment for me to meet with him later that week to discuss the particulars.
Joe was taking a summer course at Eastern and kept Tammy and Buddy during the day...until time for them to go to Indiana.
Well, on the day I was to meet with the attorney, I got a phone call from Buddy. He was so excited I could barely understand him. "Mom...don't sign any papers, the house is on fire.!"...and he hung up! I must have screamed because everybody in the office was soon gathered around me asking what was wrong. I was shaking all over as I repeated what Buddy had said. I said I had to leave right away and go see what was going on. My boss wouldn't let me drive...he insisted on taking me.
When I got to the house, it, indeed, was on fire...or had been. Fire trucks and firemen were all around it. My main concern was Joe and the kids..I couldn't see them anywhere. When firemen tried to block our way, my boss told them who I was and they told me my family was across the street. At the same time, I heard Tammy and Buddy screaming..."Mommy...Mommy" and I rushed over to them, hugging them tight while we all cried. Joe had his arms around all three of us while he tried to explain what had happened.
The kids downstairs...and Buddy...had decided to roast hot dogs on the cement porch. Buddy said he left and went upstairs after he ate his hot dog. Then the fire must have got out of control, because Joe said Tammy and Buddy were in their bedrooms when he smelled smoke and heard the kids downstairs yelling. He said he didn't worry at first...until smoke started filling the living room. About that time, Buddy who had gone downstairs to see what they kids there were yelling about, ran in and said the house was on fire.
After Joe got the kids out he said he hoped I had not signed any papers on the house! Then he gave Buddy a dime and told him to go to the corner store and call me. He said Buddy was supposed to tell me the house was on fire, but that they were all okay.
All the fire damage was to the downstairs living room. But there was a lot of smoke damage, as well as holes in the walls made by the firemen...even in our living room upstairs. Everything I owned was sooty and stinky.
Joe, the kids, and I went to Avanelle's. The next day, a week early, I took Tammy and Buddy to Indiana. Joe went home to Highland Park and I stayed with Avanelle while looking for another place for us to live.
As it happened, one of the buildings I managed was vacant. It was a farm house just a few miles from town, with two big bedrooms, living room, kitchen, bath and utility room...as well as a basement with an outside entrance. It was perfect...except for being out in the country!
From the apartment, I took the wood furniture...dressers, chests, tables, chairs, ...the TV...lamps....dishes...and other kitchen stuff. I tried to save our clothes and linens. But, after numerous washings, they still smelled so I ended up having to scrap nearly everything. There went my savings...what with a months rent and deposit and new clothes for all of us plus bedding, towels, etc.
Bless my family! Again they came through for me. Uncle Speed and Jim, Avanelle's husband, helped me move what I could from the apartment into the new house. Avanelle and Phyllis helped me scrub everything down to get rid of the smoke smell. Uncle Troy bought me a couch and two chairs at an auction sale. Uncle Speed gave me a double bed. I bought a set of twin beds at a used furniture store, including mattress and springs. By the time the kids came home the middle of August, everything was ready for them...they had a home again.
Monday, August 3, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 26
Granny (Polly Shepherd) loved the Tigers baseball team. She never missed watching a televised game. Joe had some friends on the Tigers team and he tried to get tickets for her, but she couldn't get around very good and we decided there was just no way she could ever attend a game. Back then, as with most public places, Tiger Stadium was not very handicapped-friendly.
Another thing she wanted to do was go to Canada. So, one Sunday when Joe wasn't with us, Phyllis and I packed a picnic lunch and then picked up Granny and Aunt Dora. We wanted to surprise them so we told them we were going to a park for a picnic. We dared the kids to tell them where we were actually going.
When I got on the expressway, Granny...in the front seat with Phyllis and me, said, "Lordy, what park are we going to?"
The kids snickered...jumping up and down in their anxiety over keeping the secret, had Aunt Dora bickering at them to keep still.
Granny finally figured out where we were going, but not until I got in line to go through the tunnel to Windsor. She grumbled all the time we were in the tunnel, saying she hoped that wasn't the only way back. I told her it wasn't and we would not take the tunnel back home.
As I drove along the road by the river on the Canadian side, I pointed out the Ambassador Bridge and told her that's the way we would go home! She said absolutely not! At which, we all laughed and I explained the only three ways home were the tunnel, the bridge...or swimming.
We found a good parking spot by the river and near a playground for the kids and had our picnic. Granny and Aunt Dora just enjoyed looking at the river and watching the boats.
After a couple of hours, we were ready to leave. I took the bridge home, and, forgetting that Granny was scared of it, stopped near the center so Phyllis and I could get out and look at a sunken ship that was in the process of being rescued. Granny yelled at us and said "Get in this car right this minute and get me off this bridge!" Opps!
On Granny's 75th birthday, which was a Sunday, I planned a surprise for her. Mom and Dad and the kids came up for the weekend...which wasn't unusual so Granny didn't think anything about that. Granny and Aunt Dora went to both Sunday School and Church every Sunday morning. That Sunday, between Sunday School and Church, Granny's entire family marched into the church. Mom and Dad and kids, Troy and Susie and kids, Darvin and Shirley and kids, Lee and Syreda, Calvin, Phyllis and Suetta and me and my kids. Talk about a surprise! The look on Granny's face was priceless! Of course, Aunt Dora was surprised, too..I hadn't told her for fear she'd let the cat out of the bag...but she let Granny think she'd known it all along!
After church, we all gathered at Troy and Susie's for dinner and birthday cake and gifts...lots of gifts. Granny said she was 75 years old and it was her very first birthday party!
Another thing she wanted to do was go to Canada. So, one Sunday when Joe wasn't with us, Phyllis and I packed a picnic lunch and then picked up Granny and Aunt Dora. We wanted to surprise them so we told them we were going to a park for a picnic. We dared the kids to tell them where we were actually going.
When I got on the expressway, Granny...in the front seat with Phyllis and me, said, "Lordy, what park are we going to?"
The kids snickered...jumping up and down in their anxiety over keeping the secret, had Aunt Dora bickering at them to keep still.
Granny finally figured out where we were going, but not until I got in line to go through the tunnel to Windsor. She grumbled all the time we were in the tunnel, saying she hoped that wasn't the only way back. I told her it wasn't and we would not take the tunnel back home.
As I drove along the road by the river on the Canadian side, I pointed out the Ambassador Bridge and told her that's the way we would go home! She said absolutely not! At which, we all laughed and I explained the only three ways home were the tunnel, the bridge...or swimming.
We found a good parking spot by the river and near a playground for the kids and had our picnic. Granny and Aunt Dora just enjoyed looking at the river and watching the boats.
After a couple of hours, we were ready to leave. I took the bridge home, and, forgetting that Granny was scared of it, stopped near the center so Phyllis and I could get out and look at a sunken ship that was in the process of being rescued. Granny yelled at us and said "Get in this car right this minute and get me off this bridge!" Opps!
On Granny's 75th birthday, which was a Sunday, I planned a surprise for her. Mom and Dad and the kids came up for the weekend...which wasn't unusual so Granny didn't think anything about that. Granny and Aunt Dora went to both Sunday School and Church every Sunday morning. That Sunday, between Sunday School and Church, Granny's entire family marched into the church. Mom and Dad and kids, Troy and Susie and kids, Darvin and Shirley and kids, Lee and Syreda, Calvin, Phyllis and Suetta and me and my kids. Talk about a surprise! The look on Granny's face was priceless! Of course, Aunt Dora was surprised, too..I hadn't told her for fear she'd let the cat out of the bag...but she let Granny think she'd known it all along!
After church, we all gathered at Troy and Susie's for dinner and birthday cake and gifts...lots of gifts. Granny said she was 75 years old and it was her very first birthday party!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 25
The weekend we went to Jackson to see the Cascades was the start of my two weeks vacation. On Sunday morning over breakfast Joe suggested we go to Niagara Falls. Talk about sponteneity...within two hours we were packed and on the road!
Driving through Canada, the trip only took about six hours. We got to the falls around five and checked into a motel just two miles from the falls. Of course, immediately after checking in, we headed for the falls. And I was blown away. Such power. Such magnificience! All I could think of was a partial bible verse..."What God has wrought!"
We stopped in a snack bar and ate supper then headed for the Wax Museum. Joe and Buddy liked the medieval torture chamber. Tammy liked the costumes from movie scenes. I liked the President exhibit. They were so life-like! Now, remember, it's late...near closing time and we were the only tourists in there. So....we were standing in front of the Lincoln exhibit...I don't even remember what the setting was...all I know, is out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move! And I screamed! I said...that's no statue, he moved. Joe laughed at me...and so did the kids. They finally convinced me it was animated...but I was still feeling unsettled and in a hurry to get out of there!
The next day, Monday, we spent the morning just walking around the falls then took a ride over to the locks...I don't remember the name...but it was interesting. We watched a big ship go from one lock to another. I don't know what that area is like today...I'm sure its changed...but back then, we were close enough to the ship to talk to the sailors on board. Nothing profound, just exchanged greetings and one of the sailors asked Buddy if he would like to be a sailor someday. Buddy said no way...that he wanted to fly planes! Tammy said she would like to and everybody laughed...to think of a girl on a ship!
After a late lunch, we went back to the falls and did all the touristy stuff...put on raincoats and hats and went through the tunnels that come out under the falls and got soaking wet in spite of the protective gear. After checking on the cost, we passed on riding the Maid of the Mist, a boat that went up to the falls.
We drove across the bridge into Buffalo, New York and parked by the river. We all walked on rocks strewn across the river, while I, with my heart in my throat, kept cautioning Tammy and Buddy to be careful. I had visions of one, or both, of them falling in the water and being washed downstream and over the falls. From where we were, it was just a very short distance to the falls. We could feel the spray and hear the roar.
Before we went back to the motel, we rode this ride...as one car went down this really steep hill, it pulled another car up. Again, I was scared to death! And Joe and the kids teased me unmercifully over it. When we got to the bottom, I refused to ride it back up...so we had a long uphill walk to our car.
We got up early the next morning, ate a hurried breakfast and made a last visit to the falls before starting out for home.
The Niagara Falls trip was so wonderful, I didn't think we could ever cap it. But, Wednesday morning, Joe said he had a surprise for us and wouldn't tell us what it was. We stopped by Avanelle's...Joe called Avanelle into the kitchen and let her in on the surprise. When we got ready to leave, Avanelle and her three kids climbed into the car with us! Well, I didn't know where we were going, but knew I'd enjoy whatever it was with Avanelle along. I loved her and loved doing anything with her.
Joe drove down the expressway towards Detroit and I got my first hint when he got off in Dearborn. We went to the Henry Ford Musum and Village. I had gone there once before, on an eighth grade field trip. This was so much better! We took our time wandering around the museum and I don't think we missed a thing. Then we walked through the Village, even took a carriage ride. By the time we got home, I was completely tuckered out...the kids were all asleep within five minutes after getting in the car. But it was a wonderful day. I was sure nothing would ever top it.
But...leave it to Joe. He was determined that this would be my best vacation ever...and the last week my kids would be home for six weeks. The next morning, Thursday, Joe again rushed us through breakfast and into the car. This time we drove out to Aunt Susie's and picked up Altie, Doris and Kay...and went to Boblo Island. We all loved the boat ride even more than the amusement park. On the way back, we decided Boblo Island would be an annual outing...and so it became. As long as I lived in Michigan, we went to Boblo at least once each summer.
Friday morning, I loaded down the trunk with enough clothes for me for a week and for Tammy and Buddy for six weeks. First, I took Joe home to Highland Park, then the kids and I stopped and picked up the girls, Altie and Doris, and went to Indiana.
After the hectic busy week I had just spent, the week of just laying around at Mom's was heaven! I missed Joe something terrible, but loved being with my family for a few days. Too soon it was time to kiss my kids goodbye and admonish them to behave for Grandma. All three of us were crying when I finally drove away. As I glanced in the rear view mirror, I saw Buddy...standing all alone..in the middle of the road, waving goodbye, crying his little heart out. That image of my sad little boy has haunted my dreams ever since.
Yet, I knew I was doing the right thing....and both Buddy and Tammy would be fine within an hour or so. They loved their grandparents and looked forward to these few weeks all year long.
