LIFE WITH MY CHILDREN PART 28

Once again, life was good. We were all settled in our new home. Joe was back in school for his last semester...hopefully. I was working at a job I loved, had a part-time job I equally loved, a man I was crazy in love with...and who apparently felt the same way about me. Tammy and Buddy were happy with all of it!

Tammy had her first crush! Four young men...18 to 22 years old...musicians, all...shared the house next door to us...we shared the same driveway. The next nearest neighbor was at least a quarter mile away. The boys took a liking to my kids and spent a lot of time outside playing with them. I had my reservations about them, even though they were always pleasant and polite to me, even offering to baby-sit after school on the days Joe had classes. Too often, when I talked to a couple of them, I could tell they were high on something...and not alcohol. I forbid Tammy and Buddy to go into their house at any time. Of course whenever Joe and I discussed the boys in her hearing, she became very hostile and defensive of the boys.

We lived on Freeland Road for only a year. While it was Tammy's and Buddy's favorite of the places we lived, it was my least favorite. I liked living in an apartment in town where I didn't have to worry about mowing grass and shoveling snow. Also since I often had to go out in the evenings to settle problems, show apartments to prospective tenants, collect rents, or just make inspections, I had several miles to drive. Joe was wonderful. He never complained about the hours I worked. And the small management company I started was growing. That winter I had 20 apartments in six buildings plus five single dwellings...all rented to college students. The apartments were rented furnished with utilities paid. It seemed like the entire months of September and October I was out every evening for two or three hours.

A serial killer was on the loose that year, killing mainly college girls in Ypsi and Ann Arbor. One week, early the next summer, Avanelle's son, Gary...came out to stay a few days with us. He got bored and went home after a couple of days...while I was at work. He walked home...a good five miles cross-country, through fields. He told his mother that he walked near a dead animal...it stuck to high heaven. A couple days later a 14 year old girl's body was found in that field.

Eventually, the serial killer was caught...not long after I moved to Highland Park. Come to find out...the killer had been one of my tenants for a few months, sharing a house on River Street with several other boys! I had no contact with him, other than saying hi, how are ya...when I'd visit the house. My contact there was just one boy...a graduate student who was responsible for collecting the rent from the boys sharing the house...anywhere from five to eight at any one time.

In addition to my two jobs, Joe was having trouble with another class. It was a math class involving algebraic formulations. Now algebra was the only class I got below an A in in highschool. I had a C one semester in it. Nevertheless, I went to the library and took out algebra books and taught myself enough that I could help Joe with his class. Actually, I did his papers for him, all A's I might add...and he barely passed the tests. But did pass the course with a C.

Joe got his degree in January and we began making plans to get married. Then disaster struck again. On Monday I took the afternoon off work so we could go get our blood tests and apply for our license. When I went home to pick him up...he wasn't there. Instead, there was a note saying he was sorry, but just didn't think he was ready to get married. Just like that he was gone.

I was heart-broken and so were Tammy and Buddy. My life-saver was Dr. Hoff. He was furious at Joe and tried to get hold of him but Joe would not take his calls, nor mine. For the next few months the kids and I spent a lot of time with Bob Hoff and his son who was Buddy's age. I can't say I was never attracted to him, but valued our friendship too much to let him know. After I realized that I was attracted sexually to him, I backed off on the time we spent together and encouraged him in his pursuit of other women...until one of his students began spending too much time at his house. Then I really lit into him over it, asking how he could be so dumb to take such a chance with his position and job. After that he stopped seeing so much of Alice and decided to take a sabbatical. Well, I guess he had been working on it for awhile. That summer he planned to take five years, spending two years in Norway, one year in Germany and two years in a couple African countries studying their physical education systems.

The middle of May, Joe came back. Not exactly back...he still lived in Highland Park where he was teaching middle school...but back into my life. I won't say I welcomed him with open arms...even though I loved him, I was hurt and angry. But he wooed me non-stop. Nightly phone calls. Flowers. Gifts for the kids. He would even call the house and talk to Tammy and Buddy in the hour between when they got home from school and I got home from work.

I was still mixed up and didn't know whether to take Joe back or not when I talked to Bob Hoff about it. Then Bob really threw me for a loop. He said he was the wrong person to ask that advice because he, himself, was in love with me and wanted the kids and me to go to Europe with him. But the proposal he made was that he would pay our way...until we decided whether or not to get married...and he thought we should give it at least six months together before we made that decision. I said no way, jose! I was tempted, I admit. I wasn't in love with him but did like and respect him and can't deny there was a certain sexual attraction. He asked me not to make a decision right away but to think about it. He had two weeks before he had to finalize his plans with the school.

Well...

I decided to take those two weeks and see if I could salvage my relationship with Joe or not. At the end of the time, I had to tell Bob that Joe and I were engaged and proudly show him my diamond.

Did I make the right decision? I have often thought how different our lives would have been had I gone with Bob. How the kids lives would have been enriched by five years in Europe and Africa. But I loved Joe and wanted to spend my life with him.