We left Highland Park at five p.m on Tuesday, near the first of February. Joe flew in on Monday and took our station wagon to have it serviced and get a hitch attached...so we could tow the Volks. We didn't get the wagon back until after noon and then had to load it...so we were several hours later leaving than we'd planned.
The first night we drove into Texas before stopping at a motel, the second night we hit a dust storm near Phoenix and didn't find a motel vacancy until after midnight. The next day we drove the rest of the way into Ventura, California, getting there about eight p.m.
We were all ready for the long trip to end. Joey was fifteen months old and the trip was hard on him. He was constantly climbing from the front seat to the back...then a few minutes later back to the front. We had car seat hooked over the middle of the front seat, but he wouldn't stay in it very long at a time. Tammy and Buddy were ready to desert him several times...literally. At one rest stop, Buddy and Tammy took Joey out in the field (desert) and ran off and left him. When he came running up to me, Buddy looked at Tammy and said...It didn't work, he found us. We all laughed but I wasn't completely sure it was a joke!
Kuma Walter and Kuma Lillian had a lovely, big ranch house. Joe and Joey and I shared a room...we had brought Joey's crib. Tammy shared a room with Pam, Kum's seven year old daughter. Buddy slept on the sofa bed in the family room, as did Kum's son Paul on weekends. Paul was attending a military academy even though he was only 14 years old. I guess they'd had some problems with him in public schools. Actually, from what I saw, he was a normal kid and Kuma Lillian didn't want to bother with him.
The two months we stayed with the Kums in Ventura were a nightmare. Kums just didn't like kids, not theirs and certainly not mine. After the first few mornings when Kuma complained about Joey being so noisy in the mornings...he wasn't...he was a laughing happy baby in the mornings...but his chatter and laughing bothered Kuma...I started getting him up...changing and dressing him...creeping out to the kitchen with him...making his breakfast and taking it and him to the car. We drove around for at least two hours, stopping at an over-look by the ocean where I fed him. On weekends I took Tammy and Buddy with us. We'd go home when I was sure it was past time for Kuma to get out of bed.
Although Kuma tolerated Tammy, she didn't like Buddy at all. She would not allow him to play in the house. After school, he was shooed outside or to the garage to play, coming inside only to eat and sleep.
I allowed this to happen and kept my mouth shut all the month of Feb. I spent a lot of time in our bedroom with Joey...and Buddy. Joe was no help at all. He constantly told me we had to ge grateful to Kums for taking us in...and that it was only for a few weeks.
The first of March, I got several commission checks as well as my child support allotment. I told Joe we more than enough to rent our own place and begged him to let us move. Then he told me that Kum was behind on the house payments as well as other bills and was going to declare bankruptcy. Before Joe left to come get us, Kum had put the house in Joe's name...just a formality so they wouldn't lose it. But Joe said we had to make the house payments plus two months back payments. There went all my money except the allotment which I refused to give over. We didnt' even have enough left to make our own car payment
While we were there Kuma never lifted a hand to do anything other than cook. I did all the cleaning, the washing and ironing and everything else around the house.
Joe got up every morning and went to work from about 7 to four. Three weeks after we got there, Joey got sick. On Friday, Joe's payday, I went to pick up his paycheck in the morning so I could buy some medication for Joey. Wellllll. When I told the receptionist who I was and what I wanted, she told me Joe didn't work there anymore. He had quit over a week ago. Yet every morning that week he had gone to work..at least that was what I thought. Turned out he went to the library and spent the days because he didn't know how to tell me...as well as the Kums...that he wasn't working.
Towards the middle of March I went out and found a job...and a house for us to rent. Joe refused to move. And said I couldn't take the job, either...that Kuma would not watch Joey while I worked. I gave him an ultimatum. Either find a job and let us move by the first of April, or I was going to Indiana.
Needless to say, Kum and Kuma backed him up in everything. Naturally they didn't want us to move. I was paying their bills and working as an unpaid servant. Every day I'd get a lecture from Kuma about Joe being the head of the household...in other words, my boss...and it was my responsibility to back him up and encourage him.
We did have a few good times while out there and I'll write about them later. Right now, I'm in a fuming mode and just remembering those days raises my blood pressure!
Anyway, the first of April Joe said he didn't have a job...but had a promised of one for the following school year. In the meantime, he said, we'd stay with Kums. You might stay, I said....I'm getting my kids out of here!
The first week in April, I made good on my threat. Early on Saturday morning, I got up, got the kids dressed...the station wagon loaded with our clothes and said good-bye to Joe. We all cried. I told Joe I was going to Mom and Dad in Indiana...and all he had to do was send me a paystub and proof that he had rented us a place to live and we'd be back...even if I had to borrow the money for the trip.
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