Driving through Canada, the trip only took about six hours. We got to the falls around five and checked into a motel just two miles from the falls. Of course, immediately after checking in, we headed for the falls. And I was blown away. Such power. Such magnificience! All I could think of was a partial bible verse..."What God has wrought!"
We stopped in a snack bar and ate supper then headed for the Wax Museum. Joe and Buddy liked the medieval torture chamber. Tammy liked the costumes from movie scenes. I liked the President exhibit. They were so life-like! Now, remember, it's late...near closing time and we were the only tourists in there. So....we were standing in front of the Lincoln exhibit...I don't even remember what the setting was...all I know, is out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move! And I screamed! I said...that's no statue, he moved. Joe laughed at me...and so did the kids. They finally convinced me it was animated...but I was still feeling unsettled and in a hurry to get out of there!
The next day, Monday, we spent the morning just walking around the falls then took a ride over to the locks...I don't remember the name...but it was interesting. We watched a big ship go from one lock to another. I don't know what that area is like today...I'm sure its changed...but back then, we were close enough to the ship to talk to the sailors on board. Nothing profound, just exchanged greetings and one of the sailors asked Buddy if he would like to be a sailor someday. Buddy said no way...that he wanted to fly planes! Tammy said she would like to and everybody laughed...to think of a girl on a ship!
After a late lunch, we went back to the falls and did all the touristy stuff...put on raincoats and hats and went through the tunnels that come out under the falls and got soaking wet in spite of the protective gear. After checking on the cost, we passed on riding the Maid of the Mist, a boat that went up to the falls.
We drove across the bridge into Buffalo, New York and parked by the river. We all walked on rocks strewn across the river, while I, with my heart in my throat, kept cautioning Tammy and Buddy to be careful. I had visions of one, or both, of them falling in the water and being washed downstream and over the falls. From where we were, it was just a very short distance to the falls. We could feel the spray and hear the roar.
Before we went back to the motel, we rode this ride...as one car went down this really steep hill, it pulled another car up. Again, I was scared to death! And Joe and the kids teased me unmercifully over it. When we got to the bottom, I refused to ride it back up...so we had a long uphill walk to our car.
We got up early the next morning, ate a hurried breakfast and made a last visit to the falls before starting out for home.
The Niagara Falls trip was so wonderful, I didn't think we could ever cap it. But, Wednesday morning, Joe said he had a surprise for us and wouldn't tell us what it was. We stopped by Avanelle's...Joe called Avanelle into the kitchen and let her in on the surprise. When we got ready to leave, Avanelle and her three kids climbed into the car with us! Well, I didn't know where we were going, but knew I'd enjoy whatever it was with Avanelle along. I loved her and loved doing anything with her.
Joe drove down the expressway towards Detroit and I got my first hint when he got off in Dearborn. We went to the Henry Ford Musum and Village. I had gone there once before, on an eighth grade field trip. This was so much better! We took our time wandering around the museum and I don't think we missed a thing. Then we walked through the Village, even took a carriage ride. By the time we got home, I was completely tuckered out...the kids were all asleep within five minutes after getting in the car. But it was a wonderful day. I was sure nothing would ever top it.
But...leave it to Joe. He was determined that this would be my best vacation ever...and the last week my kids would be home for six weeks. The next morning, Thursday, Joe again rushed us through breakfast and into the car. This time we drove out to Aunt Susie's and picked up Altie, Doris and Kay...and went to Boblo Island. We all loved the boat ride even more than the amusement park. On the way back, we decided Boblo Island would be an annual outing...and so it became. As long as I lived in Michigan, we went to Boblo at least once each summer.
Friday morning, I loaded down the trunk with enough clothes for me for a week and for Tammy and Buddy for six weeks. First, I took Joe home to Highland Park, then the kids and I stopped and picked up the girls, Altie and Doris, and went to Indiana.
After the hectic busy week I had just spent, the week of just laying around at Mom's was heaven! I missed Joe something terrible, but loved being with my family for a few days. Too soon it was time to kiss my kids goodbye and admonish them to behave for Grandma. All three of us were crying when I finally drove away. As I glanced in the rear view mirror, I saw Buddy...standing all alone..in the middle of the road, waving goodbye, crying his little heart out. That image of my sad little boy has haunted my dreams ever since.
Yet, I knew I was doing the right thing....and both Buddy and Tammy would be fine within an hour or so. They loved their grandparents and looked forward to these few weeks all year long.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 24
One Saturday while I was cleaning, Joe and the kids got into a water fight. It started outside...Joe sent Tammy upstairs to our apartment to get him a glass of ice water. She stumbled on the bottom step and the entire glass of water spilled on Joe. Naturally, he had to retaliate. Soon, instead of glasses of water, Buddy is carrying a pan full...sloshing it on my newly waxed floor!
Furious, I flounced (how do you flounce?) out the door and with my arms akimbo (another strange word), yelled at Joe, who ignored me. I figured they were laughing so loud, they couldn't hear me so I founced on down the stairs, yelling at all three of them. Just as I got to the bottom step, I got a face full of water, I never did know who threw it...but I hmphhed and flounced right back up the stairs. (ok...I promise not to flounce anymore.)
Now, I wasn't going to be outdone! I dumped the mop water out and filled the bucket with cold water from the shower. Muttering, I'll show them....I flounced (oops) right back to the porch...right above the three of them rolling on the ground and laughing about me getting wet....and dumped the whole bucketful of water on them!
This day stands out in my memory as one of the most fun days Joe and the kids and I shared. For some reason, he had decided to spend the weekend in Ypsilanti instead of going home. We had planned earlier that morning to take a picnic to the park when my cleaning was done.
We never made it to the park. By the time we finished the water fight...with all of us at one time or other ending up in the shower with cold water running full blast, we were wading water in the house. It took us all working together, and every towel in the house, to get it mopped up.
Joe took us to the hot dog stand when everything was done and from there we stopped in at Avanelles. Somehow or other, the Cascades in Jackson came up. None of us had ever been there...and before I knew it, we had all piled into my car...Joe, Me, Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle, Gary, Mary, Debbie, Phyllis and Suetta...and were on our way to Jackson.
We spent several hours at the Cascades...which were beautiful...because we just had to wait until dark to see them all lit up. It was a perfect ending to a perfect summer day.
Silly, isn't it? The things one remembers.
Furious, I flounced (how do you flounce?) out the door and with my arms akimbo (another strange word), yelled at Joe, who ignored me. I figured they were laughing so loud, they couldn't hear me so I founced on down the stairs, yelling at all three of them. Just as I got to the bottom step, I got a face full of water, I never did know who threw it...but I hmphhed and flounced right back up the stairs. (ok...I promise not to flounce anymore.)
Now, I wasn't going to be outdone! I dumped the mop water out and filled the bucket with cold water from the shower. Muttering, I'll show them....I flounced (oops) right back to the porch...right above the three of them rolling on the ground and laughing about me getting wet....and dumped the whole bucketful of water on them!
This day stands out in my memory as one of the most fun days Joe and the kids and I shared. For some reason, he had decided to spend the weekend in Ypsilanti instead of going home. We had planned earlier that morning to take a picnic to the park when my cleaning was done.
We never made it to the park. By the time we finished the water fight...with all of us at one time or other ending up in the shower with cold water running full blast, we were wading water in the house. It took us all working together, and every towel in the house, to get it mopped up.
Joe took us to the hot dog stand when everything was done and from there we stopped in at Avanelles. Somehow or other, the Cascades in Jackson came up. None of us had ever been there...and before I knew it, we had all piled into my car...Joe, Me, Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle, Gary, Mary, Debbie, Phyllis and Suetta...and were on our way to Jackson.
We spent several hours at the Cascades...which were beautiful...because we just had to wait until dark to see them all lit up. It was a perfect ending to a perfect summer day.
Silly, isn't it? The things one remembers.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 23
Looking back, it seems like the children and I did a lot ...travelling to Indiana, visiting family and friends and we did. We did everything on the proverbial shoestring. We went to drive-in movies because kids under 12 were free, so I only had to pay for myself. We took popcorn and Kool-aid with us. We went to the Detroit Zoo at least once every summer because that was free. And we took our sandwiches and drinks with us.
The times I cherish most are the evenings we spent at home, alone. After Tammy and Buddy started school, we had a designated homework hour...right after supper. All three of us would sit at the kitchen table and I would help them with whatever they had to do. If they didn't have homework, we would play with flash cards..or I would write problems for them to work out.
Tammy's second grade teacher, at a parent teacher conference, told me she was concerned about Tammy. She said Tammy was clinging too much onto her and not playing with the other kids. Another time, she told me that Tammy's hair "smelled." There wasn't anything I could do about that. Tammy was a bed-wetter and I couldn't wash her hair in the mornings and send her to school with wet hair. We didn't have home hair-dryers back then...except for these bulky affairs with a hood. Tammy did not like school that year and did everything she could to get to stay home. At the end of the school year, after she had complained about Tammy all year, she suggested we keep Tammy in second grade another year. Not because of her work, Tammy was above average in everything, but because the teacher felt Tammy was too immature.
I worried and prayed and fretted about what to do. The decision was mine. In the end, I decided since she was intelligent enough to do the required work, it might do more harm than good to hold her back. Holding her back a year would put her in the same grade as Buddy and I was afraid that would effect her self-confidence in the future.
When she began the third grade, I talked to her teacher and told her about the concerns the second grade teacher had. But...every parent-teacher conference that year was upbeat and positive. She loved Tammy and said, in her opinion, the other teacher had not liked her...and tried to find fault with her. Tammy made friends with the other girls in her class that year and was eager to go to school every morning. What a difference a good teacher can make!
Now Buddy was a different story. Every teacher all through school said he was the class clown. He would do anything, say anything, to make people laugh. Teachers loved him and couldn't say enough good things about him. He was above average in all his classes, finishing before other kids...and often getting punished for disrupting the class then with his humorous antics.
In the first grade, Buddy was placed on the "tutor" list. Student teachers from Eastern Michigan chose certain kids to work with, and Buddy was chosen by two college boys because of his speech problems. They were good, too. By the end of the year, Buddy was speaking as plainly as anybody. These two boys kind of adopted both Tammy and Buddy that year. Besides working with Buddy two or three evenings after school for an hour, they often came by the apartment on Saturday afternoons and took both kids for ice cream. I liked that because it gave me an hour or two to get the weekly house cleaning done. The whole apartment had brown asbestos tile floors that had to be mopped and waxed every Saturday. It was easier to do it when the kids were gone.
In the apartment on Hamilton, where we lived for over two years, the bathroom had a stall shower instead of a bathtub. I was still in the weekly bath mode in which I had been raised. On Sunday night, Tammy and Buddy took their weekly shower. Tammy had long thick hair. Washing it was a real chore...and combing it was even worse. She would scream when I came near her with a comb or brush. I tried my best to be gentle...but still she hated it.
Then, that summer of '65, all the kids in the family...Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle's three kids and Phyllis's daughter...and Kay all got head lice. I went to the drugstore and bought this purple ointment shampoo that would kill the lice. Tammy screamed and cried ...it burned. Buddy didn't mind it so much and Avanelle said her kids didn't either. Tammy had a sensitive scalp. After the lice shampoo...poor Tammy's hair was covered with nits. I brushed it and combed it with a fine toothed comb every night, trying to get out the nits. Still, after school started, the teacher sent her home saying she had head lice. She didn't. She had nits. So, I cut her hair. All that long, beautiful hair. It had never been cut. Both Tammy and I cried all the time I was cutting it. But that was the only way to get rid of all the nits.
A couple days later, we stopped by Avanelle's and Tammy felt much better when she saw Debbie's and Mary's very short hair!
The times I cherish most are the evenings we spent at home, alone. After Tammy and Buddy started school, we had a designated homework hour...right after supper. All three of us would sit at the kitchen table and I would help them with whatever they had to do. If they didn't have homework, we would play with flash cards..or I would write problems for them to work out.
Tammy's second grade teacher, at a parent teacher conference, told me she was concerned about Tammy. She said Tammy was clinging too much onto her and not playing with the other kids. Another time, she told me that Tammy's hair "smelled." There wasn't anything I could do about that. Tammy was a bed-wetter and I couldn't wash her hair in the mornings and send her to school with wet hair. We didn't have home hair-dryers back then...except for these bulky affairs with a hood. Tammy did not like school that year and did everything she could to get to stay home. At the end of the school year, after she had complained about Tammy all year, she suggested we keep Tammy in second grade another year. Not because of her work, Tammy was above average in everything, but because the teacher felt Tammy was too immature.
I worried and prayed and fretted about what to do. The decision was mine. In the end, I decided since she was intelligent enough to do the required work, it might do more harm than good to hold her back. Holding her back a year would put her in the same grade as Buddy and I was afraid that would effect her self-confidence in the future.
When she began the third grade, I talked to her teacher and told her about the concerns the second grade teacher had. But...every parent-teacher conference that year was upbeat and positive. She loved Tammy and said, in her opinion, the other teacher had not liked her...and tried to find fault with her. Tammy made friends with the other girls in her class that year and was eager to go to school every morning. What a difference a good teacher can make!
Now Buddy was a different story. Every teacher all through school said he was the class clown. He would do anything, say anything, to make people laugh. Teachers loved him and couldn't say enough good things about him. He was above average in all his classes, finishing before other kids...and often getting punished for disrupting the class then with his humorous antics.
In the first grade, Buddy was placed on the "tutor" list. Student teachers from Eastern Michigan chose certain kids to work with, and Buddy was chosen by two college boys because of his speech problems. They were good, too. By the end of the year, Buddy was speaking as plainly as anybody. These two boys kind of adopted both Tammy and Buddy that year. Besides working with Buddy two or three evenings after school for an hour, they often came by the apartment on Saturday afternoons and took both kids for ice cream. I liked that because it gave me an hour or two to get the weekly house cleaning done. The whole apartment had brown asbestos tile floors that had to be mopped and waxed every Saturday. It was easier to do it when the kids were gone.
In the apartment on Hamilton, where we lived for over two years, the bathroom had a stall shower instead of a bathtub. I was still in the weekly bath mode in which I had been raised. On Sunday night, Tammy and Buddy took their weekly shower. Tammy had long thick hair. Washing it was a real chore...and combing it was even worse. She would scream when I came near her with a comb or brush. I tried my best to be gentle...but still she hated it.
Then, that summer of '65, all the kids in the family...Tammy, Buddy, Avanelle's three kids and Phyllis's daughter...and Kay all got head lice. I went to the drugstore and bought this purple ointment shampoo that would kill the lice. Tammy screamed and cried ...it burned. Buddy didn't mind it so much and Avanelle said her kids didn't either. Tammy had a sensitive scalp. After the lice shampoo...poor Tammy's hair was covered with nits. I brushed it and combed it with a fine toothed comb every night, trying to get out the nits. Still, after school started, the teacher sent her home saying she had head lice. She didn't. She had nits. So, I cut her hair. All that long, beautiful hair. It had never been cut. Both Tammy and I cried all the time I was cutting it. But that was the only way to get rid of all the nits.
A couple days later, we stopped by Avanelle's and Tammy felt much better when she saw Debbie's and Mary's very short hair!
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 22
Death is a part of life. Tammy and Buddy were much too young when they had to learn this.
Aunt Susie's youngest child, Kay, was killed in a car accident in August of 1965. This hit all of us hard. Just the night before, we had eaten supper at Aunt Susie's and Kay wanted to go to the drive-in to see Mary Poppins. I told her I couldn't go that night because I had to work the next day, but we would definitely go tomorrow...Friday. After I left, Kay went for a ride with her sisters and their boyfriends. There was an accident and Kay was killed instantly.
My brother, Darvin, died on April 1, 1966. He had turned 12 just a couple of weeks before. Darvin had been sick since he was six years old. A playground accident...falling off a swing...had left him with a broken ...or damaged...vertabra in his neck. It took several episodes of him stopping breathing with ensuing hospital stays, before the cause was finally discovered...over a year after the first episode. The stoppage of his breathing so many times left him with brain damage and also triggered something in his brain that caused him to regress. Mom and Dad kept him home as long as they could, but a couple of years before his death, they were forced to place him in a children's home/hospital where he could be constantly monitored. I saw him last on his twelth birthday. Tammy, Buddy and I stopped in Fort Wayne at the Children's Hospital and the kids took him a bag of chocolate stars, his favorite candy.
Tammy cried when she saw his broken arm in a cast. Mom, who was there also, explained to her that he felt no pain. Except for sight, all his senses were gone. He was ...well...not like a newborn...perhaps even less that that. It was heart-breaking for all of us.
On April 1 about 7 a.m., as I was getting the kids ready for school, Mom called me and said Darvin had pneumonia and was not expected to live through the day. I hurriedly called my brother, Jimmy and made arrangements for us to leave for Indiana. I called Aunt Susie and told her what was going on, that I would call her when I got to Indiana.
I will not dwell too much on the events of that weekend. As difficult as it was on me, I had to soften the blow to my children. Tammy, especially, loved Darvin. In my mind's eye, I can still see her, a little four year old, leading Darvin around. Darvin went through a phase as he deteriorated when he was just a mean little boy. Nobody could handle him when he was thwarted from doing something he wanted to do...except Tammy. She could walk up to him...take him by the hand and he would immediately stop his tantrum and follow her anywhere.
I explained his death to them, just as I had when Kay died, like this. Sometimes God only loans us one of his angels. When that angel had served whatever purpose God had set for him on earth, he called him back home. Now Darvin was back in heaven with God and would never hurt again. He was just a normal little boy, running and playing and laughing with Kay.
A little aside here. Mom's son Darvin, Aunt Susie's daughter Day, and Avanelle's son Gary, were all born in 1954. Kay died in 1965, Darvin in 1966...and Gary Dale was killed in a freakish train accident in 1969.
The resilience of children is amazing. While I and the rest of the family grieved for months over the loss of Kay and Darvin, within days Tammy and Buddy were back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. They were not traumatized by the deaths. We often talked about Darvin and Kay, laughing together over funny things we remembered.
A couple of years later, my brother's four month old baby was a victim of SDS. My sister-in-law was, naturally, inconsolable. Tammy tried to comfort her by telling her she shouldn't worry about little Crit now, God had just called him back home to join the other angels...and anyway, Crit had Darvin and Kay there to watch out for him.
Aunt Susie's youngest child, Kay, was killed in a car accident in August of 1965. This hit all of us hard. Just the night before, we had eaten supper at Aunt Susie's and Kay wanted to go to the drive-in to see Mary Poppins. I told her I couldn't go that night because I had to work the next day, but we would definitely go tomorrow...Friday. After I left, Kay went for a ride with her sisters and their boyfriends. There was an accident and Kay was killed instantly.
My brother, Darvin, died on April 1, 1966. He had turned 12 just a couple of weeks before. Darvin had been sick since he was six years old. A playground accident...falling off a swing...had left him with a broken ...or damaged...vertabra in his neck. It took several episodes of him stopping breathing with ensuing hospital stays, before the cause was finally discovered...over a year after the first episode. The stoppage of his breathing so many times left him with brain damage and also triggered something in his brain that caused him to regress. Mom and Dad kept him home as long as they could, but a couple of years before his death, they were forced to place him in a children's home/hospital where he could be constantly monitored. I saw him last on his twelth birthday. Tammy, Buddy and I stopped in Fort Wayne at the Children's Hospital and the kids took him a bag of chocolate stars, his favorite candy.
Tammy cried when she saw his broken arm in a cast. Mom, who was there also, explained to her that he felt no pain. Except for sight, all his senses were gone. He was ...well...not like a newborn...perhaps even less that that. It was heart-breaking for all of us.
On April 1 about 7 a.m., as I was getting the kids ready for school, Mom called me and said Darvin had pneumonia and was not expected to live through the day. I hurriedly called my brother, Jimmy and made arrangements for us to leave for Indiana. I called Aunt Susie and told her what was going on, that I would call her when I got to Indiana.
I will not dwell too much on the events of that weekend. As difficult as it was on me, I had to soften the blow to my children. Tammy, especially, loved Darvin. In my mind's eye, I can still see her, a little four year old, leading Darvin around. Darvin went through a phase as he deteriorated when he was just a mean little boy. Nobody could handle him when he was thwarted from doing something he wanted to do...except Tammy. She could walk up to him...take him by the hand and he would immediately stop his tantrum and follow her anywhere.
I explained his death to them, just as I had when Kay died, like this. Sometimes God only loans us one of his angels. When that angel had served whatever purpose God had set for him on earth, he called him back home. Now Darvin was back in heaven with God and would never hurt again. He was just a normal little boy, running and playing and laughing with Kay.
A little aside here. Mom's son Darvin, Aunt Susie's daughter Day, and Avanelle's son Gary, were all born in 1954. Kay died in 1965, Darvin in 1966...and Gary Dale was killed in a freakish train accident in 1969.
The resilience of children is amazing. While I and the rest of the family grieved for months over the loss of Kay and Darvin, within days Tammy and Buddy were back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. They were not traumatized by the deaths. We often talked about Darvin and Kay, laughing together over funny things we remembered.
A couple of years later, my brother's four month old baby was a victim of SDS. My sister-in-law was, naturally, inconsolable. Tammy tried to comfort her by telling her she shouldn't worry about little Crit now, God had just called him back home to join the other angels...and anyway, Crit had Darvin and Kay there to watch out for him.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 21
Uncle Troy and Aunt Susie had a vegetable stand in front of their house on Michigan Avenue every summer. The kids and I spent a lot of evenings out there...sometimes for supper, sometimes after supper. I would take over watching the stand for a hour or so, giving Aunt Susie a break.
Aunt Susie declared the stand off limits to all kids and would quarrel at us when our kids came down to it...but she was the one who gave them bananas, apples, grapes, etc. Then turn around again and yell at them for leaving the yard!
I adored Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy. They were my second parents. Over the years, I think I spent nearly as much time with them as with my own parents. As a adult, with my own parents 200 miles away, it was to Aunt Susie I went with all my troubles. She was wonderful. She would listen while I grumbled and complained, sometimes crying...and never offer a word of advice. Just an understanding..."I'm sure you'll figure it out." Aunt Susie was a hard woman...hard to understand. She quarrelled all the time. To listen to her, you'd think she hated everything and everybody. When Tammy and Buddy were very little, they were scared of her and when we'd visit, be sure to stay out of her way. But over the years, they began to see the underlying kindness and goodness that she hid beneath her gruffness and ended up loving her as much as I did.
If one of them got hurt, which often happened when they played with all the other kids, Aunt Susie was the first to pick them up and gently take care of whatever scrape or cut they had...all the time grumbling and complaining about them running wild and not watching what they were doing.
Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy...she was Uncle Troy's mother...in the summer of 1965, I think it was, when the building she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. There, Granny had her own big bedroom off the kitchen, with its own entrance. But, when I went to visit her, I would always find her either sitting at Aunt Susie's kitchen table or a straight chair by the space heater in the living room. The two of them spent every day together...and I know they loved each other. Yet, they could go an entire day without ever speaking. Until someone else would come in to talk to them both.
My kids and I were very close to my younger cousins. Besides Avanelle and Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy's other kids were Gladys, Troy Juniour, Altie Faye, Doris Ann and Mary Catherine...called Kay. Kay was only three or four years older than Tammy and they were great friends. Altie and Doris aften babysat with my kids. On Saturday nights, when we went to the drive-in movies, we never went without Altie, Doris and Kay. In fact, I seldom went to Indiana without the three of them except on Holidays when they had to stay home.
In July of 1964, my brother Jimmy got married and we went to Indiana for the wedding...and Kay went with us. While at mom's that weekend, we all decided to go on to Kentucky for a week. Actually, we all ended up going on Jim's honeymoon! Kay and my little sister, Doralee, even rode to Kentucky with Jimmy and Loretta!
I worried all the time we were gone that Aunt Susie would be mad at me for taking Kay all the way to Kentucky. But, she didn't care. She said there was nobody she'd trust more with her girls than me.
Aunt Susie declared the stand off limits to all kids and would quarrel at us when our kids came down to it...but she was the one who gave them bananas, apples, grapes, etc. Then turn around again and yell at them for leaving the yard!
I adored Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy. They were my second parents. Over the years, I think I spent nearly as much time with them as with my own parents. As a adult, with my own parents 200 miles away, it was to Aunt Susie I went with all my troubles. She was wonderful. She would listen while I grumbled and complained, sometimes crying...and never offer a word of advice. Just an understanding..."I'm sure you'll figure it out." Aunt Susie was a hard woman...hard to understand. She quarrelled all the time. To listen to her, you'd think she hated everything and everybody. When Tammy and Buddy were very little, they were scared of her and when we'd visit, be sure to stay out of her way. But over the years, they began to see the underlying kindness and goodness that she hid beneath her gruffness and ended up loving her as much as I did.
If one of them got hurt, which often happened when they played with all the other kids, Aunt Susie was the first to pick them up and gently take care of whatever scrape or cut they had...all the time grumbling and complaining about them running wild and not watching what they were doing.
Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy...she was Uncle Troy's mother...in the summer of 1965, I think it was, when the building she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. There, Granny had her own big bedroom off the kitchen, with its own entrance. But, when I went to visit her, I would always find her either sitting at Aunt Susie's kitchen table or a straight chair by the space heater in the living room. The two of them spent every day together...and I know they loved each other. Yet, they could go an entire day without ever speaking. Until someone else would come in to talk to them both.
My kids and I were very close to my younger cousins. Besides Avanelle and Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy's other kids were Gladys, Troy Juniour, Altie Faye, Doris Ann and Mary Catherine...called Kay. Kay was only three or four years older than Tammy and they were great friends. Altie and Doris aften babysat with my kids. On Saturday nights, when we went to the drive-in movies, we never went without Altie, Doris and Kay. In fact, I seldom went to Indiana without the three of them except on Holidays when they had to stay home.
In July of 1964, my brother Jimmy got married and we went to Indiana for the wedding...and Kay went with us. While at mom's that weekend, we all decided to go on to Kentucky for a week. Actually, we all ended up going on Jim's honeymoon! Kay and my little sister, Doralee, even rode to Kentucky with Jimmy and Loretta!
I worried all the time we were gone that Aunt Susie would be mad at me for taking Kay all the way to Kentucky. But, she didn't care. She said there was nobody she'd trust more with her girls than me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 20
Easter was my next favorite holiday. Like Christmas, it was all about the kids. Easter baskets. Colored eggs. Easter outfits. Egg hunts. Church. Okay..so maybe Church should have been head of the list. Whether we were in Ypsilanti or Indiana, we always went to Church on Easter Sunday...and the Church always had an Easter egg hunt after services.
Most Easters we went to Mom and Dad's, but there were a few years we stayed home. When we stayed home, we went to Church with Granny...which we did several times through the year, but not often enough. Every time I went to Church, I left there with a glow inside and a promise to myself to go more often. But I let life get in the way and was lucky to go every six weeks and then only after much coercion from Granny.
Tammy and Buddy always got new clothes for Easter...dress, shoes, socks and hat for Tammy...Buddy got dress pants, shirt and shoes. Both got an Easter basket from the dime store fillled with penny candy and a toy.
Easter and the start of school was the only time I bought them new clothes and shoes...the rest of their clothes came from Goodwill. Garage sales were not common back then. At Easter they got dress shoes...for Church. When school started, they got sturdy winter shoes. I can't remember them ever having more than two pairs of shoes.
When we stayed home for Easter, like at Christmas, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner, along with maybe 30 other family members. We always had another egg hunt in their yard.
When we went to Mom and Dad's, we'd drive down on Friday night, again with Granny and Aunt Dora in the car. Sunday, Mom would get us up early to go to sunrise services at 6. After sunrise service, the Church women cooked a big southern breakfast...bacon, sausage, eggs, gravy, biscuits. After that much heavy food, I...along with perhaps 80 percent of the congregation...slept through the main service. After the egg hunt, we went back to the house where Mom cooked a big dinner and we had another egg hunt for all the kids. Then by five, we were on the road for home again.
The Fourth of July was another big holiday. Either I went to Indiana or Mom and Dad came to Ypsilanti. Whichever place, we had a big picnic at the lake with all the family living in the area. I liked it best when Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters came to Ypsi. By the time we all gathered at the lake, there would be at least 50 of us and the adults had as much fun together as the kids did.
One year I remember a particular incident. My three-year-old Buddy came out of the water up to where I was sitting with Mom and Granny and a few aunts. Buddy said he needed to go to the bathroom. Granny said, "just pee in the water, everybody else does!" So, Buddy ran back down to the lake and pulled his swim trunks down...and stood there and peed in the water! I thought I would die of embarrassment. But everybody else thought it was hilarious...and became one of those tales told at every family gathering for years.
From the time Tammy and Buddy were two and three years old, July Fourth was the day they went to stay with Mom and Dad for six weeks...until I went to get them in time to have them home for Buddy's birthday on August 14th. It was easier, in some ways, for Mom and Dad to take them than for me to leave them in Indiana. If I had to leave them, the trip home was very sad and I'm not altogether sure it was safe for me to drive while crying. When Mom and Dad took them, I was still sad, but being with Avanelle and Phyllis kept me from dwelling on it until I went home alone.
Labor Day was another big family holiday, either in Indiana or Michigan, with Mom and Dad going to Ypsilanti or me going to Indiana. Another family picnic at the lake. The end of summer.
Actually, the way it worked was if Mom and Dad came up for the Fourth, we went there for Labor Day and vice versa. If we went to Indiana, I didn't go alone...or with just Granny and Aunt Dora. Often my car would be filled with ten, or more, people. Me, Granny and Aunt Susie in the front seat. Tammy, Buddy, Gladys, Altie, Doris, Kay...sometimes Phyllis and Suetta..in the back seat. Oh...Aunt Dora never went with us then. That was the holiday she spent with her son every year...that and sometimes Thanksgiving.
As you can tell by all this, I was big on family and tried to teach my kids that family was the most important thing in life. Mom and Dad lived 200 miles away, but I never let more than a month or six weeks go by without going to see them...unless they had made a trip up to Ypsilanti, which they did two or three times a year as long as Granny was living.
I think my kids have all stayed true to this. I know my sons children are close with and see their maternal family often. Tammy and her kids are close to me and I thank God for them every day. But my boys live a hundred miles away and I don't see them and their kids often. I guess that's just life. Granny used to say "A son is your son until he takes a wife...but a daughter is your daughter all her life."
There's a lot of truth in that. I know every mother with only one daughter wishes she had more daughters...and I'm sure the daughters wish that too so they could have someone else to share the burden of older parents with. I do take delight in knowing my grandkids are happily close to their mother's families even though it hurts that I'm not the one...and I admit to a little guilty jealousy.
Most Easters we went to Mom and Dad's, but there were a few years we stayed home. When we stayed home, we went to Church with Granny...which we did several times through the year, but not often enough. Every time I went to Church, I left there with a glow inside and a promise to myself to go more often. But I let life get in the way and was lucky to go every six weeks and then only after much coercion from Granny.
Tammy and Buddy always got new clothes for Easter...dress, shoes, socks and hat for Tammy...Buddy got dress pants, shirt and shoes. Both got an Easter basket from the dime store fillled with penny candy and a toy.
Easter and the start of school was the only time I bought them new clothes and shoes...the rest of their clothes came from Goodwill. Garage sales were not common back then. At Easter they got dress shoes...for Church. When school started, they got sturdy winter shoes. I can't remember them ever having more than two pairs of shoes.
When we stayed home for Easter, like at Christmas, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner, along with maybe 30 other family members. We always had another egg hunt in their yard.
When we went to Mom and Dad's, we'd drive down on Friday night, again with Granny and Aunt Dora in the car. Sunday, Mom would get us up early to go to sunrise services at 6. After sunrise service, the Church women cooked a big southern breakfast...bacon, sausage, eggs, gravy, biscuits. After that much heavy food, I...along with perhaps 80 percent of the congregation...slept through the main service. After the egg hunt, we went back to the house where Mom cooked a big dinner and we had another egg hunt for all the kids. Then by five, we were on the road for home again.
The Fourth of July was another big holiday. Either I went to Indiana or Mom and Dad came to Ypsilanti. Whichever place, we had a big picnic at the lake with all the family living in the area. I liked it best when Mom and Dad and my brothers and sisters came to Ypsi. By the time we all gathered at the lake, there would be at least 50 of us and the adults had as much fun together as the kids did.
One year I remember a particular incident. My three-year-old Buddy came out of the water up to where I was sitting with Mom and Granny and a few aunts. Buddy said he needed to go to the bathroom. Granny said, "just pee in the water, everybody else does!" So, Buddy ran back down to the lake and pulled his swim trunks down...and stood there and peed in the water! I thought I would die of embarrassment. But everybody else thought it was hilarious...and became one of those tales told at every family gathering for years.
From the time Tammy and Buddy were two and three years old, July Fourth was the day they went to stay with Mom and Dad for six weeks...until I went to get them in time to have them home for Buddy's birthday on August 14th. It was easier, in some ways, for Mom and Dad to take them than for me to leave them in Indiana. If I had to leave them, the trip home was very sad and I'm not altogether sure it was safe for me to drive while crying. When Mom and Dad took them, I was still sad, but being with Avanelle and Phyllis kept me from dwelling on it until I went home alone.
Labor Day was another big family holiday, either in Indiana or Michigan, with Mom and Dad going to Ypsilanti or me going to Indiana. Another family picnic at the lake. The end of summer.
Actually, the way it worked was if Mom and Dad came up for the Fourth, we went there for Labor Day and vice versa. If we went to Indiana, I didn't go alone...or with just Granny and Aunt Dora. Often my car would be filled with ten, or more, people. Me, Granny and Aunt Susie in the front seat. Tammy, Buddy, Gladys, Altie, Doris, Kay...sometimes Phyllis and Suetta..in the back seat. Oh...Aunt Dora never went with us then. That was the holiday she spent with her son every year...that and sometimes Thanksgiving.
As you can tell by all this, I was big on family and tried to teach my kids that family was the most important thing in life. Mom and Dad lived 200 miles away, but I never let more than a month or six weeks go by without going to see them...unless they had made a trip up to Ypsilanti, which they did two or three times a year as long as Granny was living.
I think my kids have all stayed true to this. I know my sons children are close with and see their maternal family often. Tammy and her kids are close to me and I thank God for them every day. But my boys live a hundred miles away and I don't see them and their kids often. I guess that's just life. Granny used to say "A son is your son until he takes a wife...but a daughter is your daughter all her life."
There's a lot of truth in that. I know every mother with only one daughter wishes she had more daughters...and I'm sure the daughters wish that too so they could have someone else to share the burden of older parents with. I do take delight in knowing my grandkids are happily close to their mother's families even though it hurts that I'm not the one...and I admit to a little guilty jealousy.
Monday, July 20, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 19
I loved Holidays and always tried to make them special for my children. Christmas was my favorite. Even though in the early years I didn't have much money to spend for Christmas, I always managed.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, following in my Dad's tradition, I would decorate the living room...hanging red and green streamers across the ceiling, corner to corner, with a big red bell in the center. Depending on what day Christmas fell on, I would buy the tree on Saturday, week to ten days before. The kids and I would start out first thing after breakfast and visit a few lots looking for the perfect tree. We could never agree, though, just what that was. Buddy got cold and bored easily...and was ready to pick any tree by the second lot we visited. Tammy was all over the lot, yelling, Mom come look! Back then trees were not wrapped up...they were standing in all their glory!
Eventually, we'd pick one and with the help of the salesman, get it tied onto the top of the car. The three of us would wrestle it into the house and up the stairs. Then I had to get it into the tree stand and figure out the perfect spot in the living room to put it. This usually meant rearranging the furniture.
Tammy and Buddy would very enthusiastically start helping decorate the tree...after I had fought with untangling and hanging the lights. While I draped roping, they would hang the bulbs.
By the time we got to the icicles, they were tired of the whole thing and would just throw them on the tree. After they went to bed, I painstakingly straightened every icicle.
With time out for lunch and supper, this was an all day job, but one of the most fun days of the year for the three of us. Then on the next day, we'd go visit Avanelle, Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Lee...and maybe Darvin...to see their trees. Thankfully, the kids always declared ours was the prettiest.
Since I worked in an office and always had to work the day after both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Once in awhile we went to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving, but it was such a quick trip, 200 miles down on Wednesday night...200 miles back on Thursday night...and work Friday. At work, Christmas Eve was always half a day...so when Christmas fell on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday, we went to Indiana. If it was on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday...we stayed home.
I made sure both kids got at least one nice gift...something they had wanted. Tammy got a doll every year until she said she was too old...I think she was 12. Buddy got a Buddy L Truck ..because it had his name on it. Then they'd get small gifts...set of dishes, cap pistol, ball and paddle...yoyo...jump rope...and pajamas...and socks! Of course, they always asked Santa for a lot more than they got!
Just like me when I was a little girl, the first thing they went for under the tree on Christmas morning was their stockings! Well, sometimes they were under the tree...sometimes they were hung up if I had a place to hang them. I always managed to get a couple of big men's socks and filled them full....apple, orange, banana, candy bar, package of gum, nuts and wrapped hard candy. I never cooked Christmas Dinner. Always, when we had to stay in Ypsilanti, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner. And she had a housefull. Besides me and my kids, Avanelle, Phyllis and their kids, Granny, Aunt Dora and Uncle Darvin with his wife and kids, Uncle Calvin and his family, Uncle Spencer...and sometimes Uncle Speed and his family. Many times Aunt Susie cooked Christmas dinner for 30 or more.
On the years we went to Mom and Dad's in Indiana, I had to haul everything with us. Granny and Aunt Dora would go with us, as long as Aunt Dora lived in Ypsi. Granny in the front passenger seat and Aunt Dora in the back with Tammy and Buddy. It was usually dark when we left home and all the way there Aunt Dora would have Tammy and Buddy watching out the windows for Santa Claus. A few times they swore they saw him streaking across the sky..and Aunt Dora backed them up!
That Christmas Eve trip was always fun. All the way there, we'd sing Christmas carols, Granny and Aunt Dora would tell about the First Christmas. They neither one knew the bible references...but they knew the story almost word for word from the bible. Then we would talk about what it must have been like as compared to what this Christmas was for us. No matter what time we made it to Mom and Dad's, Tammy and Buddy were wide awake. Any other trip, they fell asleep almost as soon as we left home.
At Mom and Dad's, the whole family was waiting up for us and Dad complaining because we were so late! As soon as possible, the kids were sent to bed so Santa could do his stuff! First we had to fill all the socks...then Mom would start pulling out all the presents she had hidden through the year. I'd unload my trunk. Dad would start piling stuff under the tree. Not much was wrapped...just the clothing items. Most of the time we didn't get much sleep that night...perhaps a couple of hours because the kids were back up by six a.m.
The kids were not allowed to touch the presents until everybody was up and in the living room...which meant they had to wait until we...adults...had a cup of coffee in our hands. Then Dad would finish his Santa act...handing out the socks first...then the presents.
Part of my enjoyment of those Christmases was watching Aunt Dora. She had left home in KY and moved to Michigan when she was 16. She worked in a dime store...married the owner who was much older than her. They had only one child, an adopted son. So, our big, noisy, Christmas was something new to her...and she loved it.
Mom always cooked a fantastic big dinner. On years I had to leave right after dinner, I was so stuffed it was hard to drive home! And Aunt Dora! She would talk all the way home about how much fun she had...and that it was her best Christmas ever! To me, the trip home was always a little sad. Christmas was over for another year.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, following in my Dad's tradition, I would decorate the living room...hanging red and green streamers across the ceiling, corner to corner, with a big red bell in the center. Depending on what day Christmas fell on, I would buy the tree on Saturday, week to ten days before. The kids and I would start out first thing after breakfast and visit a few lots looking for the perfect tree. We could never agree, though, just what that was. Buddy got cold and bored easily...and was ready to pick any tree by the second lot we visited. Tammy was all over the lot, yelling, Mom come look! Back then trees were not wrapped up...they were standing in all their glory!
Eventually, we'd pick one and with the help of the salesman, get it tied onto the top of the car. The three of us would wrestle it into the house and up the stairs. Then I had to get it into the tree stand and figure out the perfect spot in the living room to put it. This usually meant rearranging the furniture.
Tammy and Buddy would very enthusiastically start helping decorate the tree...after I had fought with untangling and hanging the lights. While I draped roping, they would hang the bulbs.
By the time we got to the icicles, they were tired of the whole thing and would just throw them on the tree. After they went to bed, I painstakingly straightened every icicle.
With time out for lunch and supper, this was an all day job, but one of the most fun days of the year for the three of us. Then on the next day, we'd go visit Avanelle, Phyllis, Aunt Susie and Uncle Lee...and maybe Darvin...to see their trees. Thankfully, the kids always declared ours was the prettiest.
Since I worked in an office and always had to work the day after both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Once in awhile we went to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving, but it was such a quick trip, 200 miles down on Wednesday night...200 miles back on Thursday night...and work Friday. At work, Christmas Eve was always half a day...so when Christmas fell on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday, we went to Indiana. If it was on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday...we stayed home.
I made sure both kids got at least one nice gift...something they had wanted. Tammy got a doll every year until she said she was too old...I think she was 12. Buddy got a Buddy L Truck ..because it had his name on it. Then they'd get small gifts...set of dishes, cap pistol, ball and paddle...yoyo...jump rope...and pajamas...and socks! Of course, they always asked Santa for a lot more than they got!
Just like me when I was a little girl, the first thing they went for under the tree on Christmas morning was their stockings! Well, sometimes they were under the tree...sometimes they were hung up if I had a place to hang them. I always managed to get a couple of big men's socks and filled them full....apple, orange, banana, candy bar, package of gum, nuts and wrapped hard candy. I never cooked Christmas Dinner. Always, when we had to stay in Ypsilanti, we went to Aunt Susie's for dinner. And she had a housefull. Besides me and my kids, Avanelle, Phyllis and their kids, Granny, Aunt Dora and Uncle Darvin with his wife and kids, Uncle Calvin and his family, Uncle Spencer...and sometimes Uncle Speed and his family. Many times Aunt Susie cooked Christmas dinner for 30 or more.
On the years we went to Mom and Dad's in Indiana, I had to haul everything with us. Granny and Aunt Dora would go with us, as long as Aunt Dora lived in Ypsi. Granny in the front passenger seat and Aunt Dora in the back with Tammy and Buddy. It was usually dark when we left home and all the way there Aunt Dora would have Tammy and Buddy watching out the windows for Santa Claus. A few times they swore they saw him streaking across the sky..and Aunt Dora backed them up!
That Christmas Eve trip was always fun. All the way there, we'd sing Christmas carols, Granny and Aunt Dora would tell about the First Christmas. They neither one knew the bible references...but they knew the story almost word for word from the bible. Then we would talk about what it must have been like as compared to what this Christmas was for us. No matter what time we made it to Mom and Dad's, Tammy and Buddy were wide awake. Any other trip, they fell asleep almost as soon as we left home.
At Mom and Dad's, the whole family was waiting up for us and Dad complaining because we were so late! As soon as possible, the kids were sent to bed so Santa could do his stuff! First we had to fill all the socks...then Mom would start pulling out all the presents she had hidden through the year. I'd unload my trunk. Dad would start piling stuff under the tree. Not much was wrapped...just the clothing items. Most of the time we didn't get much sleep that night...perhaps a couple of hours because the kids were back up by six a.m.
The kids were not allowed to touch the presents until everybody was up and in the living room...which meant they had to wait until we...adults...had a cup of coffee in our hands. Then Dad would finish his Santa act...handing out the socks first...then the presents.
Part of my enjoyment of those Christmases was watching Aunt Dora. She had left home in KY and moved to Michigan when she was 16. She worked in a dime store...married the owner who was much older than her. They had only one child, an adopted son. So, our big, noisy, Christmas was something new to her...and she loved it.
Mom always cooked a fantastic big dinner. On years I had to leave right after dinner, I was so stuffed it was hard to drive home! And Aunt Dora! She would talk all the way home about how much fun she had...and that it was her best Christmas ever! To me, the trip home was always a little sad. Christmas was over for another year.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 18
Actually this part should have been before the last one...but I got ahead of myself.
The first summer we lived on Hamilton, I was just seeing Joe occasionally. My life was still centered around my kids when I wasn't working and we were a close unit. We did everything together and they went everywhere with me...the grocery store, the laundromat, the bank, visiting relatives and friends...when I wasn't working. When I went out at night, I didn't leave until after they were in bed, usually asleep.
But getting them to bed and then to go to sleep was a nightly hassle. We began bedtime at 8...but it was a rare night, especially when they didn't have school, that they were asleep before 10.
We had both their twin beds in one bedroom until one night after several trips in there to settle them down, I was in the living room watching TV and I smelled smoke. I checked all over the apartment..then opened Tammy and Buddy's bedroom door. There they were, both in one bed....under the tented blanket, lighting matches! I was furious! I dragged them both out of the bed and used a paddle (from the ball and paddle toy) on their behinds. All the while, lecturing them on the dangers of playing with matches.
The next day I changed things around. I moved the dining room table into the kitchen and Buddy's bed into the dining room. They cried and begged me not to separate them. But I told them I could no longer trust them together, so get over it!
Bedtimes became much calmer and easier after that. Tammy had her own room with a door. Buddys room was open...with doors into the kitchen, living room and hall. As I worked around the apartment doing my usual nightly housekeeping, I had to be especially quiet to not wake Buddy. The doorway from Buddy's room into the living room was a wide arch...and I soon found out he could ...and did...watch TV from his bed. This meant I also had to rearrange the furniture in the living room, moving the TV to where Buddy couldn't see it.
For the first time, that summer, Tammy and Buddy started doing things that didn't include each other. Buddy joined the Boy's club. Tammy began having overnights with either Debbie or Suetta. My babies were growing up.
The first summer we lived on Hamilton, I was just seeing Joe occasionally. My life was still centered around my kids when I wasn't working and we were a close unit. We did everything together and they went everywhere with me...the grocery store, the laundromat, the bank, visiting relatives and friends...when I wasn't working. When I went out at night, I didn't leave until after they were in bed, usually asleep.
But getting them to bed and then to go to sleep was a nightly hassle. We began bedtime at 8...but it was a rare night, especially when they didn't have school, that they were asleep before 10.
We had both their twin beds in one bedroom until one night after several trips in there to settle them down, I was in the living room watching TV and I smelled smoke. I checked all over the apartment..then opened Tammy and Buddy's bedroom door. There they were, both in one bed....under the tented blanket, lighting matches! I was furious! I dragged them both out of the bed and used a paddle (from the ball and paddle toy) on their behinds. All the while, lecturing them on the dangers of playing with matches.
The next day I changed things around. I moved the dining room table into the kitchen and Buddy's bed into the dining room. They cried and begged me not to separate them. But I told them I could no longer trust them together, so get over it!
Bedtimes became much calmer and easier after that. Tammy had her own room with a door. Buddys room was open...with doors into the kitchen, living room and hall. As I worked around the apartment doing my usual nightly housekeeping, I had to be especially quiet to not wake Buddy. The doorway from Buddy's room into the living room was a wide arch...and I soon found out he could ...and did...watch TV from his bed. This meant I also had to rearrange the furniture in the living room, moving the TV to where Buddy couldn't see it.
For the first time, that summer, Tammy and Buddy started doing things that didn't include each other. Buddy joined the Boy's club. Tammy began having overnights with either Debbie or Suetta. My babies were growing up.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 17
The summer of 1966, Joe decided to go to summer school at Eastern, so after much discussion and fretting about what my family would think, we decided he would live with me and the kids for the summer. Before him, even though I had had a couple fairly serious relationships, I never allowed a man to stay over night nor get too close to my kids. It wasn't so much that I was prudish as that I didn't want Tammy and Buddy to get hurt by coming to care too much for the guy. My history wasn't good as to long-term relationships. I tended to fall "in love" easily and three months or so later, couldn't see what I had ever saw in the guy in the first place.
Joe and I both believed our relationship was for life...and planned to get married after he graduated and had a regular job. Before he moved in, I told both my parents and Granny what we planned. They weren't happy about it..but ..hey! I was 28 years old!
Actually, this worked out good financially. Joe baby-sat for the kids and dropped them off at Granny's when he had to go to class, saving me $15.00 a week. And he and the kids adored each other! I sometimes think he ended up marrying me just to get Tammy and Buddy.
After Joe's accident during an epileptic seizure, he lost his driver's license for six months...so that summer, he stayed with us during the week and I'd take him home to Highland Park on Friday night so he could work at his family's bar. On Sunday night, somebody would drive him back to Ypsi. Most Saturday nights I got a baby-sitter and went to his bar to be with him.
The four of us were usually content to stay home and just be together, but we spent many evenings with Avanelle, Phyllis or at Aunt Susie's. That summer, too, Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy because the house she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. It was heart-breaking when she and Aunt Dora had to split up, with Aunt Dora going to Pontiac to live with her son. They never saw each other again. Granny loved Joe..but everytime we saw her, she had to get a dig in about us "living in sin."
On Saturdays and Sundays, the kids and I often went out to a lake in the Irish Hills where some friends had a summer cottage. They had two boys the same age as Tammy and Buddy so the kids loved going there. I learned to water-ski that summer. We kept life-jackets on the kids all day long and they practically lived in the water. When it came time for them to go to Mom and Dad's for their annual six weeks, for the first time they didn't want to go...they didn't want to leave Joe. But they did go...and Joe missed them as much as I did. When I made a trip down to see them after three weeks, Joe took off work and went along. Then three weeks later, when I went to get them, he was waiting at the apartment when we got home....and had decorated it with balloons and welcome home banners....as well as gifts for them...a ball and bat for Buddy...a doll and buggy for Tammy.
Since the living arrangements had worked out so good over the summer, Joe stayed on with us for his last year at Eastern.
Joe and I both believed our relationship was for life...and planned to get married after he graduated and had a regular job. Before he moved in, I told both my parents and Granny what we planned. They weren't happy about it..but ..hey! I was 28 years old!
Actually, this worked out good financially. Joe baby-sat for the kids and dropped them off at Granny's when he had to go to class, saving me $15.00 a week. And he and the kids adored each other! I sometimes think he ended up marrying me just to get Tammy and Buddy.
After Joe's accident during an epileptic seizure, he lost his driver's license for six months...so that summer, he stayed with us during the week and I'd take him home to Highland Park on Friday night so he could work at his family's bar. On Sunday night, somebody would drive him back to Ypsi. Most Saturday nights I got a baby-sitter and went to his bar to be with him.
The four of us were usually content to stay home and just be together, but we spent many evenings with Avanelle, Phyllis or at Aunt Susie's. That summer, too, Granny moved in with Aunt Susie and Uncle Troy because the house she and Aunt Dora lived in was sold. It was heart-breaking when she and Aunt Dora had to split up, with Aunt Dora going to Pontiac to live with her son. They never saw each other again. Granny loved Joe..but everytime we saw her, she had to get a dig in about us "living in sin."
On Saturdays and Sundays, the kids and I often went out to a lake in the Irish Hills where some friends had a summer cottage. They had two boys the same age as Tammy and Buddy so the kids loved going there. I learned to water-ski that summer. We kept life-jackets on the kids all day long and they practically lived in the water. When it came time for them to go to Mom and Dad's for their annual six weeks, for the first time they didn't want to go...they didn't want to leave Joe. But they did go...and Joe missed them as much as I did. When I made a trip down to see them after three weeks, Joe took off work and went along. Then three weeks later, when I went to get them, he was waiting at the apartment when we got home....and had decorated it with balloons and welcome home banners....as well as gifts for them...a ball and bat for Buddy...a doll and buggy for Tammy.
Since the living arrangements had worked out so good over the summer, Joe stayed on with us for his last year at Eastern.
Friday, July 3, 2009
LONG WEEK
This has been a long week at Shipshewana...Tuesday through Saturday. Their special days for the Fourth of July. I worked our space on Tuesday and Thursday...but didnt' make it all day. I was gonna go up tomorrow, Saturday the 4th, but Sarah doesn't have a baby-sitter for Kadyn all day. I'm going to keep him from 8 to noon...then Teri will take him. Today, I had him from 8 to 10...then from 2 to 5. His father took him from 10 to 2. I don't know what got into that kid. He's usually happy to see his mom and ready to leave with her. Today, he was happy enough to see her, but didn't want to leave. Even when I told him she'd soon be here, he said...I stay wi' you, Gammy. Makes my heart sing that he loves me that much cause God knows I adore him.
I haven't been writing much on here because my computer is messed up. I'll get back to writing more on my series Life With My Children soon.
I haven't been writing much on here because my computer is messed up. I'll get back to writing more on my series Life With My Children soon.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
SHIPSHEWANNA
I went to Shipshewanna with Tammy and a friend from our flea market here in town. It was really a long day, Tuesday. I was up before five am and we left Fort Wayne by 6. Shipshewanna is a 60 mile trip, we got there at 7:10....then had to wait until after 8 before we even knew if we'd get a space. Finally, at 8:30 they called our name.
I don't like the way they're doing it this year. We were setting up our booth while customers were pouring in. We didn't get everything set up until 10:30...who knows how many sales we could have made in that two and half hours. I bet a thousand people went by...I finally went over and started selling our scented salt crystals while Tammy and Annie finished up. In years past the spaces were given out at 7 and we had an hour to get set up before customers arrived.
We sold enough to make our expenses and some extra to replace stock we were low on. I keep hearing vendors boasting about taking in $1,000 to 1500 a day. That's not us! This t-shirt booth near us was selling t-shirts for $1.97 each...nice quality, plain, colored shirts. They had thousands of them and probably sold a thousand or more. Annie took 28 tiffany-type lamps...she sold three. A booth down the aisle had a couple hundred just like hers, but in three sizes...she only had the large lamp, selling it for $25...a good bargain. But the other booth was doing a brisk business, selling the smaller lamps for $17.
All the booths that were selling a lot...had products marked cheap. We know how they do it...we just don't have the money for the initial investment. Like the t-shirt guy....he bought a truck load of shirts...at fifty cents to a dollar each. The truck load cost him probably $5,000, but I bet he's gone through a couple of truck loads since May 5, when the flea market opened.
Another booth close to us had signs proclaiming everything was $5 or less. They were selling purses, totes, wallets, backpacks, insulated lunch bags, socks...and other like stuff. Their mark-up couldn't have been more than fifty cents to a dollar...but they tent was constantly full of customers. She told me she had to call and have two more people come in to work for her because she and her daughter couldn't handle it.
That seems to be the secret to making money at a flea market. Buy huge quantities and sell them cheap. A dollar mark up isn't much, but multiply it by a 1,000 sales and it adds up. The customer profits by getting it much cheaper than even at Walmart or Dollar General.
Tammy and I could do that with our scented salt crystals. We could sell it for a dollar profit and probably sell 500 to 1,000 bags...but we don't have the inventory to sell that much nor the capital to buy that much. Not to mention, we don't have a truck to transport that much inventory. All the big sellers bring in huge trucks loaded down...we take ours in a small van!
Back to our week. Or my one day. We took maybe a hundred crocheted towels...and they were flying off the rack. People were buying four or more at a time. I'm going to be crocheting towels all summer! This is one item we don't make a big profit on, perhaps a dollar per towel. Since it takes me half an hour to make one, I'm working cheap!
We've added Shea butter to our stock of products. We sold a few...not a lot. But we were selling ours for $4 for a two-ounce jar. Just down the aisle, a booth was getting $10 for the same size jar.! But where we had a small display of it...maybe 40 jars...he had a whole booth dedicated to it...hundreds of jars of different sizes.
I felt like a carnival barker. As people would walk by, I'd say..."hey, have you seen this scented salt crystals?" Nine out of ten would then stop and look and maybe half of them would listen to my sales spiel and once in awhile, someone would actually buy.
It started raining about 3 and people rushed out. It was okay with me, I was done! My body ached all over and I could barely stand up. I left for home a little after four...Tammy and Annie had to stay until the market closed at five. That's probably the only day this summer I'll be able to go up there, because once the heat and humidity set in, I can't take it.
It was easier, though, than working our booth at the local flea market. We don't get many customers there, so only one of work at a time...and have to cover the whole booth. I can't sit down and talk to customers there. Saturday, Tammy had to go to Indy and pick up her daughter at the airport...so I had to work from 9 to six...and it was hard!! And I only took in $20.
There is money to be made in the flea market business, but we're not making it. We barely make enough to cover our expenses, but it gives us something to do. It is more a hobby, so far, for us than a business. Yet, we have hopes that it will get better.
I don't like the way they're doing it this year. We were setting up our booth while customers were pouring in. We didn't get everything set up until 10:30...who knows how many sales we could have made in that two and half hours. I bet a thousand people went by...I finally went over and started selling our scented salt crystals while Tammy and Annie finished up. In years past the spaces were given out at 7 and we had an hour to get set up before customers arrived.
We sold enough to make our expenses and some extra to replace stock we were low on. I keep hearing vendors boasting about taking in $1,000 to 1500 a day. That's not us! This t-shirt booth near us was selling t-shirts for $1.97 each...nice quality, plain, colored shirts. They had thousands of them and probably sold a thousand or more. Annie took 28 tiffany-type lamps...she sold three. A booth down the aisle had a couple hundred just like hers, but in three sizes...she only had the large lamp, selling it for $25...a good bargain. But the other booth was doing a brisk business, selling the smaller lamps for $17.
All the booths that were selling a lot...had products marked cheap. We know how they do it...we just don't have the money for the initial investment. Like the t-shirt guy....he bought a truck load of shirts...at fifty cents to a dollar each. The truck load cost him probably $5,000, but I bet he's gone through a couple of truck loads since May 5, when the flea market opened.
Another booth close to us had signs proclaiming everything was $5 or less. They were selling purses, totes, wallets, backpacks, insulated lunch bags, socks...and other like stuff. Their mark-up couldn't have been more than fifty cents to a dollar...but they tent was constantly full of customers. She told me she had to call and have two more people come in to work for her because she and her daughter couldn't handle it.
That seems to be the secret to making money at a flea market. Buy huge quantities and sell them cheap. A dollar mark up isn't much, but multiply it by a 1,000 sales and it adds up. The customer profits by getting it much cheaper than even at Walmart or Dollar General.
Tammy and I could do that with our scented salt crystals. We could sell it for a dollar profit and probably sell 500 to 1,000 bags...but we don't have the inventory to sell that much nor the capital to buy that much. Not to mention, we don't have a truck to transport that much inventory. All the big sellers bring in huge trucks loaded down...we take ours in a small van!
Back to our week. Or my one day. We took maybe a hundred crocheted towels...and they were flying off the rack. People were buying four or more at a time. I'm going to be crocheting towels all summer! This is one item we don't make a big profit on, perhaps a dollar per towel. Since it takes me half an hour to make one, I'm working cheap!
We've added Shea butter to our stock of products. We sold a few...not a lot. But we were selling ours for $4 for a two-ounce jar. Just down the aisle, a booth was getting $10 for the same size jar.! But where we had a small display of it...maybe 40 jars...he had a whole booth dedicated to it...hundreds of jars of different sizes.
I felt like a carnival barker. As people would walk by, I'd say..."hey, have you seen this scented salt crystals?" Nine out of ten would then stop and look and maybe half of them would listen to my sales spiel and once in awhile, someone would actually buy.
It started raining about 3 and people rushed out. It was okay with me, I was done! My body ached all over and I could barely stand up. I left for home a little after four...Tammy and Annie had to stay until the market closed at five. That's probably the only day this summer I'll be able to go up there, because once the heat and humidity set in, I can't take it.
It was easier, though, than working our booth at the local flea market. We don't get many customers there, so only one of work at a time...and have to cover the whole booth. I can't sit down and talk to customers there. Saturday, Tammy had to go to Indy and pick up her daughter at the airport...so I had to work from 9 to six...and it was hard!! And I only took in $20.
There is money to be made in the flea market business, but we're not making it. We barely make enough to cover our expenses, but it gives us something to do. It is more a hobby, so far, for us than a business. Yet, we have hopes that it will get better.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 16
My life was going good. I had a job I loved, a man I was crazy about and, as hard as it was for me to believe, he was just as crazy about me.
Then Tammy got sick. She had a cold and sore throat for which she had been to the doctor a couple of times and seemed to be getting better. Then the school called me at work and said Tammy was sick. She had seemed fine that morning. I picked her up about ten and dropped her off with my brother. He and his wife and baby had recently moved just a couple of blocks from us.
Loretta, my sister-in-law called me just before noon and said Tammy seemed to be getting worse, but she didn't have a thermometer to check her temperature. I went by my house and got my thermometer and went on to check on Tammy. Her temp was 101. I bathed her in cool water and got it down to 100. But it immediately went back up. I called the doctor's office and they said to bring her right in.
By the time the doctor saw her, her temp had risen to 102. In his examination, Tammy complained that her back hurt, her head hurt...and she was seeing double. The doctor said to take her immediately to the University Hospital in Ann Arbor...and to take her out the back door of the office. He said he suspected she had polio.
I was frantic. And scared to death. The doctor didn't even want her to wait for an ambulance, saying I could get her to the hospital quicker. When he left the exam room to make a call, I called Aunt Susie. She said she would be waiting by the road for me to pick her up. We made the fastest trip to Ann Arbor I had ever done.
In the ER, Tammy's temp was 103. They rushed her up to the fourth floor, where just a few minutes later her temp had climbed to 104. They wrapped her in an ice blanket and tried to make me leave the room, but I refused. Finally, the doctor said to let me stay if I stayed out of their way. I was holding Tammy's hand...it was the only body part I could reach with all the medical personnel around her.
The doctors didn't talk to me, but to each other. And the more I heard, the more scared I was. They discussed whether it could be polio or meningitis. From what they were saying, and from their tone of voice, I knew she was dying. All I could do, as I held her hand, was pray. Please God, don't take my baby, I pleaded, over and over. Tammy was asleep, I thought. Then the doctor tried to rouse her with no response. He said to another doctor, she's slipped into a coma...we can't wait. The spinal tap has be do done now. At this point, I was hysterical and a nurse pulled me out of the room. I begged and pleaded to be allowed to go back in and stay with Tammy. Finally, the doctor came out and told the nurse to let me go back in. Aunt Susie, bless her heart, barged right into the room with me and said to the nurse, just try to make me leave them. They let her stay with me.
Then, a miracle happened. That's the only way to describe it. As soon as the doctor did the spinal tap...even while the needle was still in her back, Tammy woke up and started crying. The nurse took her temp and it was down to 100. She was alert and got the number right when the doctor asked how many fingers she could see.
Tammy was sent to ICU and I was allowed to see her for five minutes every hour. Before I was allowed to see her, I had to put on a hospital gown over my clothes and wear a mask over my nose and mouth. Ater I saw her, about 9 p.m., the nurse told me I should go home. She said I could not go into see Tammy anymore that night because she got too "agitated" when she saw me and they needed to keep her quiet. I adamantly said I wasn't leaving and that the only reason Tammy got upset was because of the mask and gown I had to wear. The nurse was not nice about it and said if I insisted on staying, I'd have to stay in the lobby on the first floor.
By then Uncle Troy had joined us at the hospital and my brother had been there for awhile, as well as Avanelle and Phyllis. They didn't stay long because nobody was allowed to see Tammy except her parents...which was just me.
I was really upset, mad and crying when I told Uncle Troy and Aunt Susie what was going on. Uncle Troy went up to the ICU floor and talked to the nurses. Afterwards, he convinced me to go home saying they promised to call me immediately if there was any change.
After I got home, I called Mark in California and told him what was going on. He said to keep him informed. I sat in the corner of the couch beside the telephone all night and was back at the hospital by 8 a.m. and began the five-minute visiting ritual again. A little after noon, the nurse told me they were moving her from ICU into a private room on the isolation floor.
In isolation, I still had to be gowned and masked, and still was the only person allowed to see Tammy. Then at 8 pm. the nurse said visiting hour was over and I had to leave! Tammy remained in isolation for two weeks and during that time I was the only visitor she was allowed, except for my Mom and Dad. They came up the first weekend after Tammy got sick and the hospital allowed them to see Tammy once, gowned and masked.
After Tammy was moved into isolation, I was only allowed to see her during regular visiting hours. Since I had to work, and it was too far to go on my lunch hour, that meant I could only be with her from 6 to 8 pm every day. I left her crying every night. That was just hospital policy back then. They thought parents were a nuisance. I'm so glad hospitals have changed the rules and parents are allowed to stay with their children now.
On the day Tammy was released, I talked to one of her doctors and asked just what it was she'd had. He told me he wasn't sure. The only positive diagnosis was a severe kidney infection. I was furious and demanded to know why she was kept in isolation for a kidney infection. He hemed and hawed around and said, "she might have had meningitis or polio."
Even our family doctor, who was a D.O...Doctor of Osteopathy...couldn't get a firm diagnosis from the hospital. Back then D.O.s didn't have hospital privileges anyplace except a D.O. hospital. He said it was obvious that Tammy'd had a more serious condition than a kidney infection, that hospitals did not isolate a child unless it was absolutely necessary. And that the treatment she had received indicated viral meningitis, or even polio, but he was leaning towards meningitis.
D.O.s might have been considered second-class, or even lower, on the medical doctor scale, but I am convinced that ours saved Tammy's life.
Then Tammy got sick. She had a cold and sore throat for which she had been to the doctor a couple of times and seemed to be getting better. Then the school called me at work and said Tammy was sick. She had seemed fine that morning. I picked her up about ten and dropped her off with my brother. He and his wife and baby had recently moved just a couple of blocks from us.
Loretta, my sister-in-law called me just before noon and said Tammy seemed to be getting worse, but she didn't have a thermometer to check her temperature. I went by my house and got my thermometer and went on to check on Tammy. Her temp was 101. I bathed her in cool water and got it down to 100. But it immediately went back up. I called the doctor's office and they said to bring her right in.
By the time the doctor saw her, her temp had risen to 102. In his examination, Tammy complained that her back hurt, her head hurt...and she was seeing double. The doctor said to take her immediately to the University Hospital in Ann Arbor...and to take her out the back door of the office. He said he suspected she had polio.
I was frantic. And scared to death. The doctor didn't even want her to wait for an ambulance, saying I could get her to the hospital quicker. When he left the exam room to make a call, I called Aunt Susie. She said she would be waiting by the road for me to pick her up. We made the fastest trip to Ann Arbor I had ever done.
In the ER, Tammy's temp was 103. They rushed her up to the fourth floor, where just a few minutes later her temp had climbed to 104. They wrapped her in an ice blanket and tried to make me leave the room, but I refused. Finally, the doctor said to let me stay if I stayed out of their way. I was holding Tammy's hand...it was the only body part I could reach with all the medical personnel around her.
The doctors didn't talk to me, but to each other. And the more I heard, the more scared I was. They discussed whether it could be polio or meningitis. From what they were saying, and from their tone of voice, I knew she was dying. All I could do, as I held her hand, was pray. Please God, don't take my baby, I pleaded, over and over. Tammy was asleep, I thought. Then the doctor tried to rouse her with no response. He said to another doctor, she's slipped into a coma...we can't wait. The spinal tap has be do done now. At this point, I was hysterical and a nurse pulled me out of the room. I begged and pleaded to be allowed to go back in and stay with Tammy. Finally, the doctor came out and told the nurse to let me go back in. Aunt Susie, bless her heart, barged right into the room with me and said to the nurse, just try to make me leave them. They let her stay with me.
Then, a miracle happened. That's the only way to describe it. As soon as the doctor did the spinal tap...even while the needle was still in her back, Tammy woke up and started crying. The nurse took her temp and it was down to 100. She was alert and got the number right when the doctor asked how many fingers she could see.
Tammy was sent to ICU and I was allowed to see her for five minutes every hour. Before I was allowed to see her, I had to put on a hospital gown over my clothes and wear a mask over my nose and mouth. Ater I saw her, about 9 p.m., the nurse told me I should go home. She said I could not go into see Tammy anymore that night because she got too "agitated" when she saw me and they needed to keep her quiet. I adamantly said I wasn't leaving and that the only reason Tammy got upset was because of the mask and gown I had to wear. The nurse was not nice about it and said if I insisted on staying, I'd have to stay in the lobby on the first floor.
By then Uncle Troy had joined us at the hospital and my brother had been there for awhile, as well as Avanelle and Phyllis. They didn't stay long because nobody was allowed to see Tammy except her parents...which was just me.
I was really upset, mad and crying when I told Uncle Troy and Aunt Susie what was going on. Uncle Troy went up to the ICU floor and talked to the nurses. Afterwards, he convinced me to go home saying they promised to call me immediately if there was any change.
After I got home, I called Mark in California and told him what was going on. He said to keep him informed. I sat in the corner of the couch beside the telephone all night and was back at the hospital by 8 a.m. and began the five-minute visiting ritual again. A little after noon, the nurse told me they were moving her from ICU into a private room on the isolation floor.
In isolation, I still had to be gowned and masked, and still was the only person allowed to see Tammy. Then at 8 pm. the nurse said visiting hour was over and I had to leave! Tammy remained in isolation for two weeks and during that time I was the only visitor she was allowed, except for my Mom and Dad. They came up the first weekend after Tammy got sick and the hospital allowed them to see Tammy once, gowned and masked.
After Tammy was moved into isolation, I was only allowed to see her during regular visiting hours. Since I had to work, and it was too far to go on my lunch hour, that meant I could only be with her from 6 to 8 pm every day. I left her crying every night. That was just hospital policy back then. They thought parents were a nuisance. I'm so glad hospitals have changed the rules and parents are allowed to stay with their children now.
On the day Tammy was released, I talked to one of her doctors and asked just what it was she'd had. He told me he wasn't sure. The only positive diagnosis was a severe kidney infection. I was furious and demanded to know why she was kept in isolation for a kidney infection. He hemed and hawed around and said, "she might have had meningitis or polio."
Even our family doctor, who was a D.O...Doctor of Osteopathy...couldn't get a firm diagnosis from the hospital. Back then D.O.s didn't have hospital privileges anyplace except a D.O. hospital. He said it was obvious that Tammy'd had a more serious condition than a kidney infection, that hospitals did not isolate a child unless it was absolutely necessary. And that the treatment she had received indicated viral meningitis, or even polio, but he was leaning towards meningitis.
D.O.s might have been considered second-class, or even lower, on the medical doctor scale, but I am convinced that ours saved Tammy's life.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 15
In March, just a few weeks after the kids and I had moved back into town, my uncle Calvin and his wife, Jan, stopped by on a Sunday evening. There was a new bad auditioning at the M-bar and they asked me to go with them to listen to it. I got one of the teen-agers living downstairs to baby-sit for a couple of hours.
The band was not memorable, in fact I don't think the bar hired them. But...something memorable did happen that night. I met the man who would become my husband...and would be my best friend for the rest of my life.
I think I mentioned before that I knew most everyone who went to the M-Bar. Calvin, Jan and I were sitting at a table against the wall listening to the music. I was not in a dancing mood that night and was drinking cokes. When I looked around, this guy sitting at a table against the opposite wall was looking at me. Every time I looked his way, he was watching me. At one time we made eye contact, and I felt a thrill run through me clear down to my toes. I had never seen him in there, or anywhere else for that matter.
He was the best looking man I had ever seen. He only stood about 5 feet 8 inches tall with a muscular, slightly stocky build. Black hair. Dark brown eyes. Dark complexion. Unlike most of the men there who wore casual clothes, mostly khaki pants and pull over shirts, this stranger was wearing brown dress pants, white shirt with a skinny tie and tan sports coat. I asked several people if they knew him but nobody did.
A couple of days later I had a phone call at work. Fran, a girl I had gone to school with, worked at a local restaurant. She called and said this guy was asking questions about a girl he had seen at the M-Bar on Sunday night. From his description, she said it sounded like me. He asked her if she could introduce us, if it was okay with me. Of course, it was! Fran told him that I usually brought my kids into the restaurant on Saturday afternoon for ice cream and he said he would be there.
As it turned out, I was not able to go to the restaurant on Saturday for some reason or other. On Sunday, because it was an unseasonably warm day, the kids and I went for a walk. We stopped by to see Fran and I apologized for not showing up the day before. While we were talking, HE walked in. Fran was busy and didn't make it back over to my table. I guess HE got tired of waiting for a formal introduction because he walked over, pulled out a chair and introduced himself. He said, "I'm Joe Wussles, and I just have to tell you that you're the best looking woman I've ever seen." I blushed and my kids giggled, but I managed to stammer out that I was Lori Reed and these were my kids, Tammy and Buddy. He said Fran had given him my phone number and asked if he could call me sometime. Sure, I said. Then he left.
The kids and I started walking home just as it started to drizzle rain. We had walked perhaps a block when this blue car stopped beside us with two men in it. The passenger window rolled down...and I saw that Joe was driving. He asked if we'd like a ride home. I told him it was only a couple of blocks, that we were fine walking in the rain. He drove off...but drove by us at least three times before we got back to our house.
Later that evening, he called and we talked for only a few minutes since I was getting the kids ready for bed. An hour later he called back...and we talked for at least an hour. For the next couple of weeks, Joe called every night. He was a student at Eastern Michigan University there in Ypsilanti and was only in town through the week, going home to Highland Park every weekend. Since I didn't date or go out through the week, the telephone calls were our only contact for awhile.
Then, one Saturday night at the M-Bar, he walked in. I was shocked. I knew that on weekends he worked at his family's bar in Detroit. He sat with Carol and me for a little bit, then asked me if I would go someplace quieter with him. Of course, I would. For the first time in my life, I left the bar with a man. As we walked out, I could see jaws dropping in disbelief.
He said he had asked his mother to get another bartender that night because he had to get back up to Ypsilanti for something important. We went to the Bomber restaurant and sat there for four hours drinking coffee and talking and holding hands.
Except for our nightly phone calls, now even on weekends he called me from home, we didn't see each other. Then he asked me to the prom in May. He was substitute teaching at Lincoln High School and had to chaperone the senior prom. I agreed to go and as soon as I got off the phone, I panicked. What could I wear? I didn't own any fancy clothes. And I didn't know anybody who would know what a chaperone wore to a prom.
I ended up going to the local Goodwill Store and buying a frothy blue cocktail dress and had a pair of white heels dyed to match. Joe showed up in a black suit and was so handsome, I nearly swooned when I saw him. Later, he told me I was so beautiful that his heart plummeted to his feet when he saw me. We were already half in love with each other, but that night we both tumbled the whole way.
From then on, he stopped by my apartment every evening and got to know and love my kids. They soon loved him as much as I did. He still had to work at the bar in Detroit on Friday and Saturday nights, but every couple of weeks, Carol and I, or sometimes just I, went to his bar. My teen-age cousin, Alta, had gotten into the habit of spending Saturday nights with me, so baby-sitting was no problem.
One Sunday nightafter we'd been seeing each other for over a year, he called me. He said he was still at home and wouldn't be back to Ypsi for awhile. His semester had ended but he had signed up for summer classes. When I asked why he wasn't coming back, he was very vague. The phone call upset me. I thought he was dumping me. I didn't hear from him the rest of the week and I cried every night.
On Saturday, he called and wanted me to drive up Highland Park and meet him at his house. I was ecstatic! Although, I knew his mother and uncle from the bar, I had never been to his house, so I thought this might be a good omen.
Skipping a lot of details to keep this from becoming a novel, Joe and I left his house and went to a park. Sitting at a picnic table, he said he had something important to tell me but didn't know how to go about doing it. Just spit it out, I said...again thinking I was getting dumped. Then he told me he had epilepsy and the reason he hadn't gone back up to Ypsi was because he'd had a seizure the last Saturday and wrecked his car. When he called me on Sunday, he had just gotten home from an overnight stay in the hospital.
He said his mother had been nagging him to tell me about the epilepsy for months, but he didn't know how. He had been thirteen years old when he had a seizure during a basketball game and was diagnosed with grand-mal epilepsy. He was on medication and the seizures were generally well controlled, but he still had an occasional seizure. I assured him that his epilepsy made no difference in my feelings.
to be continued
The band was not memorable, in fact I don't think the bar hired them. But...something memorable did happen that night. I met the man who would become my husband...and would be my best friend for the rest of my life.
I think I mentioned before that I knew most everyone who went to the M-Bar. Calvin, Jan and I were sitting at a table against the wall listening to the music. I was not in a dancing mood that night and was drinking cokes. When I looked around, this guy sitting at a table against the opposite wall was looking at me. Every time I looked his way, he was watching me. At one time we made eye contact, and I felt a thrill run through me clear down to my toes. I had never seen him in there, or anywhere else for that matter.
He was the best looking man I had ever seen. He only stood about 5 feet 8 inches tall with a muscular, slightly stocky build. Black hair. Dark brown eyes. Dark complexion. Unlike most of the men there who wore casual clothes, mostly khaki pants and pull over shirts, this stranger was wearing brown dress pants, white shirt with a skinny tie and tan sports coat. I asked several people if they knew him but nobody did.
A couple of days later I had a phone call at work. Fran, a girl I had gone to school with, worked at a local restaurant. She called and said this guy was asking questions about a girl he had seen at the M-Bar on Sunday night. From his description, she said it sounded like me. He asked her if she could introduce us, if it was okay with me. Of course, it was! Fran told him that I usually brought my kids into the restaurant on Saturday afternoon for ice cream and he said he would be there.
As it turned out, I was not able to go to the restaurant on Saturday for some reason or other. On Sunday, because it was an unseasonably warm day, the kids and I went for a walk. We stopped by to see Fran and I apologized for not showing up the day before. While we were talking, HE walked in. Fran was busy and didn't make it back over to my table. I guess HE got tired of waiting for a formal introduction because he walked over, pulled out a chair and introduced himself. He said, "I'm Joe Wussles, and I just have to tell you that you're the best looking woman I've ever seen." I blushed and my kids giggled, but I managed to stammer out that I was Lori Reed and these were my kids, Tammy and Buddy. He said Fran had given him my phone number and asked if he could call me sometime. Sure, I said. Then he left.
The kids and I started walking home just as it started to drizzle rain. We had walked perhaps a block when this blue car stopped beside us with two men in it. The passenger window rolled down...and I saw that Joe was driving. He asked if we'd like a ride home. I told him it was only a couple of blocks, that we were fine walking in the rain. He drove off...but drove by us at least three times before we got back to our house.
Later that evening, he called and we talked for only a few minutes since I was getting the kids ready for bed. An hour later he called back...and we talked for at least an hour. For the next couple of weeks, Joe called every night. He was a student at Eastern Michigan University there in Ypsilanti and was only in town through the week, going home to Highland Park every weekend. Since I didn't date or go out through the week, the telephone calls were our only contact for awhile.
Then, one Saturday night at the M-Bar, he walked in. I was shocked. I knew that on weekends he worked at his family's bar in Detroit. He sat with Carol and me for a little bit, then asked me if I would go someplace quieter with him. Of course, I would. For the first time in my life, I left the bar with a man. As we walked out, I could see jaws dropping in disbelief.
He said he had asked his mother to get another bartender that night because he had to get back up to Ypsilanti for something important. We went to the Bomber restaurant and sat there for four hours drinking coffee and talking and holding hands.
Except for our nightly phone calls, now even on weekends he called me from home, we didn't see each other. Then he asked me to the prom in May. He was substitute teaching at Lincoln High School and had to chaperone the senior prom. I agreed to go and as soon as I got off the phone, I panicked. What could I wear? I didn't own any fancy clothes. And I didn't know anybody who would know what a chaperone wore to a prom.
I ended up going to the local Goodwill Store and buying a frothy blue cocktail dress and had a pair of white heels dyed to match. Joe showed up in a black suit and was so handsome, I nearly swooned when I saw him. Later, he told me I was so beautiful that his heart plummeted to his feet when he saw me. We were already half in love with each other, but that night we both tumbled the whole way.
From then on, he stopped by my apartment every evening and got to know and love my kids. They soon loved him as much as I did. He still had to work at the bar in Detroit on Friday and Saturday nights, but every couple of weeks, Carol and I, or sometimes just I, went to his bar. My teen-age cousin, Alta, had gotten into the habit of spending Saturday nights with me, so baby-sitting was no problem.
One Sunday nightafter we'd been seeing each other for over a year, he called me. He said he was still at home and wouldn't be back to Ypsi for awhile. His semester had ended but he had signed up for summer classes. When I asked why he wasn't coming back, he was very vague. The phone call upset me. I thought he was dumping me. I didn't hear from him the rest of the week and I cried every night.
On Saturday, he called and wanted me to drive up Highland Park and meet him at his house. I was ecstatic! Although, I knew his mother and uncle from the bar, I had never been to his house, so I thought this might be a good omen.
Skipping a lot of details to keep this from becoming a novel, Joe and I left his house and went to a park. Sitting at a picnic table, he said he had something important to tell me but didn't know how to go about doing it. Just spit it out, I said...again thinking I was getting dumped. Then he told me he had epilepsy and the reason he hadn't gone back up to Ypsi was because he'd had a seizure the last Saturday and wrecked his car. When he called me on Sunday, he had just gotten home from an overnight stay in the hospital.
He said his mother had been nagging him to tell me about the epilepsy for months, but he didn't know how. He had been thirteen years old when he had a seizure during a basketball game and was diagnosed with grand-mal epilepsy. He was on medication and the seizures were generally well controlled, but he still had an occasional seizure. I assured him that his epilepsy made no difference in my feelings.
to be continued
Friday, June 12, 2009
LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 14
The kids and I loved the new apartment. It was the whole upstairs of a two family home with stairs on the back of the house. We had a big living room. a small dining room, one big bedroom and a smaller bedroom. The kitchen was huge. The bathroom was small and had a stall shower instead of a bathtub. All the floors were covered with brown asbestos tiles. Every Saturday I scrubbed and waxed those floors and they were beautiful...for maybe two days.
The apartment was furnished with new, or practically new, furniture and appliances. The small bedroom had two twin beds and two small chests of drawers for the kids. My bedroom had a full bed, dresser and chest as well as two bedside tables. There were no closets but both bedrooms had wardrobes.
The elementary school was just a block from the house. Buddy was still in kindergarten, so I picked him up at noon every day and dropped him off at my grandmother's, just four blocks from our house. When Tammy got out of school, she walked to Granny's and I picked them up when I got off work.
Granny was about 73 years old and lived with her older sister, Aunt Dora. I worried about the kids being too much for them and constantly cautioned Tammy and Buddy to be on their best behavior. As it turned out, they loved going there and Granny and Aunt Dora fussed over and babied them, spoiling them rotten. When school was out, I had to make other arrangements. All day baby-sitting was just too much for Granny and Aunt Dora, no matter how much they loved Tammy and Buddy. So, they went back to Avanelle. Whatever would I have done those years without her!!
The apartment was furnished with new, or practically new, furniture and appliances. The small bedroom had two twin beds and two small chests of drawers for the kids. My bedroom had a full bed, dresser and chest as well as two bedside tables. There were no closets but both bedrooms had wardrobes.
The elementary school was just a block from the house. Buddy was still in kindergarten, so I picked him up at noon every day and dropped him off at my grandmother's, just four blocks from our house. When Tammy got out of school, she walked to Granny's and I picked them up when I got off work.
Granny was about 73 years old and lived with her older sister, Aunt Dora. I worried about the kids being too much for them and constantly cautioned Tammy and Buddy to be on their best behavior. As it turned out, they loved going there and Granny and Aunt Dora fussed over and babied them, spoiling them rotten. When school was out, I had to make other arrangements. All day baby-sitting was just too much for Granny and Aunt Dora, no matter how much they loved Tammy and Buddy. So, they went back to Avanelle. Whatever would I have done those years without her!!
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